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Relapse the moment right before you mess up!

So now have been smokinn'''' dabz because the cough suppressant worked. So.
 
hylite said:
I ended up not taking the Duloxetine and the bottle is still sealed. Have to peel the foil sealed on container.
But the next day I bite a tiny chip of a 10mg hydrocodone. Because I was trying to do a dab and I had been crying so much from being in pain that it was making me cough so much and hard to breath well. So opioid is a cough suppressant and it really helped. But the kindling is back a little worse each time and slight withdrawal and now I am almost out of Prednisone. I will be in pain a lot and don't have anything else to take.

And the maybe three choices and I don't EVEN know what they mean or can they even help somehow. ? And I am not seeing it. For my auto immune inflammation.


1 Gabapentin ?

2 Pregabalin ?

3 Duloxetine ?
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All 3 of those meds are used for nerve pain. The first 2 are particularly effective. You have to be on them long-term for them to have a good effect though.
 
n3ophy7e said:
All 3 of those meds are used for nerve pain. The first 2 are particularly effective. You have to be on them long-term for them to have a good effect though.
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I want to get the refill for the Duloxetine NOW! I got the first one May 2021. I just called it in yesterday and it was Saturday so the recording took the order and said the pharmacist isn't in rght now and then it cut me off. The refill expired 6 16 22. So they said they will have to get the doctor to approve it.

I was sent to this doctor last May 2021 because he helps those out who are having an emergency with pain issues. BUT this doctor won't take on chronic pain support or work on pain management anymore because they are all getting run out of their practices for helping with pain situations long term because of narcotics being so helpful with many conditions that this helps with.

So he just gave me Pregabalin Duloxetine Pantoprazole and Oxycodone5mg's. I only used the Oxycodone !!

But see how compassionate some of them TRY to be through the nonsense cause we all have to be scerd about it now !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I couldn't get any help and NOW IT'S TOO LATE.

I don't know if he will even approve the script now BUT it is ONLY ten days since the refill would have been expired. I doubt it but I still tried. I don't think it is supposed to be mixed with norco I am not sure about that either. Just not doing well.
 
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The prednisone is still in me and I only have a half of a pill left. It is the only thing that works right now. I am tapering it so it can give me the cortisone boost that I need. I am still in a bit of hydrocodone withdrawal too. I'm sick and cannot drink alcohol. Dabs won't even work. Nauseous and need help too tired. cant do this.
 
And I had to drive to get an appointment there and it was so far away because they are banning pain management and if you aren't established here anymore you are done. It doesn't make sense but it is. I guess all the opium ran out. I don't care anymore.
 
Jesus if that bone doctor is compassionate he would prescribe the prednisone i would hope. Um so sick.
 
Okay so I found another Duloxetine30mg in my bag. Now I have two bottles 30 capsules per bottle.
But I really need Prednisone.Bad. whoa.

I am annoying tonight. Sorry.

Just using the dabs again. ;)




:cool::weedleaf:
 
hylite said:
Okay so I found another Duloxetine30mg in my bag. Now I have two bottles 30 capsules per bottle.
But I really need Prednisone.Bad. whoa.

I am annoying tonight. Sorry.

Just using the dabs again. ;)




:cool::weedleaf:
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Pregabalin and Gaba are for nerve pain, have anticonvulsive properties (i take em for that) and lessen anxiety. Thats all i know. The other thing i know is potentially harmful information.
 
nznity said:
You're rationalising your use, that's common between addicts. I've done the same shit a thousand times but I've would've done better without it.
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Maybe yeah, but i do remember times when i was relatively happy and never thought about drugs because i didnt need them.
Btw i missed my karate exam because i was too busy doing a fat shot. Cannot afford to give a fuck either, since every aspiration i had has been beaten out of me by now. I just wanna hurt the motherfucker downstairs whose ugly ass dog wont stop barking all.fucking.day.
 
strangeaeon said:
I just wanna hurt the motherfucker downstairs whose ugly ass dog wont stop barking all.fucking.day.
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to be fair, so would i. i hate people who mistreat animals and i'm not sure what could cause a dog to bark all day but it can't be getting the best quality care.

losing aspirations and all interest in everything but using were one of the worst things about addiction for me. it just makes your life so small and when you lost sight of everything that might make life enjoyable that isn't drugs, that's when you're really trapped.
 
chinup said:
to be fair, so would i. i hate people who mistreat animals and i'm not sure what could cause a dog to bark all day but it can't be getting the best quality care.

losing aspirations and all interest in everything but using were one of the worst things about addiction for me. it just makes your life so small and when you lost sight of everything that might make life enjoyable that isn't drugs, that's when you're really trapped.
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I do still enjoy things, but i dont have any desire to achieve anything anymore. Im extremely tired, and sleep wont fix it.
People in this part of town have low iq and shitty education, so they leave their pets alone in a tiny balcony all fucking day because they are profoundly retarded.
 
strangeaeon said:
I do still enjoy things,
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i'm very glad to hear that.

