• 🇬🇧󠁿 🇸🇪 🇿🇦 🇮🇪 🇬🇭 🇩🇪 🇪🇺
    European & African
    Drug Discussion

    Welcome Guest!
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

The Joke Thread

Status
Not open for further replies.
LITTLE BILLY ON GETTING OLDER
Little BILLY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.
After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will
give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
Little BILLY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
"Oh?" replied the man. " Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
"No" replied Little Billy, "he minded his own fucking business!!"


LITTLE BILLY ON...PHILOSOPHY
A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?"
She calls on little BILLY.
He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."
Then little BILLY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting
off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
To which Little BILLY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking."

LITTLE BILLY ON...ENGLISH
Little BILLY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?"
BILLY says " Mas-tur-bate."
Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little BILLY, that's a mouthful."
Little BILLY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."

hehehehe!! =D
 
One for the West Country Crew - what's the definition of a Somerset virgin?








a 13 year old girl who can run faster than her brother!
 
What is the Russian assbuzzer like?

It doesn't fit in your ass and it doesn't buzz.

(Sorry Russians. I couldn't resist temptation :( )



Bill Gates looked at his penis and said: "Hmm, it's microsoft".
 
this joke is one of my alltime faves, exactly as i was told it:

why should you never wear russian underpants?




chernobyl fallout!!!






HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH
 
A man was seeing a (male) doctor and told that there was something in his ass that didn't belong there.

The doctor told the man pull his trousers off and started to feeling for his anus using a rubber glove and vaseline (of course!).

"I can't feel anything special here", said the doctor.

"No no it's deeper."

The doctor pushed his fingers deeper into the anus and said: "There is nothing here".

"Deeper oh deeper", said the man.

"Ouch, something stung in my finger!" the doctor shouted.

"Yes, it's a rose and it's for you darling!"
 
Last edited:
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name.

The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral."

She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says...

"It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."


hahaha! =D
 
Bad Joke

Why does a chicken coop have only two doors?

If it had four, it would be a chicken sedan. 8)
 
Johny Boy said:
Switzerland is a land locked country, hence no sea, so no navy I presume. It's surronded by france, germany, italy and austria.

But it was supposed to be a bad joke ;)
Click to expand...

Switzerland actually does have a navy. Lake Geneva and Lake Constance are both international border and so need to be patrolled. There are quite a few craft on each. They also have boats to patrol the rivers. They also have a merchant navy of about 20 ocean going ships. I know this because I used to be friends with a captain in the Swiss navy when I live in Switzerland. They don't have any subsmarines but they do have an underwater section (divers and driver propulsion units). Check the website at http://www.swissnavy.ch/
 
Massive big-ups to Chupucabras (for the Welsh joke), Titania (for Little Billy on Philosophy) and Impulsive State for quite a few I think but especially
"Man walks into a pub....ouch". I can't believe I haven't heard that before.

I never remember jokes.

Fastest cake in the world??

Scone.



An Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman, Welshman and a Pakistani are all drinking in a pub.
What a wonderful example of multiculturalism.
 
Oh, the Dutch tell you the east of the country has mountains. Then the admit that they may just be hills. Then you see them and it's like a hump-backed bridge....
 
Titania - that joke is so awful it is hilarious. Truly one of the worst posted so far, but fits your sense of humor perfectly :)
 
It's not insulting cause its Jared!! :)

And cause i've made him sit and listen to many bad jokes that I've found hilarious, in the past!! :)

I guess i do have an odd sense of humour...but thats what makes my life so much fun!!! =D

xxx
 
This is insulting: Jesus Christ cannot be a Swede since there are no virgins and three wise men in Sweden. :D

Any jokes about the Finns?
 
Last edited:
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top