the lounge discussion v. september 2016

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People trying to place all the blame on phrozen or any other small group of clique followers may want to consider how their own contributions did nothing but add fuel to the fire. This isn't the result of one guy creating a toxic environment, every single poster here played a role myself included. Phro and I squashed our beef, we cool, but when there was an issue and I voiced my grievances senior mod SKL did jack shit about it, and everyone else had a good laugh at my expense, which I am cool with now, but at the time it kind of sucked balls. Since everyone is talking about their feelings right now (lol)

I just think it's ironic now how everyone is coming together and talking about how mean and unfair phr is. Things have always been this way and the majority seemed to have never had any problem with it up until right now.
 
yeah I wasn't that much aware of it, since I never got bullied in the lounge, but recently I realized that phrozen was often very guilty of this... I mean there is a line between black humor and being completely distasteful but he (and others regularly cross the line).
 
...n u know what's going to be posted is just regurgitation of spite and mean humor. You kind of lose interest .

Just how it seems from the outside too only on a more generic scale.

Just to put my cards on the table, I've posted a little in TL now and then. Never personally had any problems with "bullying" - for the most part I actually got on okay in there - but that kinda shit was so full-on and widespread that the place always left a bad taste in my mouth because it just isn't any kinda fun to see apparently decent folk being ripped on for shit they have no control over - and, at least as bad, for shit they are trying to improve - to the extent it gets to in there.

For me, the worst of it was when the victims become the aggressors just to try to fit in with the ringleaders only to be shat on twice as much without even realising it half the time. That hierarchy of hatred thing is just plain hideous. And not even funny which makes it infinitely worse. That last is subjective but it seems TL only accepts one form of humor and it certainly ain't humour (to coin a Drip).

All forums have something akin to this but the level of conformism necessary to "succeed" in TL is just plain creepy.
 
You've got a good point there, Giraffe, in that much of this was not raised previously, but previously there was precious little venue for this stuff to be raised, so now, le déluge. And it's another one of those "undercurrents" extant in TL that's seen but unnamed, and is getting named here which is I think for good and maybe even therapeutic for some. As to your own case I will not comment but the record is there.
 
I just think it's ironic now how everyone is coming together and talking about how mean and unfair phr is. Things have always been this way and the majority seemed to have never had any problem with it up until right now.

i've been a bluelighter since 2008 and a lounger since 2010. things have not always been this way.

the only remotely similar situation i remember was when COTB was mod. and she later admitted that she mostly handed out infractions for lulz, not because of fairness. and her modstick was taken away.
 
i received a phone call at work yesterday from a bluelight moderator/good friend to check if i was ok as they were concerned. when i told them i was great and asked how they were they said "oh sweetie you haven't seen it have you?" "sorry?" "you haven't by chance checked out the reddit page have you?" "oh gosh no, im not interested in that sort of thing". they went on to tell me that axl was claiming that my body count was calculated at "2", because i apparently killed john and also the lounge? its really sad that i wasn't shocked or surprised by that statement nor even affected. the bullying that i have had to encounter this past month from loungers simply for being affiliated romantically with a senior moderator of the lounge that has now passed away is absolutely disgusting and my only saving grace throughout this period was understanding that those who are saying these things are obviously very damaged people and would never say such things to others in real life but simply having this platform only brings out the worst of their personalities. which is why change is paramount. this is not a segregated instance nor story about how when in a critical moment of ones life the lounge has utilised that for exploitation and an opportunity to stick the knife in further (see tnw and dwe's stories also). this is not productive nor social behaviour and i look forward to seeing change where this is concerned before its taken too far.

...kytnism...:|
 
you've been the one with an axe to grind, dude. as soon as you got your modstick, you made a post stating to me essentially "i've talked to a lot of loungers, and none of them like you, and i'm going to do whatever i can to ban you."

sure, everything you've done has been within the scope of the rules, but the rules apparently only exist to have a good excuse to drive away people you dislike. they certainly aren't evenly applied to everyone -- especially yourself. you've even changed rules specifically to suit yourself.

you often say, when people have an issue with you -- "look at the list of posters that don't like me -- x, y, z, a, b, d -- all people that suck." the thing is, you created a self-fulfilling prophecy. you used your powers to attack people that you don't like, and then when they complained you say "oh well they don't like me anyway."

you're a sociopath.

going back through the thread... seen phr say a few times "well all current loungers are okay with things, or else they'd leave." what about all the people that DID leave after you were put in charge?

it's not because they're sensitive special little snowflakes, its not because they can't take a good ribbing, its because you have done everything in your power to make the lounge a place they didn't want to be in anymore. you made it your own little playground.

