The MA heroin thread

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how did the appt go? methadone clinic? I myself been on subox for a little over 3 weeks and havent done a damn thing! I know I myself would NEVER have the ability to wake up daily to head to a clininc.. although, right now I am in an outpatient program but its for only a month and 3 days a week.. but a clinic for the rest of your life? or however long it takes? thats hard, man. did you ever consider subox? thats what I am on now and could not be happier. I've done it many times in the past but it was such small doses just to get me to buy time, or wait till the cash came.. ya know!? so 1MG, 2MG on the "bad days". now at 16MG a day on a 1 year program to drop the Subox, I feel SOOOO FCKING MUCH BETTER! I have little to NO CRAVINGS.. I had prob 2 cravings in 25 days.. thats pretty good? was able to break each thought/craving within 5 minutes. happy to finally be AWAY and NOT THINKING of the drug.
 
He guyz...well I was there for bout 2 hours, they took down a lot of info like when did I start using, how much am I using now...idk why they keep asking me all that cause they should have it from when i was there before...anyways they gave me the whiz quiz and now I have to wait till they call back to set up an appt with the doc (presumably for a physical) and hopefully sometime next week i'll start dosing. I'm really not crazy bout the commute and one of the nurses told me to ask to be put on the list so I can dose @ the clinic close to home, but I was told the list is pretty long so I'm going to have a long wait but I guess I'm going to go through it cause at this point I'm soooo tired of chasing money and dope around. It's been rough gettin work to make a few dollars and all the money I make goes to dope...
 
funny you mention that because it took me about 3-4 weeks to get into the program and on/prescribed Subox. this was all done at MGH West End Clinic - great people, great program, but I NEVER understood the wait time to get into these program or to get these prescriptions. if you see a private Dr. you can get your script ASAP... but it also cost you a lot more $$. we're talking 500-1000 and sometimes then some to get through. they also just through you the Subox and dont monitor so you have to be ready to do it yourself.

I asked my Dr. on visit 2 why this is taking so long because I am TRYING to stop but I CANT because I am getting sick and there is no way I can just wait all this time till I am selected for the program. He explained to me that a lot of people TRY to get in the program w/ no intention of sobriety and will attempt to get scripts just to flip/sell on the streets, thats why they want these people to keep coming back to show the dedication to getting clean and doing the right thing.. kinda whacky if you ask me but I can see where they are coming from.

RaZkaL - where are you coming from? NOTHING else in your area? sometime those addicts who live so close to HELP dont realize how lucky they are. I live 10 mins outside of Boston and also there is help right in my city as well but I choose to go to Boston because I heard it was a great program. So to everyone out there who drives/walks/takes the bus/train only 10 minutes to get to their meetings or recovery, realize how lucky you you are.
 
Hey BrownTown...I live in Springfield so there's a few options available here; there's the Providence Hospital detox and methadone maintinence which is the one I'm joining, Habit Management which is a methadone clinic but they're a private entity I guess they're not affiliated with any of the hospital systems. I went there a while back but I quit them. Also there's like 3 or 4 suboxone clinics nearby but I chose methadone because I probably would sell or trade my scripts for dope so I didn't go that route. Been on MMT a couple of times in the past so I know what to expect and actually i did well the last time i was on it...had 6 take-home bottles so I only had to go once a week. I was in negotiations with my counselor to up it to 13 bottles but unfortunately I screwed it up by using and then I got hit with a urine and knew I was going to lose them so I quit...pretty stupid of me but then again doin dope is stupid too. Been doing it sooo long it's been in my life since I was 18 and it's so hard to change but I have to keep trying right?
 
^That's funny that there's a place called "Habit Management", kind of an oxymoron, but I guess it's honesty in advertising. going on methadone or sub "manages" your habit!
 
yeah it's pretty much straightforward...was a client there for a few months but I quit cause they gave me a counselor who was more interested in preaching the bible more than attending to his clients needs. Heard he was fired soon after...I like Providence Hospital better anyways I already know most of the nurses there cause I've been there many times before. Now I'm on the methadone and they're upping the dose every three days so now i'm on 25mgs which is not much so I'm still using till I get to around 60 or 70 mgs which will be the right amount to keep me from being sick and not having the cravings. so far so good....
 
