darvocet21
Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 31, 2021
- Messages
- 27,095
I almost hate to use the word because I despise it, but the most spiritual people I've met are former hardcore addicts who've gotten clean.Going back is part of the insanity of the disease. Thinking somehow THIS TIME THINGS WILL BE DIFFERENT. Just because I have, now 32 days, does not by any means, mean I am in the clear. I know this from my past record. I'm impressed by the fact that I made it thus far, but until I get in to see a shrink and start working on solid coping skills...well, that relapse is waiting for me.
Right now I am enjoying the 5 hours of sleep I string together and the $$ I am saving. I enjoyed honest to goodness laughter for the first time in forever. The kind that makes your gut ache! I am trying to
catalog these moments so that when I feel weak, maybe I will recall how goddamn good it feels not to be dependent on junk to get through the day. That I am stronger than I know.
Thank you for all the support here. It's the one place I feel free to let it all out.
I never will forget this one speaker who came to our sober living he was a straight-up hardened convict and former gang member probably in his forties and one of the things he said that would have sounded lame coming from anybody else was that he loved us...
The sober living house manager he was an old school recovering addict who had been in the original Drs. Dole & Nyswander pilot studies of methadone maintenance on the East Coast and had been going to meetings for like 20 years (mostly AA) in Los Angeles and so we always had the best speakers at our meetings
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