Good to see ya back in action Tentram- I'm pretty familiar with the havoc that rampant diazepam (ab)use can cause, my fiancé gives me the evils if I so much as mention diazepam, alprazolam or...god forbid...midazolam (*face palm as I 'remember' spending a good hour explaining, in detail, why I'd like to fuck a mutual friend of ours...I don't remember remember, I vaguely recall/have been told...no, I have no idea what the fuck I was trying to achieve- I wasn't going for a threesome, I just spent an hour slurring about why I'd fuck Imogen*).
Besides, high dose benzo use has a whole host of other problems associated. Blaugh, gimme some fucking smack- it's brutal, but it's straight forward. None of this seizure/year long taper/6 month withdrawal bullshit.
Speaking of which...the #4 seems to be making a minor comeback in New Zealand, or at very least it's actually starting to slowly be spilling out of Auckland. It won't last, I just hope people don't go mental and get huge unsustainable habits (I have no doubt it'll dry up in a few months, it'll be like ketamine/real MDMA) because the methadone programmes are running 18 month waiting lists and homebake gets fucking difficult quickly- even if you've got the cash you're not necessarily gonna be able to cop 500mg of morphine to turn a day...at which point you're either sick as a dog or you turn to buying methadone- which can be done, but illicit-methadone addicts are in a fucking tough spot (especially in NZ- so few people), if you think having to 'depend' on some junk-slinging twat is a fucking hassle try counting on some 'Done 'dealer' who will fuck you around, change the price ten times (depending on how their smack/MiStie negotiations are going) only to sell you 75% of what you agreed to because they "needed to take the edge off"...and the shit is watered down anyway.
That and I hope no one fucking up and dies. The last time a couple of idiots started selling smack in Wellington, well over a decade ago now, a bunch of people died and they go locked the fuck up quick smart...as they probably should have been, they were a bunch of fuckwits. They were cutting their dope, but because they were New Zealanders and not really experienced at selling smack, so the were cutting it really fucking badly...some bags were 80-90% lactose powder, some were 80-90% junk- hence people dying.
That was a good ramble. I picked up a little bit, just a half gram...have a bunch of real world stuff coming up so I wont have the time/be in the situation where doing smack is appropriate (as appropriate is junk ever is I suppose?). So this will be my last bag for probably 3-6 months. I've got a wee habit, but I've got plenty of benzos and a great deal of freedom when it comes to tapering/kicking so I'm not that intimidated.
Besides I've only been using daily for a bit under 2 months and I've been keeping my use restricted to in the hours before I go to bed as well as only 'going hard' at the weekends & maintaining with PST the rest of the time. That shit is like OTC methadone, I swear. I'll probably switch over to morphine or DHC if I can get it for the last of my taper, just because PST can be rougher than it should be (if you know what I mean?) but switching off it is easy and it's good for tapering down quickly. I've found I can prett much halve my dose with PST every 3 days comfortably vs only being able to reduce my dose by about 30% every 3 days comfortably with pharms/junk. Interesting huh? Them opium alkaloids are pretty magic...I think they quell a lot of the sour stomach associated with tapering.
I'm fairly comfortable withdrawing, I'm motivated and confident...besides none of what I'm doing is NA/rehab friendly, I fully intent on continuing to use drugs, including opiates- but I'm not comfortably being physically dependent on any drug so feel I needa get that shit under control. Jesus I'm rambling, and I've only had a couple of lines to see what this shit is like...I like how low does of junk can make you quite manic, stimulated and talkative. My fiancé gets that hardcore, even at higher doses...it seems to be more common with women, from observation.
It's been cut with fucking talcum powder or something like that...which is gross, but I wasn't planning on IV'ing any anyway...but don't you love it when your heroin smell reminds you of a woman's skin? Haha
Time to enjoy what's left of the sun, take care peeps.