at some point the lounge changed from a place to give people a playful ribbing, and started being a place to take out aggression. it stopped being mean funny and just started being mean.

it is a *huge* part of it. he has quite obviously made it his mission to drive away people he doesn't like. many of them being well-liked and appreciated posters.

idk how many people have asked me to start lounging again. at least a dozen, if not more. multiply that by all the other good posters that have been driven away, and it is clear to see how the quality of the lounge has gone down a lot.

and again, this is not me being unable to take a joke. this is me being harassed every time i post anywhere in the lounge, often with the harassment qualified by saying "and i'm not even trying to be funny, i seriously think you're pathetic."

tho, like phr said, we have different opinions on what "pathetic" is.

the fact that most of the senior staff aren't lounge regulars is a big part of why he's been able to get away with it for so long. when people complain about him, he can always just say "well they don't like me / they have a problem with authority," and since that conversation happens behind closed doors, the people making the complaints don't have the opportunity to present evidence that he is in fact unfairly biased against people he doesn't like.
Fact #1: I've banned, infracted, warned, and soft warned every single TL regular. Some received month+ long bans. Example: Droppers, Waylost, wao, Clyde, jiggly, cosmic
Fact #2: Every single reported post in TL, warning, and infraction is viewed not only by TL staff and senior staff, but staff on the whole site. TL content gets the highest view counts -not even close.
Fact #3: Each infraction/ban I've given to people "i don't like" led to them bitching about it in Anon. Guess how many were overturned? ZERO
Fact #4: I have no friends on senior staff, hell, I don't think any of them like me to begin with. Nobody bends things in my favor.

Are you mad because I didn't bend the rules and let whatever the hell you did slide? I don't even fucking remember what you did, for crying out loud. Oh wait, nm, you posted nude photos of gloeek from a different site. She was fucking pissed about that, by the way, iirc. #revengeporn


Look, the people above use don't like TL because of the nature of our content. We go too far.
It's pretty simple. If our content wasn't offensive, they wouldn't care how dead our forum is (shout out to all the dead forums) or the other issues everyone in here is bringing up.
The only reason TL is on anyone's radar, throughout the last, I dunno, decade is because people don't like what's going on there.

TL as you know it is over. Enjoy whatever PG-13 rated version rolls out.

Then, in half a year to year you can come back and still bitch about how I ruined TL.


-------------------

Tude, I was trying to lighten the mood with a TL-esque joke.
 
phr, when you post pictures of other users, the rule is "say something and i'll take it down."

gloeek didn't even know about me posting that for a month or two after. she didn't have to say anything, it was an instaban for me.

you definitely do hold yourself to a different set of rules than you hold everyone else to. and if people say enough about it, you change the rules to suit yourself.
 
People have voiced there opinions about phr for as long as I can remember....I dont have anything against the guy...he needs some pussy in his life or a few friends.

Skl,I've pretty much left. I post once a week maybr...I come back in hope that it's not just the same 5 users posting about how iv drug use is so much more effecient. But no IL post some thing then the same replies (dwe have u thought about banging dope on just Tuesdays )or (your dad most be proud of havING you as a son)

Funny stuff but very bland and overused
 
I made a suggestion early on in this thread and not once did a senior mod or admin address it.
that doesn't mean it wasn't read. i've read this entire thread about 6 times now to make sure i'm getting everything. 97 different people have posted in this thread and not every single person or post got a formal response.

there's an implication in your suggestion (and some of the suggestions from others too) that we're somehow required or expected to accommodate certain content. we're not. i appreciate the suggestion but it addresses the symptom not the cause and we're going to take a different approach. thanks.

...but even when things are at crisis point Longefolk cannot seem to drop the bullshit and interact with the outside world even slightly. Obviously that doesn't apply to all who consider TL to be their home forum, but the minority is so vocal as to make it extremely hard to see the signal for the noise.

On a more basic level, for me the problem has never been one of "offensiveness" - this has been a massive red herring the whole time I've been on staff - so much as it has been one of outright bullying. TL has always had a small number of ringleaders who go above and beyond in terms of giving a very strong impression of being vile human beings. Below this rung there are a couple dozen witless sycophants who are even nastier only without any of the wit - admittedly vicious beyond belief wit but wit all the same in many cases - schtick that gives those ringleaders their air of authority. Beyond these you have a layer of perfectly amiable folk who walk the line between the hardcore rattus loungensis and homo sapiens and a whole shitload of wannabees, suckups and prey who go on to make up the next incarnation of the seemingly interminable Lounge hierarchy.
thanks for that perspective.

alasdair
 
i've seen suicidal people get egged on in the lounge.

