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-The- Heroin & Opioid Mega Discussion Thread (Volumes 1+2 Merged)

I am going to a Detox Facility

Well, it's time to grow the fuck up.

I am 23, and I have been high for half of my life. Literally every day since 11 and a half. I have finally realized I cannot manage my own anxiety and depression issues. I need a clear head for therapy to take.

For the past 8 or so months I have been on an heroin/dilaudid/oxycodone/xanax/klonopin binge, and it has seriously fucked me up. I am broke. Luckily I did no one harm because I tended to drive while I was on xanax or H. I really feel like an irresponsible tool for my behavior, and I sincerely apologize to society for being such an ass.

I sort of rotated my drugs, 1 day on benzos, 1 on opiates, so I am hoping that will make withdrawals a bit less intense, but I still expect excruciating discomfort. A fellow junkie keeps telling me to go on methadone, (fuck you peter) but I don't want to stay addicted, I want to get better.

(sorry for the rant) Here's my question: Does anyone in Canada know if there are free inpatient rehabs? Or something similar? (like sober living houses, etc...) Because after detox, I am going to need some time to adjust to functioning sober. Its been a loooong time...

Thanks and <3,

Mike
 
Although I can't answer your question, I wanted to post a message of support. Committing to recovery is a fork in the road of a long, dark journey and I wish you the best of luck and the strength to pursue your recovery.
A methadone clinic may actually be a good place to seek information about detox facilities and non-opiate medications to assist you in withdrawing. In my own experience, MMT worked very well in helping me rebuild my life after 15 years of opiate dependence.
 
I hate to say it but i think the best option for me would be subutex and try to minimize using - while I can function well enough chipping inevitably i'll fall back , admittedly I'm too weak to handle what's going on right now in my life. I left suboxone outpatient when i was 22 for methadone, I still had the concept going that I'll be able to just use methadone if I get on it (i know that is not true now). I just want stability with this shit , it's stupid and ignorant to think I'm gonna be able to get away from it. I dunno, I'm really fucking down right now.
 
I'm right there with you -- I have to stop the MMT due to a long distance move to a rural area; high dose MMT suppressed cravings & kept me well at a reasonable cost (in every sense of the word). Best of all, MMT was amenable w/occassional "chipping". My husband is very hostile to the idea of my treatment w/ Suboxone and I feel ambivalent about consuming a substance containing naloxone. I love Opium & want my body open to Her.
The price of the Opium I buy has almost doubled due to the varied situations in the Middle East -- using as much I want is no longer sustainable financially. In our new location, the nearest city has an obvious entrenched heroin problem. If I move up there w/out a maintenance drug, I know that I will begin using heavily again. Suboxone treatment is not a perfect solution; until I can switch providers I will be taking a number of long Greyhound trips. I wish I could easily step out of Her embrace, however, the idea of life w/out Her is very bleak and sad.
 
^ the naloxone is practically inactive, i wouldn't worry about it......
 
Sweetsomniferum said:
Although I can't answer your question, I wanted to post a message of support. Committing to recovery is a fork in the road of a long, dark journey and I wish you the best of luck and the strength to pursue your recovery.
A methadone clinic may actually be a good place to seek information about detox facilities and non-opiate medications to assist you in withdrawing. In my own experience, MMT worked very well in helping me rebuild my life after 15 years of opiate dependence.
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Thank you very much for the kind words of support. I actually got into a detox the day I posted that question, and have been clean for 6 days now. (except for my medically supervised anti anxiety drugs) Clonodine and Gabapentin helped a lot with the acute withdrawal symptoms, and it was not as uncomfortable as I thought it would be! I am currently on a waiting list for a treatment center so I can begin to develop new routines, and I have a pretty positive outlook! I feel great and am ecstatic that my life is not being dictated by fuckin smack anymore.

To anyone still struggling with addiction, don't be afraid to try and stop. Its uncomfortable for the first few days, but it gets better as each day passes.
 
I really don't know how I did it. 21 day detox at outpatient methadone clinic and never looked back. If I could give that piece of me that got me through it to everyone of you I would gladly do it. I wish you all the best of luck and hope you can get through it the best way you can. Keep in mind you are in charge of your own destiny and you are more than what the drug is and what it makes you. HUGS!!
 
Sweetsomniferum said:
I'm right there with you -- I have to stop the MMT due to a long distance move to a rural area; high dose MMT suppressed cravings & kept me well at a reasonable cost (in every sense of the word). Best of all, MMT was amenable w/occassional "chipping". My husband is very hostile to the idea of my treatment w/ Suboxone and I feel ambivalent about consuming a substance containing naloxone. I love Opium & want my body open to Her.
The price of the Opium I buy has almost doubled due to the varied situations in the Middle East -- using as much I want is no longer sustainable financially. In our new location, the nearest city has an obvious entrenched heroin problem. If I move up there w/out a maintenance drug, I know that I will begin using heavily again. Suboxone treatment is not a perfect solution; until I can switch providers I will be taking a number of long Greyhound trips. I wish I could easily step out of Her embrace, however, the idea of life w/out Her is very bleak and sad.
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The naloxone isn't much honestly. I found if I dosed suboxone in the afternoon, the next morning I could use easily without having any probs - on the flip side if I waited till later in the day to use (after work or whatever) I still would not be jonesin too badly. The bupe is active and strong for so long -even when I'm kicking hard one or two subs will make life tolerable for a 5 day kick. I went on a weekend trip while on subs and left my script at home, i didn't even have problems honestly.
I've always prefered subutex for both being able to use the same day if i really wanted too - but more than ANYTHING , i didn't get depressed. The naloxone (unless I am missing another ingredient) makes me real depressed. Straight bupe I have no problems with at all. Tbh if i could I would stay on tramadol year round - I prefer it over suboxone and my mood is much better I assume due to the SSRI properties in it.
I haven't even seen opium since I was in highschool, but back then it was expensive... I can only imagine trying to maintain a habit with it now adays. Best of luck.
 
