• 🇬🇧󠁿 🇸🇪 🇿🇦 🇮🇪 🇬🇭 🇩🇪 🇪🇺
    European & African
    Drug Discussion

    Welcome Guest!
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

The EADD Sickness and Pain Thread ver Pain of the Wrist & Cock

I'm struggling to read all that properly, sorry not trying to be funny I've read some.

Seems like you understand me to a degree - and I'm sorry if I've come across as offensive in any way. I miss the way of obtaining codeine - as well as consuming it. And when I went round the many pharmacists for my EMLA cream - which didn't work anyway - it brought back memories, or more so, I encouraged those memories, then I felt the pain from my tattoo n was in recovery group. But I could not respond to anything they said as I was debating getting codeine or not. One of the members asked if I was ok. Is it normal to go blank to others talking to us when we are questioning whether to get our DOC or not??? I was talking myself into getting some. Oh I must get some.

Evey

PS. Shambles you are welcome to meet me some day lol.
 
You've not come across as offensive in any way, shape or form, Evey :)<3

I know some of what I've said may seem a bit harsh but that is not the intention - not ever the intention. If I didn't give a toss I wouldn't bother saying anything and would just let you find out for yourself. I don't want anybody to have to go through the nastier end of addiction. If I am blunt at times it's only cos I do give a shit. About you and anybody and everybody else in such a position. I am in no way meaning to belittle your experience when I say that it gets a lot worse. It gets a helluva lot worse. You are as much an addict as any of the rest of us addicts. Nothing more nothing less. You are still at a relatively early stage of addiction though and you can prevent yourself from ever having to find out for yourself how bad it can get. I count myself lucky for getting as far out as I currently have (which is by no means all the way out - not even close) without having to experience some of the things I've seen others go through. Addiction is one of those rabbit holes which really does go down and down and down and down. There are twists and turns and all kindsa exciting bits along the way but ultimately all those twists are angled downwards and all that excitement is but a blip in the grand scheme. Addiction is hell pure and simple. You may be exploring that rabbit hole in your own way along with the rest of us, we don't have to keep digging though. The light is upwards not downwards and you can only dig downwards. Don't dig, climb. Then fly.
 
That's a wonderful analogy Shambs, my problem is that I think I might find 'gold' if I dig (no pun intended) a little deeper. Although I'm now only (physically) addicted to methadone, I'm just not growing out of the desire to get fucked up any and all of the time. Unfortunately nowadays it's usually booze, but RC benzos keep rearing their ugly head and that's a match made in hell - which is where I'm currently digging to.......
 
Dentist appointment this morning. Needed an extraction I was somewhat dubious about but after looking at X-rays and mumbled explanations from Romanian dentist (nowt against Romanians dentists or otherwise but combination of heavy accent and mumbling is not ideal for explaining medical matters) I lay back and thought of England. My Blightish ruminations were rudely interrupted by having a molar gripped with pliers and yanked back and forth for several minutes at a time between spit-breaks. The fella did not want to be extracted. Took for bastard ever and he ended up drilling it in half and rocking, pulling and twisting the chunks out whilst the nurse held my head in place. Then staple-suturing up the mess he left in his wake.

He showed me the remains of the tooth to demonstrate that it really was a necessary extraction (it was - the roots were manky as fuck and all squishy which didn't look right at all (and was the specific reason it needed yanking)) and left me feeling like I'd been repeatedly punched in the face for several hours. It's a mite sore. Also kinda weird feeling with the stitches. And the big gap in my teeth. Nurse said I'd barely notice it soon enough. I suspect I'll beg to differ.
 
Eveleivibe said:
ScotchMist - I appreciate your support n advice but I am upset, n drunk at mo so can't really read your posts properly if they are long.

Not trying to be mean to you - I appreciate your help n advice but it's best kept for the morning.

Do you have any pics of hot, sesy, women?
Click to expand...

Evey's getting good at EADD =D

Pain: My toe still hurts. I debated going hospital but got told when I rang they'd only break it again and reset it. No ta. I'd need sedating and it'd be like tranquilising an elephant the amount of benzos and booze I've been on. General anaesthesia the whole way,

Wonky toe it is, then. (sad story, I broke my hand after a wall got in the way of me punching my gf (she'd smacked me and I didn't wanna hurt her. I just asssumed she didn't have solid brick inner walls (har, given the story below). It was a local job but I insisted general. Good fucking job cos they quoted me fifteen minute op and took three hours.

edit: Also it feels like someone stuck a corkscrew up my fanny. Fucking depo. Every time I fall for the 'no periods! (except constantly for the first three months, endlessly). It hurts.
 
Personally I have rather good memories of exes who got the depo thingy. I may've missed out on certain supping opportunities but it was made up for in other ways. Apparently it affects women in different ways...

Ouch on the toe (and indeed the screwy fanny) though. I suspect I'd've gone for heavy anaesthesia given the option. My toes are naturally wonky (actually unnaturally wonky - years of shoes too small for me cos they were cheaper than shoes that fitted) and they don't look too bad if you get them all at a nice angle.
 
