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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

The Joke Thread - Try and make it funny, eh?

'Tampax Pearl: Outsmart Mother Nature' Being born with a cock seems to have done the trick for me.
 
HMHB said:
What's the difference between Prince William and a Polar Bear ?

Prince William had to get married before he could eat a posh fanny. 8o
Click to expand...

Some news item about woman-eating bear that didn't make it as far as Alice Springs? Maybe I was out of it that news day, do tell!
 
How many US Congressmen does it take to change a lightbulb?


Congress never changes changes anything.
 
How many indie kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

It's an obscure number, you've probably never heard of it.
 
How many shrinks does it take to change a lightbulb?

Only one, but the lightbulb must first really want to change...
 
How many chauvanists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Change it yourself bitch! And get me another beer when you're done!
 
How many moderators does it take...

One more joke like that and you're banned! [MODS]
 
Old "Young Ones" Joke:

Neils Mum: Neil, did you make your bed?

Neil: No- I like, bought it.
 
Wolf to Li'l Red Riding Hood: Aha! Little red riding hood, I'm the wicked wolf, I'm going to eat and gobble you up!

LRRH: (Sighs) Eat eat eat gobble gobble gobble, don't you guys like, fuck anymore?
 
What do female Bluelighters do with their asshole when they wake up in the morning?



Give him some money and send him out to score.8)
 
How does a girl get rid of the cockroaches in her apartment?

She asks them for a commitment.
 
Male flight attendant is having a hard time getting one foreign passenger to buckle up for landing...

Passenger: In my country I'm a Princess, nobody tells me what to do!

Steward: In my country I'm a Queen, I outrank you -so zip it and buckle up, Bitch!
 
Two Pilots board airliner with dark glasses and white canes, in spite of the growing concern from the passengers, they duly line up on the runway and throttle up, the jet rolls faster and faster toward the end of the runway, the passengers sense disaster! They start to scream in mortal terror.... and the jet lifts off at the last second with a few feet of runway to spare... on the flight deck, one blind pilot drawls to the other, "Y'know Tim, one day they ain't gonna scream, and we're all gonna die!"
 
I spotted a fat chick giving it large on the dance floor in the club last night, so I went over.

"Fancy going for a few drinks somewhere a little quieter?" I winked.

"Oh yes, definitely," she giggled.

"Thanks," I replied. "You're making me and the lads a little sick."
 
Jesus is on the cross.... 'Peter! Peter!' he croaks... 'Yes Lord?' cries a bereft St. Peter

Jesus: 'Peter... I... I... think I can see your house from here'.
 
I went to an adult cinema yesterday, I was just settling in for a surreptitious wank when the bloke behind me said 'put it away you sick fuck!'
I just ignored him, then another geezer started abusing me, calling me a pervert, soon about four or five blokes were yelling at me angrily... I turned around and said, "You're no better than me, we're all here for the same thing!" But it was no use, they'd spoiled my mood... and when the abuse started up again "That's it!" i said "come on kids, we're leaving!"
 
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