^ damn man only 25mgs? The clinic I went to starts everyone at 30 and will up it 5-10 mg a few times in the first week till you see the dr again. I paid cash so they they were not as strict as the people with Medicare or state grants. I quit going after a year and then went back again a few years after that and because I was on file they started me out at 50 mgs and jumped me to 70 or 80 within a few days. After that I had to see the doc and I don't remember exact times or doses but I was over 100 mg in about a week.
 
yeah well I wasn't using too much when I started and I told them so they started me @ 20mgs which is like nuthin; I'm still getting the runny nose, sneezing and the runs so after I come back from the clinic I'm at my gurl'z house coppin 3 or 4 bags... The cravings are still there and I told them straight out I was still going to be using till I get to a decent dose like 60 or 70mgs, which at this rate won't be for a few months. I'm going to have to tell them to jump me up a lot quicker...and the commute isn't helping much!! I have to take two buses to get to the clinic cause the other one which is closer isn't taking any new clients for a while cause they have a shortage of counselors so the waiting period is long...don't know if i'm going to be able to do this every day...grrrrrr:!
 
^ hang in there you are taking a step in the right direction. Another thing that bothered me about methadone clinics is that I could be on 50mg and someone else could be at 200mg and we pay the same amount. For a while it gave me that fuck you attitude gimme more medicine because I'm paying the same price as him. But that mentality is unhealthy.
 
Welderman said:
^ hang in there you are taking a step in the right direction. Another thing that bothered me about methadone clinics is that I could be on 50mg and someone else could be at 200mg and we pay the same amount. For a while it gave me that fuck you attitude gimme more medicine because I'm paying the same price as him. But that mentality is unhealthy.
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Yeah if you can avoid being on a super high dose of methadone.. unless you really really need it.. you're going to be much much better off.
 
There is absolutly no good or any H in High Point, or Greensboro NC, I stayed with a friend once there it was dry, so all these kids are trying to break down any pill to get high, so its sad. If I was still in the game an brought some decent H Id be rich in a week.

I'm just wondering why There 2 piticular cities are like this, and they probaly here will never even ligalize medical weed. Backwards. Glad I dont live there my friend has to drive 2 hours and then find something. I guess I think this way when I'm broke. Living in SanFran, Cali I never would have that probem. I am talking about making some real freakN money here.
 
I guess MA is the place to be on this thread.....sometimes like in the good O'l days a nice warm shot of H is all I want and I'm not even useing anymore. Just a oxy now and then. Nothing good here and im not evern from this weird state. Wish I could order H like pizza heeeeheeee . We would all be lying if we did'nt want to do a little of this or that!

Peace
 
RaZkaL86 said:
I probably would sell or trade my scripts for dope so I didn't go that route. Been on MMT a couple of times in the past so I know what to expect and actually i did well the last time i was on it...had 6 take-home bottles so I only had to go once a week. I was in negotiations with my counselor to up it to 13 bottles but unfortunately I screwed it up by using and then I got hit with a urine and knew I was going to lose them so I quit...pretty stupid of me but then again doin dope is stupid too. Been doing it sooo long it's been in my life since I was 18 and it's so hard to change but I have to keep trying right?
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Most Subox clinics only starting you off on a low dose; well, not low dose but let's say you are starting at 8 or 16MG/day. they would only subscribe 8 or 16 pills, this way selling not the greatest option but yea, still an option. until youre showing true sobriety and passing those urines, ITS THEN YOU GET THOSE BIG BOTTLES!
 
Question to all the meth peeps: why did you choose meth over Subox? I never went down the meth road to get high but showing up daily at the clinic, taking a dose that you actually "feel" it seems, so are you truly trying to stay sober/get sober, or just using the Done to trade in for dope on a less expensive way. no way 200MG of Done not going to get you jammed/high for the day (someone said that's their dosage). I was doing 2-3 grams a day and I feel 200MG of Done daily to help from sickness is too much. but that's just truly if you are trying to get off the dope and "better" but not stay where you at but for cheaper price?

I don't know.. at this point my Subox is treating me great, no cravings, no use of any "substance", although, I still smoke weed to sleep, but that's not a drug anyway, ha. but anyway, just using this Subox for the last month+ has made me shocked why people would even go down the Methadone road. Subox so much easier and better results of REAL LIFE from what I've seen many times and know quite well myself.
 
I briefly popped on 'done once and got right off it because it really is more enjoyable (well, it's also a ridiculous hassle in our lone clinic). I understand the effect wears thin, but still I always found it recreational. I also don't think I'd have a very good time kicking it as opposed to sub.

