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Social The Delphic Oracle - Know Thyself: P&S Social Ampitheatre of Doom

The way I see Bluelight is the way I see the world in general--not like a spectrum with everything on the continuum from one end to the other, but as myriad spectra with myriad continua and representation for practically any given point of view on any given human experience. In short, a glorious, hideous mess that, when one backs away enough to see the whole, ceases to look like a mess and more like a beautiful intricacy, an infinity of repeating patterns that change as they interact.

More and more in life (in the U.S. anyway) people only converse or listen to people they already agree with. People seek out their "own kind" and then hunker down defensively building walls and moats around themselves and demonizing everyone on the outside. The fact that Bluelight is well-moderated to keep the excesses of hate-speech and the typical lowest common denominator of human interaction that happens when people feel they are anonymous keeps it all tenable IMO. The more we create spaces for unlikely meetings of minds, the better off we will all be in the long run.
 
ForEverAfter said:
Calling it the dark side of the internet is crazy, considering the reported amount of child-pornography online.
I don't see this as a dark forum, at all... I prefer it, in fact, to any other support service available to me.
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Go to hidden wiki, hire a hitman and then tell us that Bluelight is dark ;)
 
herbavore said:
The way I see Bluelight is the way I see the world in general--not like a spectrum with everything on the continuum from one end to the other, but as myriad spectra with myriad continua and representation for practically any given point of view on any given human experience. In short, a glorious, hideous mess that, when one backs away enough to see the whole, ceases to look like a mess and more like a beautiful intricacy, an infinity of repeating patterns that change as they interact.

More and more in life (in the U.S. anyway) people only converse or listen to people they already agree with. People seek out their "own kind" and then hunker down defensively building walls and moats around themselves and demonizing everyone on the outside. The fact that Bluelight is well-moderated to keep the excesses of hate-speech and the typical lowest common denominator of human interaction that happens when people feel they are anonymous keeps it all tenable IMO. The more we create spaces for unlikely meetings of minds, the better off we will all be in the long run.
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Beautiful post. :) Bluelight has been a huge bright thing in my life for many reasons. Most of my best friends where I live I met first and became friends with on Bluelight for years, and then we happened to live in the same town. It probably depends on where you spend your time on Bluelight as to how you perceive it. I spend most of my time in PD and I actually find it to be one of the "brighter" spots on the entirety of the Internet. Full of love and helpful people and friends.
 
The more I think about it, the more abstinence seems like a good idea.

It's just no good for your peace of mind to rely on the opposte sex for happiness, and not like it's realistic. I only belive in romantic love to some degree, anyway, and it's so unpredictable you can't really make any contracts based on it. Especially not marriage, which I think people are crazy to enter into. I get bored easily, and settling down to raise children on the basis of that is also very risky, and usually the children end up suffering for it.

I notice it's becoming more and more common for the rich/famous to enter into a form of partnership where they will marry, have children, and share their financial resources. And so appear as a married couple to the outside world, but in private be more like friends/family/business-partners who have the freedom to do what they like, and lead more or less separate lives. Or, I guess what royalty have always done, and I think this is a better solution than the traditional set-up for those who can afford it.

Much more realistic and true to human nature, for sure. And I can't see myself settling down like that no matter the circumstances. My sister has a new family and has been very happy, but I notice she's starting to look a bit tired 8 years into her relationship, and it might be they would have split up by now if it wasn't for the family (most will be bored by this point, the 7-year itch, etc.). But her youngest is only 1 1/2 so she has a long way ahead of her and I can't say I envy her.

Of course having babies is wonderful but thinking ahead it's not so easy. Most likely she'll end up living as a single mother after some time struggling to make it work and I already feel bad for her. So does anyone agree or are you just waiting for Mr./Mrs. Right?
 
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IMO you need to be able to be happy on your own without relying on the opposite sex, but that doesn't mean the best course of action is to pull a full 180 and go completely abstinent. few things can be as upsetting as a bad relationship, but few things can be as wonderful as a good relationship.

and nothing wrong with not wanting to have kids. there are too many people in the world as it is.
 
