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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

The Joke Thread

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Can't remember where i got this from (maybe from someone here?) but i still like it!

A little rabbit is happily running through the forest when he stumbles
upon a giraffe rolling a joint. The rabbit looks at her and says, "Giraffe
my friend, why do you do this? Come with me running through the forest,
you'll see, you'll feel so much better!" The giraffe looks at him, looks
at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with the rabbit.
Then they come across an elephant doing coke, so the rabbit again says,
"Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health. Come
running with us through the pretty forest, you'll see, you'll feel so
good!" The elephant looks at them, looks at his razor, mirror and all,
then tosses them and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe.
The three animals then come across a lion about to shoot up... "Lion my
friend, why do you do this? Think about your health! ... Come running with
us through the sunny forest, you will feel so good!" The lion looks at
him, puts down his needle, and starts to beat the sh*t out of the little
rabbit.
As the giraffe and elephant watch in horror, they look at him and ask,
"Lion, why did you do this? ... He was merely trying to help us all!"
The lion answers, "That little fucker! He makes me run around the forest
like an idiot for hours every time he's on ecstasy!"
 
aim for 234 or alternatively 222

man walking through a forest, sees a 3ft tall green man sat on a toadstool with his head between his legs, so the man softly walks closer and wispers "are you a goblin?"
to which the small green man replys "no ive just got headache"
 
A Rabbit was hopping through the forest when he came upon a giraffe rolling a joint.
The Rabbit said" Giraffe please don't do drugs. Come, run with me through the forest"
The Giraffe looked up at the rabbit, then at the joint. He dropped the joint and ran off with the rabbit.

They came upon an elephant shnarfing cocaine.
The rabbit said, " Elephant, don't do drugs. Come run with us through the forest."
The elephant looked at his razor blade and mirror, tossed them away and began running with the rabbit and giraffe.

The three animals then came across a lion about to shoot up.
The rabbit said, "Lion, don't do drugs. Come run with us through the forest."
The lion looked at the rabbit and then at the needle. He put down the needle and started to beat up the rabbit.

Horrified, the giraffe and elephant asked, "Lion, why are you doing this? He was trying to help you."

The Lion answered, " This little fucker? He makes me run around the forest like a fucking idiot every time he's dropped an ecstasy pill!!"
 
EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY:

8:00 a.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9:30 a.m.Oh, boy! A car ride! My favorite!
9:40 a.m.Oh, boy! A walk! My favorite!
10:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favorite!
11:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
Noon- Oh, boy! The kids! My favorite!
1:00 p.m.Oh, boy! The yard! My favorite!
4:00 p.m.Oh, boy! To the park! My favorite!
5:00 p.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5:30 p.m.Oh, boy! Pretty Mums! My favorite!
6:00 p.m.Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Watching TV with my master! My favorite!
8:30 p.m Oh, boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!


EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY:

Day 183 of My Captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair, must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an
informant, he speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the high metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time ....
 
how mc gyver is dead ?

he fell in a deep well and he wasn't having much hair of his ass to make a cord
Click to expand...


lol, I think the wonky english makes this one even funnier!!!!

classic =D
 
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I've not seen any doctor doctor jokes so here's a few

A man goes to the doctors and says
'Doctor Doctor my dicks gone bright orange'
The doctor takes a look and says
'what have you been doing over the past couple of days'
the man replies
'Nothing doctor, i was just watching porn and eating wotsist'

A man walks into the doctors wearing nothing but see through underpants
the doctors says 'Well, i can clearly see your nuts'

Taxi!!!!
 
another (shit) joke in my wonky english :

what's the difference between a stork ? (an nothing else)





it have the two legs of the same length, especially the right one.


well, it's a joke to tell at a party when everyone is drunk.
i know it isn't even logic but tell three or four of this sort and it become seriously funny.

like : why the elephants are always in groupe ?





because the one in the center has a radio.
follow by :

why the rhinos are always in group ?



because they want to make believe the elephants that they have a radio too.

as i said you must be drunk...
 
translated joke,

a man came at the doktor , he had to clean it up himself
 
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