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The EADD I'm Fucked Megathread v. To get drugged, or to not get drugged.
- Thread starter ponch
- Start date
Sammy G
Ex-Bluelighter
Y'know, in a parallel universe, I can imagine the collective voice of the forum uttering those exact same words to you.
Enough melodrama. There's the fucking door, right?
Goodnight.
mydrugbuddy
Bluelighter
why? because she made it possible, as i said after 6 months, i felt at that point i had nothing new in terms of self discovery to bring to the table each week, so gradually the sessions just became like a chatty social get together. I wouldnt put that under the category of self sabotage, at that point i had run dry on the new 'internal self anylysis front' but found her very good company to talk to about general stuff. Im blaming the PCC approach for making that possible, though ultimately it was my repsonsibilty to find something beneficial to talk about in the next session. That doesnt always come easy for a feckless druggie, and maybe a more stuctured approach, in which the counsellor took charge would have been better once things got to that stage.
ponch
Bluelighter
If you have that attitude then enjoy being lonely for the rest of your days. You are either friend to befriend the wrong people or not forming worthwhile relationships. The value you derive from others far outweighs any risk of 'backstabbing'
Eveleivibe
Ex-Bluelighter
Stop making excuses n take responsibility for your actions. Only you can turn things around. People can only help so much.
Right talk later, people got to read to lilvibe
Evey
Right talk later, people got to read to lilvibe
Evey
mydrugbuddy
Bluelighter
you never acknowledge your own part in these little flare ups, or take any responsibilty for them, You always twist things around so that its always the other persons fault. You seem to have an absolutely amazing lack of self awareness. Things will never improve so long as you keep doing this. So it was me who had the strop, not you? Yeah right.
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
It was nothing to do with 'not telling me what i want to hear' I fear we are never going to understand each other. In your head it just came out of the blue, with no provocation 
This isnt intended as petty jibe, its itended an observation for you to consider. But you cant take anything i say wihout flaring up. Maybe if Raas had said it you might have stopped for a second to atleast consider if there was any validity to it.
*****sighs in deep frustration*****
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mydrugbuddy
Bluelighter
Stop making excuses n take responsibility for your actions. Only you can turn things around. People can only help so much.
Right talk later, people got to read to lilvibe
Evey
***restrains himself from making a snide comeback, which would be extremely easy, but what is the point******
Sammy G
Ex-Bluelighter
Right talk later, people got to read to lilvibe
Is that some kinda poor euphemism for bringing yourself off with a pocket sex toy?
All the talk you do about LSD and MD together makes me wanna try it Hex.. defo on my list of to do's for the future
do it in one of those prague sex dens you ve been at for total glory
haha, you have no idea man, add that mdma in there and you re in heaven. just getyourself a lovely lady friend and you re all set. trust is essential though as is a bit of familiarity as things *might* get freaky...
Eveleivibe
Ex-Bluelighter
Spot on MDB.. I stopped engaging with her after several pm exchanges where I tried to be honest but sensitive and genuinely tried to help her understand how she comes across to other people
..
I gave up in frustration and just don't engage with her at all any more - if more people did the same, this place might have a better atmosphere..
I hardly post any more, and read with, mostly, a sense of exasperation...
Anyway, just wanted to say that in complete contrast to 'erself, you do seem to have a good degree of insight into where you went wrong and what you need to work on to get on the road you want, and I have no doubt you have the capacity to do it.
Take care
:D i can't remember these PMs. What i did remember was derogatory comments sbout my disability because i dared to Mention it.
As for not coming here because or me you're only cutting your nose off to spite your face. Its your decision to stay here or not. You can easily put me on ignore. Anyone can. No disrespect but it makes no odds to me if you're here or not just like it makes no odds to you if im
Here or not. Dropping in every now n then to make detogatory comments about
Me just makes you look immature not me.
That wasn't meant in a nasty way, MDB. YOU can take it as you'd like. I really felt bad for you n was trying to help you - but you're so defensive n take things the wrong way. I'm not going to tell you what you want to hear. Proper friends don't do that to each other.
Arrrgggggg i give up. Seeiously. When you want to talk to Me like an adult i'll be in PM or Facebook I'm not going to be ganged up on for trying to help.
Raas convinced me to try n forgive youn give you a second chance but seriously what is the point?
Now can we MOVE on. I dared to use a tough-love approach with someone I was concerned for. Geeze.
Evey
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100% on my bucket list; gotta try MD with LSD without sex first gotta get my doses sorted.. wouldn't wanna go in a state haha
I think I would spend 12 hours in there with women until it started wearing off lol, the girls there are really friendly and funny to talk to... I could imagine myself on LSD there tbh, but I need to stop imagining it.. I need to save money first!... need to save £6000 for damn insurance, might get a bike instead though for cheaper insurance
Caught drink driving... well I think it's around £6000.. might be more haha ( crying )
Could have been worse.. they could have found 4 pills and 3g of mushrooms on me... but I had to " hide " it while in the back of the cop car
Could have been worse.. they could have found 4 pills and 3g of mushrooms on me... but I had to " hide " it while in the back of the cop car
Eveleivibe
Ex-Bluelighter
I dont know what that means. Look this is pathetic. Can we not draw a line under this n MOVE on? I have no issues with you. Put me on ignore if you don't like me but leaving the forum is extreme. You only lose out n EADD it just seems silly. I'm willing to wave the olive branch n try to make amends with you n forget the past. There's not else i can do other than that really.
Evey
Diclaz was great for me for the same reasons, before I went to the doctors to sort stuff properly. Wasn't sure it'd be effective as I was on fairly high doses of etiz, but a bit of time spent figuring dosages out and all was well(ish). I fucking love benzos but I hate them even more
It feels good as hell when you're off them though, like, better than before you were on them somehow. For a bit anyway.I worked it out with the equivalencies to Valium with each drug, and potency-wise both worked out at 1mg etiz/diclaz = 10mg Valium, though this is just from reading BL and various other drug sites, given the lack of solid medical info on etizolam and diclazepam. Diclaz isn't as sedating or 'strong' as etiz so I was worried it maybe wouldn't be as effective. It did the job well enough til got sorted at the docs with an actual Diazepam script. So for withdrawals and in general I'd say 1mg for 1mg and taper down, but to achieve a similar effect to etiz without the concerns of withdrawing from them, I would take 10mg of Diclazepam to equal the effects of 1 - 2mg of etiz before I got heavily addicted. (not 'I would' as in 'I recommend' but that's what I'd do on the odd occasion I had the diclaz and no etiz)
Also really wanna try LSD and MDMA but I feel like I'll be waiting on that one for a while yet!
Also really wanna try LSD and MDMA but I feel like I'll be waiting on that one for a while yet!
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Eveleivibe
Ex-Bluelighter
If this etiz is legal i may try it.
Evey
Evey