the lounge discussion v. september 2016

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Bomboclat said:
Actually I was throwing her absolutely pathetic excuse for content right back in her face. But this isnt the thread for that, and I removed my comment to continue trying to have a real conversation here.
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Now Bombo thinks he can talk about what is considered quality content and what it is not. Wow, you really think you're apart of some elite class, don't ya?
 
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I know that you have done nothing to contribute to this conversation besides rant about why its unfair you've caught a few bans and dont get along with other lounge members.

Id like to see other senior staff chime in on this matter and keep the conversation going.
 
after being informed of this discussion and asked to chime in with my personal opinion/whatever constructive input i may be able to add? ill do so properly once my work day and responsibilities are done. as for the "john and kytn shut down the lounge" hyperbole, while its typical of loungers to be unaccountable for and view their own behaviours on the board how about we all take a step back and really think about alot of the things that have been said and done on the board in the past 12 months while the lounge has been private and in lieu of the blua (something that we all agreed to adhere by when signing up as a member of the site) and lounge guidelines how well we've all individually followed those and THEN answer why administration and senior staff have had to review and make decisions/efforts to clean the shit up. i personally welcome a friendlier, open to everybody on the site lounge with a united staff team and large member base. if you honestly thought the lounge could progress being only welcome to a dozen or so people and that anyone outside of the social "clique" be bullied out of comfortably participating forever, you're going to be very disappointed. the lounge is a community forum intended for the entire community and the rules are not dictated by one moderator who sets a poor example of whats acceptable and not. if your self appointed leader is kindred to break the rules and you mindlessly follow suit, as is proven, you will be the casualty. i look forward to greater community participation, involvement and the lounge as we knew it and loved it return to the site.

...kytnism...:|
 
Bomboclat said:
I know that you have done nothing to contribute to this conversation besides rant about why its unfair you've caught a few bans and dont get along with other lounge members.

Id like to see other senior staff chime in on this matter and keep the conversation going.
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I didn't rant about how unfair it was as you can see I said it was justified. I was just referring to a past example about a statement I made awhile ago. Are you feeling alright Bombo? You're not reading things right.... but hey, that's an everyday thing nowadays.

Cease fire will now be respected.
 
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America is a race melting pot, so is the world.

We all are different in unique and beautiful ways and should see the good and ignore the bad.

Imagine what this place could be like with a return to the PLUR which was alive and flourishing in my life long before Bluelight and no I am not different them people who are jackasses cuz I did it too, doesn't mean I should and even will anymore. I log on here sometimes, look at the shit talking and just log off so when I went awol for months that was half the reason why.

We have people that are of all races, different sexual orrientations, different class roots, different struggles and I think we can all agree it is better when the jokes and not mean, just witty.

I remember Jigga pointing out the difference between shit talking and banter. Jigga is one of my favorite people here and we talk shit to one another but the thing is we actually like each other. I remember growing up and the only people that talked shit to you were your friends and you only did that around friends.

So can we let go of what divides us? I think we all have alot more in common than we have in difference and our differences shouldn't tear us apart. I don't care what your race is, where you came from, what you fancy sexually, I just don't like people who are genuinely fucking nasty.

I get on here for the love, where is the love? I am offering my respect to anyone willing to respect others on here. I made the squash the beef threads and they helped me and SF would things out for example and I am using her as an example cuz she is one of my favorite people if for nothing else I admire her work ethic and attitude in life.

It took us talking on TC and actually looking at one another as a human being for that to happen.

The irony is I think if the vast majority was to meet most people from here just irl, not thru here but just anywhere, pub, work, or on the street they would probably be friends.

I met a BL'r not from BL and trust me I would not like her from her posts in the past but she is an amazing person irl.

Not the first BL'r I crossed paths with, but the one I didn't know was a member until we were a bit more than just good friends. So that is an excellent exmaple and yeah she was everything I was jealous of in terms of what I thought was being better off but her struggles were just the same as mine and she is one of the nicest people you could ever meet, but trust me from her posts you would not think much of her.

