Well, Max's situation puts mine in perspective.....that's helpful.....I'm sorry Max, your attitude is amazing
Paaaaaiiiin in the house of Amanitadine....me and the Mrs of 6.5 years are parting ways....her instigation, but we both begrudgingly agree it's the only way forward. Too much craziness the past 6.5 years....namely my addiction issues, her getting fed up with such and being a jerk, my confidence eroding as a result....and for many years it was "true love" har har...
Never been heartbroken before...always been the breaker. I knew it would end like this, she's a decade younger, and in way better sorts, and I swore I wouldn't break her heart when we met....but ended up doing so by deliberately not doing so, and this has dragged on too long...
Sucks, we both love each other tremendously, just can't heal and move forward past our roles of "villain" and "victim"....sigh.
Oh well. I shall be in no committed relationship for a loooong time after this is all said and done. I'm finally in a good drug free state too...last ibogaine session 5 weeks ago left me well. ...still on the wretched diazepam taper, so that doesn't help!
Had a vicious craving for heroin this morning, something I haven't done in a few years, but recognized that would be a suicide spiral.
So, listening to music, trying to think present, not too far forward, and definitely not too far in the past.
Doesn't help that we still live together, and run the farm together. This is gonna be interesting. We built it from the ground up...it's mine, but I know fuck all about her projects and duties. Good thing farming season is about to blast off
Oh well
Oh, and sorry bout the tooth sham. I need one gone......but here in the states this costs a fortune...like everything else, except drugs, which are cheap and plentiful. I think I chose drugs over teeth for about a decade...only lost one, and then spent 5 years and untold amounts of money over about 5 years repairing the damage on t'others......well, time for another round! (when I'm not broke)