Currently back on the sub clinic in holyoke. "Don't go left" everyone would joke in detox, referring to the road going right into the hot zone. I gotta drive my ass all the way out from the NY border once a week, it blows. Still at least I could get on the clinic and it's way more lenient than the local. Unfortunately, it's too easy to take a short detour to the streets to obtain a little bit of fun - since I'm out there anyhow.
 
Well the "done" clinic lasted all of a week...the commute every day from Spfld is a bitch!! had to get up @ 5:00am just to catch the 5:55 bus to down town then transfer to the P-20 bus to Holyoke and the only buses that leave you right at the clinic are the 6:30, 7:00 and 7:30 trips...the rest you have to get off before the bus takes a left towards the Holyoke Mall and you have to walk about a quarter mile to get to the clinic then the place is jammed packed so you have to wait a while til you get dosed then the trip back ----the quarter mile walk to the bus stop then a half-hour ride to Spfld then the 25 min ride to my house. Too much for me...think I'll check on getting on the suboxone...the clinic is right in downtown and from what I hear you get a week's supply so there's not much commuting. Not trying to make excuses, just thinking that it's going to start getting colder and colder so I'm trying to limit the travel involved....whom am I kidding; I just still haven't lost the love of dope....:)
 
i can totally see why you wouldn't go to that done clinic, excuses or not. the easier, the better. sure, they say you must be willing to do anything/all if you truly want to get clean.. well, taking a 10 min walk rather than a 2 hour ride to get clean sure makes me want to get clean much more.

i am actually wrapping up my out patient program tomorrow. from there ill go to a once a week -- probably a 6-8PM sub program -- that is run at MGH. I live about 15 mins outside of MGH, right in the Revere area, so it's never bad; just hate paying $10/day to park. its funny cuz I say I hate paying 10/day to park but spending $200/day to blast dope never really got to me. its funny once you start to go down that clean road how you look at money/moments differently.

I am reaching that point in early recovery where they say I hit a spot where I feel lost, and kinda out of place. well guess what? I feel absolutely fine and still VERY, VERY positive that I will be clean. I am not even sure where to get dope anymore, never mind actually go out and buy and do what I once did. I am truly amazed how much I have changed over the past 3 months. let's just HOPE (although I am cocky about it and they say thats not good either) that I will continue to stay sober and do well.

fingers crossed, right?
 
Hey man, keep it up...I know what u mean by feeling lost when u get clean; it happens to me all the time, guess that's why I have so much trouble staying clean.I've been doin it so long when I stop I don't know what to do with myself, not to mention i live with my older brother who's also an addict so when i'm around him I automatically start wondering if he's holding and I can tell right away when he's stoned. He acts a certain way; either he gets obnoxious or he starts acting like a litle kid...If I would get totally serious about getting clean i would have to drastically alter my life just to avoid the dope. I have my gurl whom i cop from all the time cause she has the lowest prices, and then there's the guy down the street just a couple of houses from mine who's a lot more convenient but he charges more for the same stuff(same stamp). If I didn't know where to go it would be a whole lot easier to stop...it's bad when I'm considering violating my probation just to be away from it for a while!! It's only 90 days I have suspended over my head and the terms of my probation are really not bad at all. Have to go to community service once a month for a year, have to pay $50 by my next probation visit which is in Dec...I see my P.O. once every three months, and the 90 day suspended sentence. I'm sure if I did go to jail it would only be for about a month cause of overcrowding I would probably get paroled early since it's a non-violent crime and I don't have much of a record...
 
hun, you take that jail thing way too easy. trust me, no matter where you go, its always better be out. i've been before, due to drugs, and i dont want to go back. whether its 30 days or 360 days; i dont want neither. seems you are still early on in the dope.. step away now if you can. i just read a few of your other posts and your not a shooter either... this is your time to step away/stop. regardless of the situation, try your best to get into this subox gig or if possible STOP!

also try your best not to fuck w/ the courts/PO. been there, done that, as well. only a pain in the fucking ass, trust me. things only get worse the more you fucked up and let things "go". trust me, over the last 30 years i've hit 10 different rock bottoms; but this last go round which was an OD due to a speedballl blast w/ xanny as well. this one changed me and woke me up. i truly thought i killed myself w/ this one and im glad, cuz its changed me completely. and of course, the subox helps as well.
 
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