-The- Heroin & Opioid Mega Discussion Thread (Volumes 1+2 Merged)

[drscience]

fucking relapsed. not hard though, just a point of H.

fortunately the whole copping and using experience stressed me out to the point where i don't think i ever want to again.

 

[theartofwar]

My love of heroin is reaching new levels my move and lack of money will however force me to quit. really sucks cuz I've been enjoying it quite a bit. I guess better now then a year or so from now when i have all the "problems" arise (as opposed to the minor ones such as disowned, forced to move. Worst thing, I'm losing Tristan, my dad is taking him, I am absolutely devistated by this. I cried for the first time in ages (actually was at a BL'ers house) when I was told on the phone I was losing him my puggle.... I wanted to just wanted out of life. I have just enough to make it a couple months where I'm going on RENT a lone - will see about eain n all tha jazz. Ohwell.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

My love of heroin is reaching new levels my move and lack of money will however force me to quit. really sucks cuz I've been enjoying it quite a bit. I guess better now then a year or so from now when i have all the "problems" arise (as opposed to the minor ones such as disowned, forced to move. Worst thing, I'm losing Tristan, my dad is taking him, I am absolutely devistated by this. I cried for the first time in ages (actually was at a BL'ers house) when I was told on the phone I was losing him my puggle.... I wanted to just wanted out of life. I have just enough to make it a couple months where I'm going on RENT a lone - will see about eain n all tha jazz. Ohwell.

Your pug will always love you though man! Hopefully one day you can see him again.

I can understand how that crushed you though, our pets are like true members of the family and I would be devastated to have to leave them behind.

I wouldn't stress about the dope though. This is a natural cycle a lot of us go through when struggling with addiction to heroin, and eventually you'll hate it again just as much as you did before.

I would try to work on putting off re-dosing as much as possible, and taper while you still have a decent stash, tapering with just a little left is really difficult and less likely to yield a successful taper.

I have a lot of confidence in your ability to quit again too though, which is why I wouldn't be beating yourself up about this if I were you.

 

[theartofwar]

I don't care about me dude , it's the dog that kills. Seriously. I appreciate your thoughts - I can kick no prob - it's the staying clean that well, ya just doesn't happen.

 

[TINK]

well maybe once you kick it and get clean and prove yourself, your dad will give you Tristian back. Think of it as something to motivate you to get off the drugs, get your shit together, look towards the future, get a stable living situation and go back to school or something.

Trust me if it were me and someone took my animals away, I would do what ever was in my power to get the back.

I know you can, you are strong and smart. You can do it.

 

[smackhead1337]

theartofwar wrote:

Seriously, fuck opiates. I fucking hate them, fucking hate how much I love them. It's so fucking sickening.

yeah this guy has it NAILED.

I fucking hate how much i love them!!!!!

Anyway i am 4 months clean off heroin here. the first month was pure hell coming off bupremorphine, then being on nothing... and after 2-3 months i thought i had it on lockdown.

Now i have some flu-type shit, and it keeps reminding me of the symptoms i had coming down off heroin, and my brain is like MAKE THIS BETTER BY USING AGAIN. its soo fucking annoying becuase im 4 months sober but still want to have a shot

Anyway... big ups everyone who is quitting in the same boat as me. its estimated 50 million people around the world are addicted to using heroin cocaine and other synthetic drugs (source: hxxp://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/static/in_depth/world/2000/drugs_trade/default.stm), and fuck knows how many people are recovering from heroin

keep it up guys

 

[Tk503]

I am H's bitch

I hate it. I thought I was over this part of my life. I had 5 years under my belt. I'm almost 30 and out of all those years I never felt "normal" unless I was using. I never dated guys that used, just because I felt that would be recipe for disaster. I stayed away from the life. I moved to a new state, I got a whole new set of friends. But I always needed methadone, then later suboxone to keep me going. I was so envious of those who could just go from H to nada. I feel like my body and brain has forever changed. I hope I came to the right place. MY husband now is clueless with what do with me and I really don't know either. I just can't take the pain of kicking without the aid of other synthetic opiates (methadone) or partial-agonists(subs). I want so badly to be 100% opiate free. That means ALL opiates. I seem to be able to make it to the 48 hour mark and then I become a totally different person. I will lie cheat steal my way into opiates, pref smokable H. I don't like crap up my nose, and I don't like needles (although I have have gone down that road out of desperation). This may be my first post on here, I'm not sure. I'm more of lurker than a sharer , wow according to firefox that is a word. Well if anyone has any kind words of advice they would like to share I'm around- or not, my reg guy is outta town for 2 weeks!!!! and I've been running around like the junkie I am getting either ripped off or taxed, but I try to look at the bright side, I'm not sick (atm) and not in jail (hopefully at never moment).