So that being said we are people cut from the same cloth and taking it for granted and for what? Seriously what so we call each other retards and return with fat motherfucker? I don't want that, but some people do. If you talk shit about me and we are friends I laugh, believe me I laugh but if I see you trying to be cruel to anyone not just me I lose respect.

I think this site and thread needs to be a bit less serious and less judgemental. I love you all if for nothing else but for just simply being a human being. I can respect 90% and up of you all for just being an awesome person. I can unify with anyone that doesn't look for divides. I can make peace with anyone not gunning for war.

So lets give each other a bit of respect to start with so this dialogue leads to something constructive. I shared a rather personal experience with a rather beautiful soul I met who turned out to be a long term poster on here, like almost a decade and had no clue for a long time until she told me and I was thinking "Wow what a beautiful small world" and this woman is still my friend irl and I met her irl and not from here just to make it clear.

So I met a BL'r who I probably wouldn't like from thier posts and it turned out she was one of the coolest people I ever had the pleasure of meeting.
 
kytnism said:
after being informed of this discussion and asked to chime in with my personal opinion/whatever constructive input i may be able to add? ill do so properly once my work day and responsibilities are done. as for the "john and kytn shut down the lounge" hyperbole, while its typical of loungers to be unaccountable for and view their own behaviours on the board how about we all take a step back and really think about alot of the things that have been said and done on the board in the past 12 months while the lounge has been private and in lieu of the blua (something that we all agreed to adhere by when signing up as a member of the site) and lounge guidelines how well we've all individually followed those and THEN answer why administration and senior staff have had to review and make decisions/efforts to clean the shit up. i personally welcome a friendlier, open to everybody on the site lounge with a united staff team and large member base. if you honestly thought the lounge could progress being only welcome to a dozen or so people and that anyone outside of the social "clique" be bullied out of comfortably participating forever, you're going to be very disappointed. the lounge is a community forum intended for the entire community and the rules are not dictated by one moderator who sets a poor example of whats acceptable and not. if your self appointed leader is kindred to break the rules and you mindlessly follow suit, as is proven, you will be the casualty. i look forward to greater community participation, involvement and the lounge as we knew it and loved it return to the site.

...kytnism...:|
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Well said, I couldn't agree more esp. with the bolded parts. I said it differently, but we're on the same page here.
 
absolutely. I was going to come here and post similar accolades. kyt is spot on about what we'd ought to be. too much discussion goes on about what we'd ought not to be, say, or do, but it's just as or really more important to think about and discuss what we should be which is a community; a place for members of the larger community to sit down and shoot the shit, rather than a sort of place of its own which just happens to be hosted on the same server as Bluelight.

that's not what TL is right now. if a certain group of friends wants to hang out themselves there's plenty of venues from that from TC to the phpbb "clubhouse" I've repeatedly offered to host on my own server space at my own expense. but on our own site we should be something different reflecting our whole community not just a certain subset thereof.

Pretty much every online forum has a general social off-topic type of board and we deserve one too but the lounge has drifted away from that in a number of ways which is why we form is needed. What exactly the particulars of that reform are going to be are not yet entirely decided even among senior staff. But changes will be made. It is not one particular thing. It's not racism or homophobia per se it's not even making fun of our dead and all the other stuff that was the last straw in a certain way.

There are certain pathologies in this community that don't help the creation of a community which is what we are trying to do in it running a forum in the first place. So change is going to happen I would suggest that you guys not use this thread as a place to make jokes personal attacks or general butthurt but as to actually make constructive suggestions because believe it or not we as senior staff and administration are completely open to your ideas and we have not already decided what we wish to do some of the things remain an open question and believe it or not again you do have input.
 
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thanks to those - blue_phlame, bomboclat, redleader (hey stranger!) and others - who have provided well-considered feedback focused on the issues, rather than the usual, tired personal attacks. it's much appreciated.

alasdair
 
I think this could be a chance for us to improve on things and well it was like I was told from day one, the site is what we make of it.

Kytn is right about the lounge supposed to be a place everyone can post and just chill out and talk.

I think personal attacks are getting a bit heavy. I am guilty of fighting fire with fire, but I want that to change so I do hold myself accountable for some things. I apologize about my shit posts about my not long ago rather ignorant lifestyle and fucking gloating about it of all things when it is something I just so want behind me.

