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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

The Joke Thread - Try and make it funny, eh?

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Jennifer, a manager at a local Lidl store, had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes she found four people who were equally qualified. Jennifer decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.*

The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table,
Jennifer asked, 'What is the fastest thing you know of?'

The first man replied, 'A THOUGHT.' It just pops into your head.
There's no warning.

'That's very good!' replied Jennifer.

'And, now you sir?', she asked the second man.

'Hmmm...let me see 'A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of.'

'Excellent!' said Jennifer. 'The blink of an eye, that's a very popular cliché for speed.'

She then turned to the third man, who was contemplating his reply.

'Well, out at my dad's property, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light on the barn comes on in less than an instant. 'Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of'.

Jennifer was very impressed with the third answer and thought she had
found her man. 'It 's hard to beat the speed of light,' she said.

Turning to Wally, the fourth and final man, Jennifer posed the same
question.

Old Wally replied, 'After hearing the previous three answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHOEA.'

'WHAT !?' said Jennifer, stunned by the response.

'Oh sure', said Wally. 'You see, the other day I wasn't feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already shit myself..'

Wally is now working at a Lidl near you!
 
Treacle said:
You'll get jumped on for that. I've also heard a million variations - that one being pretty shit.
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I half expected to be honest mate. , I thought that was rather tame , to some of the racist jokes I get from work , most are just wrong. But I didn't mean to offend anyone , and thought that was rather tame ,and quite funny.
 
Strungout mate, I like you, but there is no room for racial discrimination jokes on this site, you know full well we are all about diversity here mate :)
 
Acidtek , wind your neck in son, take a good look through this thread theres loads of jokes that could be considered racist or offenensive.
I'm not racist , but sometimes find 'SOME' jokes funny, other people may or may not.
 
^^
I'll try and have a look at the whole thread later to ensure consistency, but racism is not something that will be tolerated here, regardless of where it is posted please do not use that term again.
 
strungout2010 said:
Acidtek , wind your neck in son, take a good look through this thread theres loads of jokes that could be considered racist or offenensive.
I'm not racist , but sometimes find 'SOME' jokes funny, other people may or may not.
Click to expand...

To me it's just obvious that you work in the Building trade hence the source of many of your jokes ?
 
@ atm
I just had to look back at my text msg to even remember what word/term you was referring to. I realise now !
And as out of order as it is, all I hear all day is , P-this , N-that , and you become conditioned to it.
As I say , it's not right , but becomes the norm, and is like hearing the words day and night.

It's not a apology, just a explanation , I'll leave it at that mate.
 
Testing,Testing,1,2,3

Don't worry,London will remain the same during the 2012 olympics,a shot will be fired,followed by several unicorns running away.

Racist/shit or both,i couldn't care less.

The rape jokes are 'hilarious' :\
 
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SO wind your neck in! I didn't say you are racist I said your 'really funny' joke was racist!
 
Black men prefer big, banging ghetto blasters. White men favour a more classy, sleek, silver surround sound systems. Scousers are fond of nicked car radios.

I just can't help stereo-typing people.
 
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