The cheesiest techno songs of ALL TIME?

Digitill said:
isn't all techno cheese? real techno by definition. i know what techno is, and it all sucks to me. my opinion is that it's talentless garbage made by filtering a synth for 7 minutes. lemme add a bunch of delay to this crash for 3 minutes as a build up. is that a song? no. begin the hate!
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doesn't resemble any of the techno that i dig.

rhythim is rhythim ~ strings of life
underground resistance ~ windchime
bfc ~ evolution
choice ~ acid eiffel


dig up those four tracks and let me know what you think.
 
Digitill said:
isn't all techno cheese? real techno by definition. i know what techno is, and it all sucks to me. my opinion is that it's talentless garbage made by filtering a synth for 7 minutes. lemme add a bunch of delay to this crash for 3 minutes as a build up. is that a song? no. begin the hate!
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I refuse to bite.
 
Just play "Macarena" and burn the roof off of the MOFO!
 
phish1970 said:
rhythim is rhythim ~ strings of life
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^ I actually really like that track; throw tomato's at me as you see fit, but I always thought this was a classic :D
 
Hoss said:
^ I actually really like that track; throw tomato's at me as you see fit, but I always thought this was a classic :D
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it is a classic. check out what i said again....
 
Rated E said:
I know what Techno is.

This thread would have received about 3 replies if people were only answering with actual Techno tracks. The Techno genre doesn't really lend itself to the kind of "laughably bad cheesy" that is being asked for in this thread.

Here's an idea, pretend that the "techno" in the title of the thread says "dance" or "EDM" instead.
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Well why not just do that in the first place rather than expecting everyone to play pretend?

You can't ask people to do one thing then say you actually wanted them to do another, because you just decided to call it something else. Well you can, but that would be being a cunt.
 
lol i am sure lots of people claim to know this "techno" thing
... I ___SURE___ as fuck do!!!
 
http://www.di.fm/edmguide/#

for those who are listening to the music snobs, and being curious....check out ishkurs guide to electronic music. i was going to parties all across the eastern coast for years, nonstop and still didn't have a clue what i was listening to. i just didn't get into it, though i loved EDM. this was a big help for me when i began to try to find more music in the past few years, being out of any scenes that enabled me to be familiar with it. i finally realized goa trance was the name to what i loved.

but srsly, after looking at that, those snobs are right, you don't have a fucking clue. you can go as far back as 2live crew and even better sugar hill gang, for that be considered as EDM, so get with the program. *winkie smilie*
 
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Cheesy techno tracks

=

Umek - Lanicor (actually pretty much anything by Umek)

or

Jeff Mills - The Bells

Those tracks aren't neccesarily bad cheese, but still cheese.
 
damn, i had the best list typed up and wasn't logged in.

from memory:
anything Technotronic or Aqua.
La Bouche - Sweet Dreams, Be My Lover
4Clubbers - Children
Darude - Sandstorm
Hamster Dance
Reel 2 Real - I Like To Move It
Pet Shop Boys - Boom boom boom boom I want you in my room
Gigi D'Agostino - La Passion, You Spin Me Round
Eiffel 65 - Blue (Da Ba Dee)
Culture Beat - Mr. Vain

There's of course the more recent house tracks that are total cheese:
Crazy Frog - Axel F
Global Deejays - Sound of San Fransisco
Royal Gigolos, Benny Benassi - Caifornia Dreaming
Benny Benassi - Satisfaction


Some of these are guilty pleasures though O:) and definitely vinyls worth holding onto.
 
Rated E said:
The Milkshake Song by Kelis

My friend was in an electro club and the dj dropped that, within the last couple of weeks.
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Hey, I drop that from time to time. People love it, depending on the crowd... just gotta play the right remix of it ;).
 
not techno but...

Kenny Loggins - Footloose

techno:

Eiffel 65 - Blue
 
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