I last relapsed on the 21st of March, giving me now 21 days. 3 weeks doesn't sound like much... it's the most consecutive clean time I have had for over a year however. If I can keep going with this streak and stretch it out to my birthday I'll have 6 weeks. Had a bunch of triggering events in the last week but I got through them without resorting to opiates. Cheers to all those in this thread giving an honest effort to improve themselves!
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SirTophamHat said:
I last relapsed on the 21st of March, giving me now 21 days. 3 weeks doesn't sound like much... it's the most consecutive clean time I have had for over a year however. If I can keep going with this streak and stretch it out to my birthday I'll have 6 weeks. Had a bunch of triggering events in the last week but I got through them without resorting to opiates. Cheers to all those in this thread giving an honest effort to improve themselves!
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CONGRATS!!! keep up the good work.<3
 
Thank you TINK! I know the battle is not over. I just feel stronger than I have before in this fight. Glad to see you have done what you had to do too! The farther away we get from it the better it feels.
 
Thinking about starting MMT I feel like I can't quit opiates right now but I can't keep
Destroying the progress I make every three months when chipping turns to binging. I'm afraid what to tell my dad and don't know where to start. I've never been in any treatment of any kind and I think you have to have failed at impatient to even get on maintinece. Shit it wouldn't work anyways I work in so many citys so many different hours I couldn't make it to dose anyways fuck fuffffck

Does anyone have experience with how clinics would handle cases of patients who work in changing citys/hours? I'm thinking its just gonna be tough luck we can't help you :(
 
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toastedpanda said:
Thinking about starting MMT I feel like I can't quit opiates right now but I can't keep
Destroying the progress I make every three months when chipping turns to binging. I'm afraid what to tell my dad and don't know where to start. I've never been in any treatment of any kind and I think you have to have failed at impatient to even get on maintinece. Shit it wouldn't work anyways I work in so many citys so many different hours I couldn't make it to dose anyways fuck fuffffck

Does anyone have experience with how clinics would handle cases of patients who work in changing citys/hours? I'm thinking its just gonna be tough luck we can't help you :(
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Look into a suboxone doctor bro - MMT is OK once you start getting take homes ( I never did ) but it's a fucking red syrup jail otherwise. Suboxone is by far the first step in outpatient medication , if that does not work for you , then try methadone.
 
had an emotional breakdown at the pharmacy today. I had to get my first opiate rx filled today in almost 5 years of being clean. My pain management dr wants to make sure that whatever i am taking is not getting me "emotionally high" so we are trying a few in preparation for a surgery I am having in 2 weeks.

I am paralyzed with fear of taking any pain med. I have been in tears for hours now just looking at this bottle and what it could possibly mean to my life.

I feel like some how I failed, but I know I didn't. I could just cancel my surgery and forget about it. I guess I am afraid I won't be strong enough to stop once it starts again.
 
^ hey TINK, i know how you feel.....and alot of addicts come into tho situation. for us to help you can i ask you a few questions?

what type of meds? and dosage?

what type of surgery?

i wish you the best, and believe it or not if you have the right family and doc support this will not be as hard as you imagine. (if meds are needed)
 
well we are trying suboxone first at the lowest dose possible.

sinus surgery/deviated septum

and I have an absolutely WONDERFUL pain management doctor that I trust 100%. I am just scared.

we have also talked about avinza. we are trying to avoid the feeling of being "high"

ultram doesnt get me high but doesnt do anything for my pain either, so that one is out the mix.
 
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bupe is about as safe as it gets imo TINK - I really feel for you , I can't even fathom 5 years and then to have something like that happen , it's literally a nightmare , I totally can empathize with you breaking down emotionally for a bit there :(. I hope it goes well.

Do you have some one you can keep accountable too ? Someone you can let know - day to day ?
 
my little sister is going to come down for 2 weeks to take care of me. thannks guys.. i think its just i am alone and stressed and all these emotions with no one to talk to. feel like i am going insane in the membrane
 
TINK said:
my little sister is going to come down for 2 weeks to take care of me. thannks guys.. i think its just i am alone and stressed and all these emotions with no one to talk to. feel like i am going insane in the membrane
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This site is fine medicine for the "alone/stressed/ALL these emotions" part of w/drawal. It helped me get through 48 hours w/ no mdone/opiates as I transferred to Sub.
Best of luck with your plan, you already have some great luck in your sister. Telling family is excruciatingly difficult but, ideally, they'll love and support you through hard times. <3
 
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