"light hearted social discussion" my ass.
 
People have voiced there opinions about phr for as long as I can remember....I dont have anything against the guy...he needs some pussy in his life or a few friends.

Skl,I've pretty much left. I post once a week maybr...I come back in hope that it's not just the same 5 users posting about how iv drug use is so much more effecient. But no IL post some thing then the same replies (dwe have u thought about banging dope on just Tuesdays )or (your dad most be proud of havING you as a son)

Funny stuff but very bland and overused

Boring, yes. In cases such as you mention, perhaps the greatest sin is being boring in addition to arguably unfunny and offensive (although the latter two are much more context dependent.) That's one adjective I can definitely apply to the Lounge recently as opposed to the Lounge when I started actively posting ago (ca. 2+ years ago) or the Lounge when I first found and posted in the place (ca. 2007-10 especially 08, but I make no claim to be a "rat/regular" then but did enjoy and sometimes get in on the fun without, I'd add, anything really ill-intentioned thrown my way.)

As for banging dope "nhrtitl" type talk mutually understood can indeed be funny but not so much if at someone else's expense in a serious point in their lives.
 
Just how it seems from the outside too only on a more generic scale.

Just to put my cards on the table, I've posted a little in TL now and then. Never personally had any problems with "bullying" - for the most part I actually got on okay in there - but that kinda shit was so full-on and widespread that the place always left a bad taste in my mouth because it just isn't any kinda fun to see apparently decent folk being ripped on for shit they have no control over - and, at least as bad, for shit they are trying to improve - to the extent it gets to in there.

For me, the worst of it was when the victims become the aggressors just to try to fit in with the ringleaders only to be shat on twice as much without even realising it half the time. That hierarchy of hatred thing is just plain hideous. And not even funny which makes it infinitely worse. That last is subjective but it seems TL only accepts one form of humor and it certainly ain't humour (to coin a Drip).

All forums have something akin to this but the level of conformism necessary to "succeed" in TL is just plain creepy.

You hit the nail on the head with people conforming to be liked only to be shitted on harder...I can name a few off the top of my head but wont.

I've had my last home forum closed ..and its not fun...I think maybe everyone needs to say one thing they are grateful for about the lounge and let's move on to a less heartless lounge
 
You hit the nail on the head with people conforming to be liked only to be shitted on harder...I can name a few off the top of my head but wont.

I've had my last home forum closed ..and its not fun...I think maybe everyone needs to say one thing they are grateful for about the lounge and let's move on to a less heartless lounge

I would be lying if I said this place has not brought out the worst in me at times, and the results have never been in my favor.

Something I"m grateful for about The Lounge?

The escape from my every day life, and the connections brought on from across the globe with people I would otherwise never get the chance to talk to
 
regarding the announcement i just made in the announcements forum: the bluelight lounge v. september 2016

please post comments and questions here.

alasdair

I never quite understood The Lounge. I learned that you have to understand that you'll be insulted and be cool with that. But for what?
The first time people get in the lounge the usual response is get the f out of here you (...).

Why do we need these sort of threads where you are a master if you can make someone feel bad and cool if you don't mind.
If you are not fit to be used for others' jokes you are no fun. And I was really amazed how people love to say die.
Or make sure you understand some people they will never be welcome.

I never got that type of humor where you grow on other's misery feelings.
Maybe there's a need to have a place to talk other unrelated things and group with people you are like.
What would be the real purpose of a thread like this?
 
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Erikmen the lounge is a sub culture of drug addicts...and regular people...its a place for misfits to come together for a little dark humor and friendly bashing..but lately it has grown into more of a cesspool of hate. Alot of people don't understand the lounge and that's what made it a ooasis for people like us. Some are sicker than others
 
One thing I'm grateful for is the lounge being a place where I know I have like minded people to shoot the shit with. To get me out my head,and go through this life together even if we are hundreds of miles away from each other.

Common ground. But lately the common ground has been less uncommon and more of a battleground.

Mike is a example of a great lounger through the thick and thin...I'd commend him if we could.

Maybe the commend system would work here..
 
thanks for the misquote, tude. if anybody would like to read what i actually wrote it's in post #410.

your disdain for me and other senior staff is no secret - damned if i do and damned if i don't.

thanks for this dwe:

I think maybe everyone needs to say one thing they are grateful for about the lounge and let's move on to a less heartless lounge

it struck a chord :)

alasdair
 
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