Ninae said:
The more I think about it, the more abstinence seems like a good idea.

It's just no good for your peace of mind to rely on the opposte sex for happiness, and not like it's realistic. I only belive in romantic love to some degree, anyway, and it's so unpredictable you can't really make any contracts based on it. Especially not marriage, which I think people are crazy to enter into. I get bored easily, and settling down to raise children on the basis of that is also very risky, and usually the children end up suffering for it.

I notice it's becoming more and more common for the rich/famous to enter into a form of partnership where they will marry, have children, and share their financial resources. And so appear as a married couple to the outside world, but in private be more like friends/family/business-partners who have the freedom to do what they like, and lead more or less separate lives. Or, I guess what royalty have always done, and I think this is a better solution than the traditional set-up for those who can afford it.

Much more realistic and true to human nature, for sure. And I can't see myself settling down like that no matter the circumstances. My sister has a new family and has been very happy, but I notice she's starting to look a bit tired 8 years into her relationship, and it might be they would have split up by now if it wasn't for the family (most will be bored by this point, the 7-year itch, etc.). But her youngest is only 1 1/2 so she has a long way ahead of her and I can't say I envy her.

Of course having babies is wonderful but thinking ahead it's not so easy. Most likely she'll end up living as a single mother after some time struggling to make it work and I already feel bad for her. So does anyone agree or are you just waiting for Mr./Mrs. Right?
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I'm not sure I'll ever be married again, I'm not even 100% divorced yet though we've been separated for about 2 years. I definitely had a long period (16 months) of abstinence from any sort of romantic/sexual experiences, but for the past 6/7 months I've been seeing someone. We're not even officially together (because I am not trying to be serious with someone) but the romantic/sexual relationship is great and it enriches my life. I do think a lot of people rely on the opposite sex for happiness/self-esteem but that's not something that is always a factor in relationships. However it takes being comfortable with and happy with yourself on your own before such a thing is at all possible. Most times I feel like people are just repeating patterns in relationships, things they may have learned from parents or from some sort of past trauma. Fortunately my parents have one of the best relationships I know of and get along in a very healthy way, and I've never had any traumatic experiences that would affect my relationships, so my problems in my marriage were due to the fact that we were just dysfunctional together and that she was super controlling. Took 12 years to fully realize it was toxic and damaging to both of our lives.

I don't believe in that one person for everyone stuff. There are a lot of people that could be good for you to have in your life to varying degrees. This girl I'm seeing is pretty amazing, it's all smooth sailing, positivity and support, nothing remotely negative or controlling about it. I have been getting into it cautiously and if I see any red flags I'll cut it off because it's important to respect yourself and be honest about whether something is good for you or not, but I see absolutely no reason to deprive myself of something that's pretty beautiful and great.
 
New relationships are all pretty great and smooth sailing. That's when you can still appreciate each other, before you're bored of each other, and before you've started getting on each other's neves. As long as you get along and there's nothing you dislike about each other it's pretty much as ideal as it can get and when you're busy playing out the role as your idea of the ideal male/female partner in a relationship. This honeymoon phase seems to last about 3 months - 2 years, on average, downhill from there in different ways.
 
Yeah that does generally seem to happen. I'm not sure it always does though. Personally I'm not even sure if I believe in monogamy. I think that as long as you can find people who are on the same page so you're not hurting anyone, that it should be entirely possible to have multiple partners, people you love and have relationships with, and none of them being the only thing in your life.

For me and this girl I'm seeing, we have no plans or desire to live together and get all serious, we see each other 2 times a week usually, sometimes for 2 days in a row for one of those times. I'm always happy to see her and I'm also always happy when she leaves so I can have alone time again and do things with other people. I mean we hang out with my friends too but it's different when you're not partially attached to someone else. It's really healthy to have that. In my last relationship I mentioned, she never wanted to do anything apart from each other, she'd get mad if I wanted to hang out with friends alone even if she didn't want to, so we'd stay home and never be apart. Really unhealthy IMO and IME.
 