 

[theartofwar]

For those who have used for years ++ and now are clean - how long did it take before you felt +COMFORTABLE+ dealing with people again ? Being clean has helped an enormous amount, but areas such as dealing with people has suffered severely.

 

[PendulumAM]

I'm finally clean off of opiates and suboxene. Now all I am doing is taking 10 2mg loperamide pills a day. For me, the physical addiction was more of a trap than the mental addiction. If I abstain from getting high, I'll start to forget exactly how the euphoria feels from shooting dope/roxies. I still know that it was an intense and amazing feeling, but I'm not imagining it and craving it. The physical withdrawals were what kept me fucked even since I got hooked. I had to plan my life around finding dope when I was sick or making sure I had suboxene (which was always obtained from my ex boyfriend, I had no script). I was always a slave to one of the two. I'm in college and working, so I could never afford to be withdrawing. Since around February of 2010, I was always on heroin/other opiates or suboxene. And now I'm finally free!
Some people say that the mental WDs are worse. Not me. If there were no physical WDs, I could have been off that shit so much more easily. But no, even when I wanted to truly quit, that creeping feeling of WD in the morning kept me looking for something to make it go away.
After my ex-boyfriend got arrested and we weren't together anymore, I wasn't able to get suboxene anymore. All I had left was half of an 8mg tab. So I had to taper with that, and somehow made it last a week. But now I'm off of sub and have only the slightest physical WDs left. I think being forced to quit is probably the best way to get clean. When you honestly don't have access to anything, what other choice do you have? If I had my own suboxene script, I would still be on them.

 

[Asclepius]

^Congrats on getting clean, this is fantastic!

 

[PendulumAM]

^Congrats on getting clean, this is fantastic!

Thank you so much, it really is a huge acheivement for me since I have been constantly on either opiates (mostly heroin) and suboxene since February 2010.
I already posted these pics in the TDS pics thread, but they relate to this topic and maybe will give someone else some motivation (I put tags around them only because they are kinda big, they aren't NSFW):

NSFW:

me when I was using heroin:

me now, clean:

 

[theartofwar]

^ I'm glad that things worked out for you. Frankly No one and nothing could stop me from using. People cannot force me to stop. No money ? Rob and cop. It was only when I made myself quit and wanted a NEW life that I could. The physical part for me was nothing compared to the mental, everyday it becomes harder dealing with the PAWS. Admittedly tons of mental health issues have become transparent now and I'm forced to deal with them.
Everyone is different, after 8 years of daily opiate use, I feel utterly confused. However, I know this is the right road for me.

 

[brimz]

Thank you so much, it really is a huge acheivement for me since I have been constantly on either opiates (mostly heroin) and suboxene since February 2010.
I already posted these pics in the TDS pics thread, but they relate to this topic and maybe will give someone else some motivation (I put tags around them only because they are kinda big, they aren't NSFW):

NSFW:

me when I was using heroin:

me now, clean:

Well Done .

 

[Mystery Brew]

Wow i never thought i say this but im 3 months clean from Heroin and feeling great. Its been extremely great not having to do some shady shit to cop and its great to not be fetal position sick. Trying to banging trying despretely to nod off and forget my hell.......but guess what no amount of opiates could nod me off. 1 gram 2 gram aint nothing but just to survive. Fatal overdose for most people just gets me well.

When i was sick i wish i was high. when im high i wish i was sober. fucked up huh? When you get addicted to heroin you know what hell is. My advise is dont do it. I was that same hard head that thought i can dance around with H here and there.

7 years on opiates; 3 of those years was H. Self created hell. Feels fucking great when i was high..but i had to trade my soul. Im not saying im free from this shit. When ever i feel uncomfortable i trick my brain to think im W/D again. Every time i yawn and have tears from yawning i instantly think of W/D. An the physical part starts manifestin it self after those thoughts. Fiend starts coming

Anybody get this feeling?

 

[Treefire]

Howdy guys.

My opiate addiction is going splendidly; I have enough money to support myself. My friend and I got into it at the same time, several years ago. His estranged stepdad was a large-time heroin dealer, and we were going around looking for OC80s or 40s (we weren't addicts at this time). We found some hydromorphone, but we didn't know what the potency was so we didn't know what to pay for it. We looked up the Taimepedia Opioid Comparison Chart and noticed that while oxycodone was 1.5-2.0x stronger than IV morphine, heroin was only 2.2x stronger, and we could get 100mg bags from his stepdad for $10 each.