This last year has been a rough one for BL imho and as far as myself, I was way up my own ass because of personal problems.

That being said the level of immature and unfunny jokes is not good. I just hope we can find a better way if we want this community so I suppose some rules need to tightened and others laxed. There should be some new ones and maybe some old ways ditched.

I don't have much in a say other than I want the place to be better and will play my part and to the best of my ability I will try to make the place better and not talk about the change but be it and I hope we can get eveyone else to be that way.

So people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. I hope we all see why now.

Enough is enough. The states is in turmoil and we have lost people on here and irl. This is a HR site and we shouldn't disrespect the dead or addicted because lets face it, at one point everyone here was rather strung out, so do we want this to be a place of love or piss & vinegar.

The choices of each of our own actions affects the community as a whole. I have been going through quite alot and been keeping it to myself. I had a bad injury and and am waiting the results. I almost died again. I had put down some of my bad habits and it is a struggle and I went back from being a drug abuser to a drug user, from being a broken man to one filled with hope.

I don't expect a pass for my actions anywhere but I do think it is time that we all hold ourselves accountable to ourselves and really take five minutes at the very minimum to think about how we got here, not point fingers and to just move forwards. So sadly the people that volunteer here are the ones doing some hard work now and I hope everyone has some patience because I would say 4/5 people on staff (bare minimum) are some of the most selfless people and are working very hard here to maintain this place and if a reality check is in order, so be it.

That being said I do think we should have system to remove people who are not pulling their weight, just as I was pulled off staff, I wasn't doing my job and I was being a fucking tool. I think at the very least some people should be honest with themselves as to why they are volunteering here.

Alladin, I think you are awesome and I thank you for your service and dedication to this community. There are so many people here that I appreciate I could not name them all without leaving some off. Alasdairm I find your name hard to type and therefore just call you Alladin, I am not trying to be a dick, it is an abbreviation.

So I said all I have to say here. I know it is not a democracy and I do not think it should be, I am neutral on that front, I just know the people with the purest intentions to be the ones making the toughest choices and all I can suggest to staff is to think about who brings the most to the table.

I didn't bring much of anything after my life went to shit so I wasn't even mad about losing my title, I just wanted to help in the first place and somewhere lost my way. So lets forgive people if we want forgiveness, respect if we want respect, kindness if we want kindness and please draw a clear line between joking between friends and downright malicious posts that are meant to be hurtful and not funny.

This website is a good thing and more than a website to quite a few of us. Some people found friendship and love here irl. Some people found advice that saved their lives. Some people avoided certain death and well sometimes death happens and I don't know about the rest of BL but I have seen so many lives lost recently and that put some things into perspective for me.

Life is beautiful, both the good times and the bad times. Can we give things a go at making this a nice place for people to come and just be themselves? I have more questions than answers here because sometimes I feel a question be the answer to a problem.

Anyways love the site, love the people even the seriously fucking rude people because I think somewhere down the line they lost something they won't get back. That being said maybe a "Check your drama at the door" policy?
 
alasdairm said:
thanks to those - blue_phlame, bomboclat, redleader (hey stranger!) and others - who have provided well-considered feedback focused on the issues, rather than the usual, tired personal attacks. it's much appreciated.

alasdair
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You forgot me as usual. :D
 
Way|0st said:
wait wait buttttt does this time still count as time served for droppers or dare we say the ban be extended
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I was asking myself the same thing

on the topic: I'll judge the reforms after they have taken place, unlike some hysterical sissies here
 
Blue_Phlame said:
word. this place is almost therapeutic.
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It was for me and I want to do what I can do make it that way for everyone.

This is a place with a PLUR policy and we all lost our way and a great deal of it had so much to do with trolling, disrespecting people that passed and fucking class warfare and I am not just gonna skirt around rules but actually take a look inside like we all should when it has come to this.

I think SKL is right about this being a new beginning and things could really change for the better.

This place meant so much to me when I was under intense probation as I could not afford to go out irl due to the corruption and violence in my area.