tbh i'm in 2 minds about desire for achievements. i tried to fill the void i felt with bits of paper that claim i'm clever. people are still impressed with them, but they didn't make me happy.they gave me an excuse not to work on myself cos in my head when i just got x achievement then i would be happy. never happened and just left me empty. but those bits of paper did open the door to a fulfilling career once i sorted my shit out. now i don't want achievements in any traditional sense, but i was to get the best out of myself, which sometimes aligns with external achievements, but often doesn't.
 
chinup said:
i'm very glad to hear that.

tbh i'm in 2 minds about desire for achievements. i tried to fill the void i felt with bits of paper that claim i'm clever. people are still impressed with them, but they didn't make me happy.they gave me an excuse not to work on myself cos in my head when i just got x achievement then i would be happy. never happened and just left me empty. but those bits of paper did open the door to a fulfilling career once i sorted my shit out. now i don't want achievements in any traditional sense, but i was to get the best out of myself, which sometimes aligns with external achievements, but often doesn't.
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I did the same and never really used any of those papers or trophys except to flex on others but the things i really wanted to do are not possible anymore, because my body is now weak and beyond repair, so whatever. I still like to read and write, and draw stupid shit.
 
strangeaeon said:
my body is now weak and beyond repair, so whatever. I still like to read and write, and draw stupid shit.
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obviously i don't know what your health status is like, but there may be more room for repair than you think.

my body is incredibly wrecked, and some things like low bone density i am past the age of being reparable. i have nerve damage, some cognitive impairments, blah blah blah par for the course with chronic drug use and ED. anyway, i climbed 2 fucking mountains last year!! two!! i never ever thought that would be possible. worked super hard for it, quit even cigs, still was a nightmare, but i did it. if you're doing karate then that form of conditioning will be helping hugely.
 
I'm at a point were it doesn't matter anything anymore cause my own father gives me drugs to be chill. Otherwise I'd probably be cutting myself or banging my head against the wall. I wanna inject some rn.
 
strangeaeon said:
Oh shid , u had anorexia? It been almost a decade since i recovered an i never got my period back. Not sure if because of h or just anorexia. My ED got so bad that i was sent ro rehab against my will, otherwise i would still have it, or might not even be here. But im not mad about not having a period, quite the opposite 😁😁😁 Well at least u seem like some1 who wont make her childrens life a living hell so thats good!
I was super close to my family until they knew i was using. They are super conservative an clutch they rosaries if they see u smokin a cigarette 🚬🚬🚬 but i miss them
I cant imagine what bullying feels like cus i was homeschooled after elementary haha
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chinup said:
shit, i'm sorry you had it too. mine was pretty bad, i had a few involuntary hospitalisations, and ended up doing a few months in a specialist residential facility. i got well enough to not need IP treatment any more but didn't really recover, just started numbing with drugs instead and was still extremely underweight. thank you for thinking i might not make my childrens life a living hell, i really would hope not to and wouldn't want to bring a life into the world if i didn't believe myself capable of giving a child a decent life. my boyf would make a great dad and we have family near by too which would help.

spoiler for period related tmi:
i found losing my period validating, but i didn't get it back til i gained weight in rehab a few years ago,and its not come back properly, its very light. which apparently means that even if i am ovulating (which drs currently aren't sure....) my womb lining might not be sufficient to actually support a pregnancy. i haven't needed to buy period products since i was 19, just use panty liners for like 2 days a month, i'm 36 now.
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I didnt get my period back and I was weight restored for 2 years all other symptoms like the fine hair and constantly being cold and tired had disappeared long ago and I had a solid recovery that at the time I believed to be permanent.

I started taking Acetyl-L-carnitine and alpha-lipoic acid for other reasons and I wish I had kept better track of it but within less then a year I had my period back. This was very amazing to me so I did what always do and started to research it and I found out the two were indeed connected. I knew in my gut they were because I was working hard to restore my period. My mother had a tumor on her pituitary gland that stopped her period young and sent her into osteoporosis young. I knew having anorexia binge purge subtype since junior high and took long term opioid medications I already was at risk.
in my research I found this I’ll below.

***Carnitines are quaternary amines involved in various cellular processes such as fatty acid uptake, β-oxidation and glucose metabolism regulation. Due to their neurotrophic activities, their integrative use has been studied in several different physio-pathological conditions such as anorexia nervosa, chronic fatigue, vascular diseases, Alzheimer’s disease and male infertility. Being metabolically active, carnitines have also been proposed to treat reproductive impairment such as functional hypothalamic amenorrhea (FHA) and polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) since they improve both hormonal and metabolic parameters modulating the neuroendocrine impairments of FHA. Moreover, they are capable of improving the lipid profile and the insulin sensitivity in patients with PCOS

I think if you are still without a period for a year 2 yrs after fully being weight restored and you know you are not restricting or or engaging in extreme over exercising it’s worth a try to take these vitamins. I would definitely do that before forcing a period with birth control.

this is just my experience

much love to all the ladies struggling with disordered eating it’s difficult to have to face food everyday 🦋
 
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