We tentatively made the call, went up and bought four bags. We each snorted a single bag and we were hooked.

we were up to snorting 3 bags a day when I caught him shooting. We had a huge argument that led to our neighbors coming in and telling us to stop being loud, so we calmed down and the next day I was shooting.

all throughout, we've both been working at this white-collar tech job that I got, and then hooked him up with. I know he's a lot worse off than I am because we make probably like $2000 a month and when he's banging 6 bags a day.... the money is a huge issue.

but today my boss comes up to me, and he's a pretty chill dude and my friend has been a good employee for years, but my boss comes up to me and says "man, i know you guys are hard drug users because it's pretty obvious, and i never said anything because you both showed up to work and did your work, but [friend]'s boss over in IT just told me he hasn't shown up for work for two weeks now, called in sick every day."

this surprised me; we've both called into work before when dopesick, but i didn't think he was dopesick. turns out he has been all week; he ran out of money (probably $1700-ish since july 20th) and we don't get paid till the 20th of august, meaning he has escalated his use quite a bit.

I don't know how to approach him about this. i talked to his stepdad who said that [friend] asked for a front for next paycheck, which he was declined, so I know he's definitely dopesick and out of money, but right now he's sitting on the couch across from me (he arrived home in his car around the same time i did, we work in different offices so i just assumed we got home at the same time) and he doesn't... look sick.

I don't know what to do.

it isn't like he is hurting me in any way (we're good on rent and food and stuff), so I don't know if I should do anything unless he says anything to me, but I just don't know.

e: another thing that confuses me is... this is not the behavior of a heroin addict. He watches me shoot up every day, a bag before work and a bag before bed. I have *plenty*. He would rather not admit he lost all his money than ask me for a bag, and THAT is confusing.

 

[yuhhhhh]

anyone ever dealt with bruising that lasts months? it's not like a complete vein blowout with a big bruise but just a small one basically the size of the hole i put in my arm plus what looks like bruising following the vein up my arm about an inch. it has been there since late april or early may. my other tracks are not nearly as bad as i usually hit around my elbow but this one just sticks out at the crook of my arm so bad and doesn't seem to be getting any better. it was one thing when i was high all the time but now that i've been clean a couple months i'd really like for it to go away. for instance i have started playing golf again, something i loved to do before i started using opiates, and every time i line up for a swing it's impossible for other people not to see. i can't stand the fucking sight of it to be honest.

 

[Kooter]

anyone ever dealt with bruising that lasts months? it's not like a complete vein blowout with a big bruise but just a small one basically the size of the hole i put in my arm plus what looks like bruising following the vein up my arm about an inch. it has been there since late april or early may. my other tracks are not nearly as bad as i usually hit around my elbow but this one just sticks out at the crook of my arm so bad and doesn't seem to be getting any better. it was one thing when i was high all the time but now that i've been clean a couple months i'd really like for it to go away. for instance i have started playing golf again, something i loved to do before i started using opiates, and every time i line up for a swing it's impossible for other people not to see. i can't stand the fucking sight of it to be honest.

I have bruising, train tracks and abscess scars all over my body. I don't think they will ever go away, I am learning to just live with it. Even though I have these constant reminders of what iv use has done to me, I constantly want to go get high. I know if I do it could mean my freedom, my family abandoning me and a lot of other bad shit. I don't know where I was going with this, but anyway, I doubt people will know the bruising is from iv use. It is just one of the many explanations of what the bruising could be. You can try tanning, it worked for someone I know, just don't get skin cancer.

 

[maxalfie]

I've been a heroin addict for not far off 12 years now. I use gear about 5 days every week. I still love it even though I had to give up the needle due to having no good veins left.
I do find it helps me with depression and I certainly find it easier to face the day after a nice smoke.

 

[Carl Landrover]

I've been a heroin addict for not far off 12 years now. I use gear about 5 days every week. I still love it even though I had to give up the needle due to having no good veins left.
I do find it helps me with depression and I certainly find it easier to face the day after a nice smoke.

What do you do on the other two days?

 

[Transcendence]

I wonder how many people try heroin more than a few times and don't regret it. If I get a steady supply I don't trust myself not to get carried away.

I wonder if the notion of a semi-regular and happy/successful heroin user is just a myth. Or do they exist, and we just don't hear about them because the trainwrecks are more visible?