That's a pretty good summation Sprout - also felt this way for the first few sessions. How often have you had it now? We lost the empathy after about 5 orders - I was convinced the vendors were cutting it or the synth had changed or summat - but I now think that is just the nature of this chemical. I'm also becoming increasingly concerned about its possible toxicity, especially when vaped. It seems to have made my eyesight worse. At first i thought it was down to the extreme pupil dilation (ive never seen my pupils so huge), but even now ive not had any for a fortnight, im still having problems focusing - though this may just be an age thing.
Have you experienced the zoning out periods where time just flies past while you just sit there in a state of tranquility - everything is calm, your heart beat is strong but steady, your breathing slow but deep?
However, I'm really interested in the post where you described it as 'evil'. What brought on this change of heart so suddenly?
I consider it evil as most stimulants are rather one-dimensional, with clear causal relationships between use and effect. On 3-FPM, I cannot make such connections. The side effects are actually brutal, but there is something that prevents me realising it.
I never appreciated the major vasoconstriction, normally it's pretty obvious through the cold sensation emanating from the my hands and feet. But I never experienced any sensation at all in them, though they were ice cold to the touch and significantly discoloured, almost as though the neuronal network was compromised.
My memory recall was seriously affected - normal obsessive traits on stimulants feel purposeful, I am aware of the repetition in my actions. On 3-FPM, I could not remember whether I had performed the initial action and thus found myself in a timeless cycle, it was impossible to form full memories, rather the process seemed to halt and reverse - I could remember the desire to act only.
The frequent notion of time becoming alien may be a result of this.
The tranquillity quickly became complete catatonia - my mind grinded to a halt and my muscles seized completely, a rather worrying effect alone, but 'coming to' gasping for air and realising I had also stopped breathing sufficiently was terrifying.
Eventually I began to experience something I can only describe as retrograde depersonalisation. I could vaguely recall some of my actions but they felt like someone else's memories. I reached a point of serious identity issues - having full on arguments with myself, out loud. The man in the mirror was not myself, but not a stranger either.
On the vision issue; I eventually couldn't see straight at all. It was like looking through a warping stained glass window with random flashes of colour and various 'artifacts'.
Clear physical stimulation is still present over 22 hours later. My balance is adversely affected.
Cardiac arrhythmia, extreme tachycardia (180bpm average) and palpitations were pretty unpleasant. Extreme tremor was not fun either. The cardiac issues became amplified soon after Tyramine consumption and thus I would not be surprised at a metabolite exhibiting MAO inhibition.
And a fun extra; I somehow managed to destroy one of my wisdom teeth. Found half of it on my bedroom cabinet earlier today. I have no recollection of it occurring, but the extreme jaw tension seems a likely cause.
