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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

The EADD Mental Health Support Thread II

I've got PMs going back to january. I take a copy of and delete my PMs regularly though. AFAIK there is no automatic deletion. Someone who went through a three-month phenzepam fugue can't be certain of much at all :D
 
mydrugbuddy said:
i havent got any pms older than 6 months or so, im as certain as anyone who went through a 3 month phenazepam fugue can be that i didnt delete them. They were sutomatically delted. Have you got any PMs over a year old ?
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Yup. Going on for 2 years in a couple of months for the oldest one
 
Saw my Gp 2day n got my OXy n Nitrazepam RX had a chat told him i am seeing this Psychiatrist on Monday & what i thought of him .

GP was understanding obviously he didn't bad mouth the other guy but didn't give him props either . My GP is far more experienced in Drug Addiction than this guy btw .

He was the police Doc & also the Homeless Doc going back a few years n has been dealing with addicts for yonks
 
Good luck again, brimz. Why they don't send you to a shrink that specialises in addiction and surrounding issues I don't know. Seems fucking silly, like.

I was lucky to get a guy who specialises in bipolar, so he knew his shit and at no point lectured me about drug use, as it's par for the course with BP.

Fingers crossed for you anyhow.
 
Sammy G said:
Good luck again, brimz. Why they don't send you to a shrink that specialises in addiction and surrounding issues I don't know. Seems fucking silly, like.

I was lucky to get a guy who specialises in bipolar, so he knew his shit and at no point lectured me about drug use, as it's par for the course with BP.

Fingers crossed for you anyhow.
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This guy is the shrink in charge of Addiction for the whole bloody County :\

In other news check this out for well just bad

Right so i had to see my Key worker 2day so she could get me in the right frame of mind for monday n also to photocopy DLA forms n a few other things .

Get there 10'o 'clock start reading paper whilst waiting realise it;s 10:25 ask at the desk what's going on , woman phones the other office .

Oh i'm sorry She won't be coming in today nobody passed the message on
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WTF .

If i missed an appt . n didn't phone up they would be threatening me with supervised pick up or some shit .

I would still be fukin sat there if i hadn't asked :!

Marmalade said:
Eh, good luck for Monday brimz. How long is your appointment for?
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Oh they usually 30/45 mins .
 
communication from drugs key wokers can be fuckin diabolical, its allways somebody elses responsibilty, so in the end the client turns up to the meetings only be told your worker isnt in today. Fuckin great. Thanks for letting me know like, cunts. I now allways phone them first before every appointment, i have no trust or relaiabilty that they are gonna be there. It can hit you hard when you want to see a counsellor, turn up ready to spill everything, and that get told xxxx is not in shes away for 2 weeks. Fucking gutting. The workers are actually very good, its just their communication about absences is appaling.
 
Heres a happy thought via suicide letter, far anyone out there who feels theres no point in going on <3

i’d say, read Tad Friend’s piece JUMPERS in which he seeks and finds and talks to people that jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge — and lived. And they all say the same variations this: “I instantly realized that everything in my life that I’d thought was unfixable was totally fixable—except for having just jumped.”
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http://mattfraction.com/post/63999786236/sorry-to-put-this-on-you-but-i-have-an-honest-question
 
Right Psychiatrist update.

Was a shitter of a start to the day as i had to be with My Mum @ the Hospital for 7:30am cos she is having a big operation ( which btw has gone ok n i'm going to see her in a bit :D ) Also was raining pretty hard n the place where i had to go is awkward as fuk to get 2 .

So the appt . went far better than i thought tbh . Maybe having my Keyworker present helped . It was a drug review as well n he said that he wouldn't touch my Diazepam but was a bit concerned about the 15mg a night of nitrazepam i get , well he can carry on being concerned cos he ain't the one that prescribes that !!

So really it went much better than expected . I said that we had clashed last time we met n he remembered but didn't hold it against me .
Obviously a few other things were talked about but i'm not comfortable putting them in public the people i want to know will find out .

Thaning everyone for their support in this thread, cheers folks <3
 
Good idea to take your keyworker, that should put the psych on his guard and make sure he behaves proffessionally, because it would then be 2 words against 1. Glad it went better than expected.

Ive got to see my doc soon about my meds. Im only prescribed Mirtazapine, my response is "incomplete" to that on its own so i also take modafinil that i obtain myself with it. This makes me fell happy, confident, and on the ball. I have no desire to rock the boat. I think Ill just keep quiet about the modafinil for now and say yeah the mirtaz is great, really helping me now.

If i dont say that they will refer me to a psych, who will probably want tofuck me around trying loads of different meds. I know how horrible it is switching anti depressants, i really dont want to have to do that again. Of course if the modafinil stops working, or starts causing me problems I'll go back to the docs then.
 
It was antidepressants and buprenorphine previously (which I assume is still in the mix somewhere), and now you're augmenting them with modafinil?

That's quite a polydrug-thing you've got going there. I wouldn't be surprised if your doctor suggested you try at least a couple of months of the mirtazipine alone before a psychiatrist 'fucks you around with loads of different meds'. Which isn't their ultimate aim.

No psychiatrist would even attempt diagnosis on somebody with a self-medication regime like yours just now, let alone prescribe you drug after drug. I'd expect them to want to see you stabilised on your prescribed meds alone.

Sorry if I come across as pious about this at all.
 
narh its ok, your talking sense, today is day 1 with no buprenorphine. Im taking wellbutrin/bupropion instead of modafinil today, as the W'trin seems very good for over riding most opi w/ds. Once Im over that I'm gonna try taking away the modafinil to see how i am with just the Mirt. I suspect i allready know that life will instantly change from something quite enjoyable to something that is a miserable and bitter struggle. If ive allready found what works for me, and is as simple as swallowing 1 pill a day, i dont see why i shouldnt do that. I dont mean this to sound argumentative, its just my stream of thought that came out.
 
mydrugbuddy said:
If ive allready found what works for me, and is as simple as swallowing 1 pill a day, i dont see why i shouldnt do that.
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Is it sustainable, and is it really 'working for you' though?

Obviously you're the only one who can answer those questions but from here it looks like you're forlornly searching for a pill / combination of pills that'll solve all your problems, and it just doesn't exist.
 
yes, so far, and yes. It has been a forlorn search until recently, but as everyone seems to be saying how much better i seem, then that is objective eveidence that it is working for me.

However buprenorphine is the unknown quantity here for me. I dont know how coming off that is going to affect me. I reduced to 0.25 for a few days before my final jump today.
 
mydrugbuddy said:
as everyone seems to be saying how much better i seem, that that is objective eveidence that it is working for me.
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Is it really x or y drug making that difference though, or is it laying off the benzos that's made the difference?

I'm heavily inclined toward the latter and I think you might just be rationalising yourself down a new path to chemical dependencies, but again - your call. It's an extremely familiar kind of reasoning to me though, I must say.
 
hmm yeah good points, its a shame my doctors appointment is before my appointments with my KW and counsellor. I could have talked all this through with them first before seeing the Dr. I think just for now Ill just blag the Drs appointment to get another months mirtazapine. By then i should be well over coming off buperenorphine and making inroads into reducing my benzo consumption.
 
Sounds something like a plan, at least.

And if I come across as preachy at all, remember that I did spend a good part of the last few weeks trying to kill myself with needles and smack. So a poster boy for 'recovery' I am not. Far from it. :)
 
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