Well doesn't shit just happen sometimes?
I had to have an Echocardiogram last wednesday the day before my 7th cycle of chemotherapy. The reason for the Echo... was because one of the drugs in my chemo regimen called Doxorubicin (Adriamycin) is known to cause heart problems due to it's high toxicity.
Turns out I'm the lucky one and it has damaged the left ventricle of my heart so it is only working at 50% of what it should be.
So just as I was getting excited about having my last chemo on 15th May & thinking I will be done with hospitals this turns up. I was too shell shocked at the time to ask any questions but I spoke on the phone to the cardiologist today.
I'm currently on a low dose of beta blocker for my heart & pills for my kidneys and the dosage will be increased over the coming weeks & months.
Apparently I am gonna have to be on medication for years if not always I was told today.
I thought my tiredness & breathlessness was down to the chemo but it turns out it is down to this heart problem.
I can't believe that I first went to hospital in December with a Dvt which led them to discovering the lymphoma and now the treatment for that has caused this problem with my heart. It's just one thing after another it seems.
The treatment for the cancer has worked brilliantly I just didn't think I would have another health problem caused by that treatment.
Shit does indeed happen. Today I could have done with some comforting gear.
 
Ack, Max, that's terrible. I know those kinda drugs are toxic as fuck but you just don't think... Hope what they helped clear counts for more than the damage they did. It's a shitty situation but perhaps it's less shitty than it would have been otherwise. Still shitty but... Ack I don't know. It's shitty either way <3
 
The drug that's damaged my heart is the main one responsible for working so well on knocking back the cancer so I guess it's just the chance we have to take.
I guess I'm lucky as never really had to go to hospitals for the first 42 years of my life so I'm just catching up on the hospital visits now.
Still I must say the hospital have been so quick to act when they have found a problem. I think I was having chemotherapy within a week or so of them discovering it and the day after the Echocardiogram they came to visit me during chemo to talk to me & gave me the medication to take home that day. So can't complain as they are certainly on the ball, no problems with waiting lists etc.
 
Don't feel too bad Maxalfie... my grandmother has 4 blocked arteries and smokes 2 packs of cigarettes a day and she seems to be fine. She is also on betablockers and what she's doing is terribly irresponsible and dangerous, yet that still doesn't change the fact that she is ok.

I hope things work out for you. Just don't dig yerself into a rut, 'tis great news you don't have cancer anymore.
 
Yeah thanks Green Taffy, I am chuffed that the chemotherapy has worked so well. It's just that I was so excited thinking I was nearly done with hospitals and then this.
I'm just a bit shocked at the moment but I'm not the type of bloke who stays down for long. No use worrying about something that has already happened.Will give me the kick up the arse I need to finally quit smoking.
Big up to SHM who has kicked the habit, no easy feat to achieve but he did it and so will I.
 
third eye squeegee said:
Fuck Max, sorry to read that - had read about you getting ready for the last round of chemo, and was hoping you'd be back to report the best possible outcome.
Don't know what to say, except that I hope you get a bit of good news one of these days soon - you're definitely someone who deserves a break.. stay positive Max <3


And Josh also - man, you have the time of it - I know a little of what you've been through, but it was a trifle compared to your situation - again, hope your luck will change soon <3
Click to expand...

Thanks Third Eye S. I will soon be back to my positive self I'm sure. Plenty of folk worse off than I am and I'm so lucky in that the chemo has worked far better than I could have hoped for. I really believe now that a positive attitude does actually help in these situations and I intend to stay positive, I'm never down for long as I'm a pretty happy go lucky kinda guy.
 
I'd say your attitude (as seen here at least) has been damnably impressive if not downright inspirational. I can't even begin to imagine what a state I'd be in if I were diagnosed with cancer at such a young age - let alone be slapped with a heart condition as a result of treatment. It surely is the lesser of two evils but that doesn't prevent the evils bit - it's a shitty hand to be dealt and no mistake. But such is life to an extent. I don't think any of us know quite what we have in store - dealing with those things whatever they may be is the measure of the wo/man as they say. I'd say you measured up mighty fine <3
 
maxalfie said:
Yeah thanks Green Taffy, I am chuffed that the chemotherapy has worked so well. It's just that I was so excited thinking I was nearly done with hospitals and then this.
I'm just a bit shocked at the moment but I'm not the type of bloke who stays down for long. No use worrying about something that has already happened.Will give me the kick up the arse I need to finally quit smoking.
Big up to SHM who has kicked the habit, no easy feat to achieve but he did it and so will I.
Click to expand...

So the chemo has worked well. It's killed off the cancer but sadly damaged the heart in the process?

Not all bad news then?
 
Lol,Raas you do make me laugh man.
Shambles thanks man, you always have a great way with words.
I just had to get it off my chest so to speak and now I shall not mention it no more.
 
third eye squeegee said:
Get yersel' an ecig Max - proper one - not the ones that look like cigs.
If you have any small desire to stop smoking, once you find the right flavour(s) for you, it's a piece of piss

Aactually, it can be more pleasurable than smoking - I was a confirmed, ain't never quitting smoker, and they were gone after a week.

My advice is keep smoking when you're getting used to the egic and just substitute it for those fags you don't really need. Get a load of samples - when you've found you're flavour, you'll find yourself reaching for it before the ciggies, and one day you'll leave the house without the fags.. Saves a packet and all.
Click to expand...

Yeah I think that is the way I am gonna do it. One of my friends has already pointed me in the right direction to get all I need so will deffo give it a go as tried patches in the past but didn't work for me so hopefully I'll have more success this way.
 
maxalfie said:
Lol,Raas you do make me laugh man.
Click to expand...

Sorry I was just trying to get my head round what was going on. Didn't mean to sound off. I guess more good has come out of the chemotherapy than bad, but still it must be a very hard thing to come to terms with, especially as the damage appears to be more perennial.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top