Well folks, today is day 31. And I am both amused and amazed, and dazed and confused!!! How the fuck did I pull this off???? Yes, I am and have always been active. I sold my car 11 years ago when I lived in a very pedestrian friendly hood. So, biking and walking just came naturally. Now I still bike and walk but a car is almost a necessity where I now live. And I am trying so hard to avoid owning one.
I do tire when I walk longer distances. But I've also had 3 foot surgeries this past year and a half. Just getting able to walk without pain now. Its fucking freezing in the Northeast right now, but that air
feels so good to me. Big slap in the face!
When my dealer called me a couple days ago and then again yesterday...it set off a chain of events. Physically, I felt just like I would 'waitin for the man', the exhilaration and also churning of my stomach.
Slight fiending. And of course, the tape starts playing in my head. Dumb shit, like: 'Maybe I COULD just use once on the weekends'?! It always ends the same. Badly. Or at the very least, it sets me back
growth wise. I have definitely suffered from delayed adolescence!!! I am so late to the game getting my shit back together. And now I can see a future. Good things have already started happening.
And DAMN if my skin is not glowing now!! No more dope face. I look and feel good. But I miss it. Got so much shit going on in this hell of a house I'm living in at the moment. But I am handling it clean and so, yeah, I am patting myself albeit tentatively, on the back. I know how quickly this could all go sideways. But I made 31!! Friggin miracle.
Thank you for the kindness. I love this place