As far as stuff like personal matters, like people's sex lives, we shouldn't judge. I felt judged for being friends with prostitutes and skl is judged for frequenting them. Those are issues that are not up to us and no one really has the right to tell someone they are a POS in here as often as it happens.

I had to see some young kid being chopped to pieces for going to community college for example. I don't like to see someone drop one bad habit and have a houlier than thou attitude.

As far as what bluelight did for me, I tried to pay it back and let the team down and I am not going to drop names but we all know who has dropped the ball lately and rarely does a staff member deserve immunity or tenure in here. I know how is truly dedicated and who is full of it, so does everyone else so I really hope we don't let the site to be continued to be run by those who are least accepting of the people in the lounge.

It is a community, we don't need negativity and maybe there should be some policy on not kicking someone while they are down. Drug problems can be rough, really rough and lets not push people over the edge.

When I lost my staff slot, I completely understood. Maybe one day I will be able to contribute in that manner but right now I can't and I doubt I am in the right place mentally. I am going through quite a great deal of effort to change my life and don't need to be told "STFU DOPEM" for posting and I think it is ridiculous that someone has written a program just for that.

I don't deserve that but than again I have said things people didn't deserve, we all have. I see lil cliches form when people get their panties in a bunch together and they just talk shit about the lives of those who share anything the have going on and refuse to divulge how fucked up their life is.

I didn't want to go there with my last few statements in this post but if we are making changes, I will flat out say no one deserves that shit no matter how thick their skin is. Do you think maybe we might be harming people who read those words.

I don't take it personally as one would think but I do not like spam simply because it ruins the conversations with those I choose to talk to and makes me someone newcomers do not want to speak to because I think they feel if someone treats me that way I must deserve it. I can take it but that isn't the point, what if someone who couldn't take it hurt themselves? How would that affect things for the people who do that?

Are we not above some things that go on in the internet? This is not Facebook, myspace, or Reddit and we are all adults here. Most of us come from rather diverse and less than fortunate circumstances and have persevered into something better so don't we deserve to treat each other with a bit of respect?

I would say most of Bluelight is better than the average person so lets please have a better community than average people because we are above average here. We have all faced adversity and most of us have balls and ovaries forged out of steel.

So lets be kind to one another and see how that goes? I think the only people that have the right to talk shit that is a lil too harsh is between friends. I don't need to make public who I am closest to on here and who I barely know, who I talk to almost every day or week outside of here and who I don't.

That being said the only people that have a right to say something fucked up are the people that I am actually friends with and yeah you can be friends with someone you haven't met irl yet. I met my first two wives off the internet. I wouldn't do it now, but times were different then.

As far as the future of this community and whether it makes lives better is up to us and we are all accountable for our actions, so once again now is a time to look within.
 
My thoughts dont really matter as i have only ever made a handfull of posts in the lounge but from the outside looking in it appears to be the same ten or fifteen people trolling each other. There are some funny threads but mostly it seems like constant shit throwing.

Anyway just my 2 cents from an outsider looking in.
 
consumer said:
but from the outside looking in it appears to be the same ten or fifteen people trolling each other.
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You said it. Those on the inside think everyone on the outside is more alike, while those on the inside thing of them selves as being unique and diverse with a broad range of personalities. And visa versa. This goes for all in-groups and out-groups.

Change your mindset and throw your own metaphorical turd at a thread in the lounge sometime and see if you'll like it or not.

iDYyJ5I.png

Don't be afraid. Bring your love and respect, and maybe it'll catch on.
 
Blue_Phlame said:
You said it. Those on the inside think everyone on the outside is more alike, while those on the inside thing of them selves as being unique and diverse with a broad range of personalities. And visa versa.

Change your mindset and throw your own metaphorical turd at a thread in the lounge sometime and see if you'll like it or not.

iDYyJ5I.png

Don't be afraid. Bring your love and respect, and maybe it'll catch on.
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Maybe i will. For some reason i found a home in EADD when i am not even from there being an Aussie. Like anywhere it takes a while to get to know the posters, their sense of humour, values etc. Maybe when its reopened i will dip my toe back in the water.
 
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