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My sister's youngest. Wish I had lashes like that, that is rare in a blond. She really is a little angel (all babies are). When you look down at her she looks deeply into your eyes like she is in paradise. I miss that power of love that comes with childhood and how much you can do with it, but that's the magic of childhood.

I once had a boyfriend I told I thought children were superior (as they have a more spiritual consciousness) and he said he didn't think so (he meant because they are rationally or intellectually inferior). Typical of men, so wordly. Sometimes when I feel frustrated with this place I remind myself it's mostly men.

I told my sister she could register her with a model agency as she would be perfect for selling soap, etc. but she doesn't have any time for sillyness like that. I also used to get picked for stuff like that when I was a child as I had long, wavy, blond hair (the fundamentals of life for a female, let's be honest). Like how I couldn't play football to save my life, but was put on the cover of a sports journal when I was pictured shooting at the goal with another girl I remember was very cute with blinding white hair and dazzling blue eyes. But at the time I just found those things extremely embarressing and didn't know what I could have done to deserve it.
 
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I'm a man, and I also think children are superior in many ways. :) I mean adults are certainly more capable, there's no denying that. But children are perfect at just being who they are and being open and loving. I also miss being a child sometimes a lot... throughout my twenties I was often missing it so badly it hurt. But children don't have a lifetime of accumulated pain, successes, failures, and solidified conceptual framework, so to them everything is new and exciting and they are able to react to it in a purely natural human way. It's beautiful, and it's not possible to experience that fully after you grow up. You can try though, and you can keep the child inside alive as much as possible.
 
I believe you must have been very hurt by some men in your lifetime Ninae. That's too bad. :( Not all men fit into some mold, nor do all women. Nor do all people of any type.
 
That was partly meant as a joke as this place is made up by mostly males. But we both have our frustrations with the opposite sex and right now I'm just glad to be single. The modern men's/women's movements can be quite horrible and manage to make it even worse.

It's just an example of how divided we have become in all kinds of ways. Generations are divided so wisdom can't be passed on from one generation to the next, etc. Anyone who gives energy to the war between the sexes makes it worse, but they can't see it and just think they are liberating themself. There are some very negative cultural leaders spreading these ideas in a way that impresses many who can't think for themselves.
 
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You're right, Bluelight has always seemed more male then otherwise.

FWIW, I think the gender-based roles we all play to be insubstantial and dishonest. As a man, I actually reject most of the garbage that men think is expected of us. My father was a confused and dominant/excessively masculine male who used violence and intensity to convey his feelings. I always thought he was really weak, especially when he was pretending to be strong by frightening his children. He saw his only value in providing money to my family (IMO that was his only value). He left me a lot in his will; he apologised posthumously for being a "tyrant" and admitted that he had never wanted children; but "don't say (he) didn't provide"- he bequeathed a lot of assets to me and my sister, setting us nicely. If anything, I just see man as being confused and almost superfluous these days; that is, men who adopt the stereotyped provider type role.

There has to be something for us, but I don't know what...
 
I just went to see my uncle and he asked if I wasn't going to find myself a new guy and I said "No, that just goes to hell". And he said "You can find yourself a dumb one" and I said "I guess that's how you would do it" and he said "Yes, dumb and beautiful". And I said "I guess you would be the boss" and he said "That's the first commandment".

That's easy for him to say, because men just want to feel superior. I don't find that so attractive. Anyway, that's a good example of the kind of conversation I can get from men in my family, but at least I get encouragement.
 
Everyone and everything that wants I think wants to feel superior, in some way.
 
Ninae said:
That's easy for him to say, because men just want to feel superior.
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Moreso than women? I really don't get perspectives like your uncle's: after you orgasm, you're going to have to talk to the person. . .

ebola
 
From what I've seen he tends to go for quite special women in practice, or like very spiritual/charismatic women, but he's not aware of that. I think he just wants to be able to play with someone and get his way. He's not exactly intellectual, so he wouldn't be looking for that, but he tends to out-smart people in human interaction and likes it that way. So I guess it's what works for him.
 
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