Well... I'm on day 4. I was about a .2 or .1 heroin a day user, snorting it. Very decent stuff. Never really wanted to push beyond that because then I wouldn't feel it. Still though, .1 day will give you hella withdrawals. Sure, it sounds like lightweight shit. It's not. I can't even imagine people who shoot it. I just can't. My hats off to you folks who quit. What a hellish nightmare.
My last line was Tuesday 2:30am (Monday evening). So I'm closing in on 96 hours.
I've been using kratom... it helps but then I gotta jump off it. Luckily, I have a great gaba connection, but... the problem is... I don't like gabapentin. I want to like it. But... I just don't. I take like 200mg and it barely helps me sleep. I can't even imagine taking like 600mg or even more. But, I'm hopeful that it will help jumping off kratom, and just like take 100mg for breakfast, 100mg at lunch, and 100mg when I get home. Do that for a few days.
Anyway... I'm hoping that I can taper the kratom down soon. I used to able to maintain at 12g per day. This time quitting feels different.
I dunno, I'm rambling. I just wish I had some benzos. And I hate benzos. You can see a pattern here. My gaba system doesn't give me the warm fuzzies like it seems to do for virtually everyone else. Although... I took some gabapentin last night, and after 3 hours, it kicked in ANNND, I got 2 hours of sleep.
What sucks is that the insomnia, which is maddening and very frustrating right now, will give way to PAWS. And for me, PAWS = tired. Tired all the time. Different than the muscle fatigue from direct withdrawal, but still almost as a debilitating.
I just read a thread about taking bupropion for PAWS. Fuck yeah, I can get on board for that.
So yeah... day 4, not feeling that great... still getting the zaps. Still crying at the drop of a hat at something. I'm a fan of Big Cat Rescue in Tampa Florida, and like... all their videos make me cry. This will pass, very soon. But then the PAWS. Ugh.
Luckily... I got me some helper things. The adderall 30 mg I should be able to split into like 4 doses of 7.5mg apiece. That will help with energy. I did adderall daily for like a year, and when I ran out, it sucked, but I didn't withdrawal. Been a while.
Anyway, hoping to get more out of the gabapentin. I don't like taking high doses because I don't like the way it makes me feel. I guess I need to man up and take a 600mg dose or something. That should help me sleep. I just wanna sleep. I took Xanax the first two nights. It didn't get me to sleep BUT it did help with restless limbs. I'm rambling.
Anyway, anyone out there who reads this later, I just want you to know I empathize.