• LAVA Moderator: Shinji Ikari

the bluelight preconception, pregnancy and parenting l337ness thread

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LoveAlways what a strapping little man you got there!! :D he is gorgeous!! And so are you! That is a stunning photo of you both. :)

voxmystic - i can understand how you feel so protective after what you have been through with losing a baby. I don't think any loving parents could ever recover fully from that, you sound like an incredibly nurturing and loving mother. Its really awesome to read about :)

Busty - that is the coolest kids book ever!! Hahahaha!!!!
 
Voxmystic - I wasn't aware that you had lost a child to SIDS. *hugs* I am glad that you have found a joyful way to cope with the sadness. Your children are very lucky to have a wonderful Mom like you. <3

MDAO - wow. Just wow. So glad that the membrane was there. I know you will both make the best decision you can, and that you'll surely never be the type of doctor that talks down to anyone. Hopefully this one's bedside manner (or lack thereof) is exceeded by his competence in dealing with high-risk pregnancies. I am in full agreement with having a midwife or doula assist in handling the care. Many are experienced in C-section births, which with a high-risk pregnancy, are likely medically indicated. Being there for your wife and making the right decisions together are what will make what will be a tough road ahead a lot easier. Much love and white light is being sent all of your way. <3

LA - Happy Birthday to your little man! He certainly resembles you. Beautiful faces, hanging out in Hawaii - I can't think of a better life for a little one!

Lefty - my goodness, you've gone all Catholic on us. ;) Beautiful photos of your family. Fancee looks absolutely radiant as well. A christening/naming ceremony/whatever is a wonderful way to welcome a little one into life and community. Even we recovering Catholics are inclined to honor tradition. ;) He is beautiful and you both look so proud!

Busty - haha, that book is awesome. I'd like to read it myself!

As for me - not yet a parent, and no plans anytime soon. I have two little dudes in my life, though, aged 9 and 6. Their father is my partner in a joint venture, which became much more than that. I hung out with them on Saturday and the little one asked me if people thought I was his Mommy, in addition to other awkward questions about stepparenting. 8o I told him I was not and never would be, because he already has a Mommy. I said I would be his friend forever and that whenever I was around, he wouldn't want for any care. I don't believe in planting children in front of the television, so all four of us went to a really cool park. Both boys played ever so very well with the other children there. I commended the older on his leadership (he made the playground equipment work!!!) and the younger on his sweet nature. This is tough, as all 4 of us have ADD, and we're all children of divorce. :| The little one is especially bonded to me. He told me he didn't want me to leave until his father tucked both the brothers in, so that I could read them a bedtime story.

I read "Goodnight, Moon". Littlest dude and I had been reading earlier in the day, and older little dude and I had a talk while littlest dude and their Dad were in the mens' room stepping in unknown throw-up by accident. The older and I are not sick. The younger and his Dad are. Lesson: don't let kids step wrongly when they have on sandals!

We're all going to the beach next month. I have so much to do, but lately nothing is more important than ensuring that all of us have our bucks in the bank... it was certainly more than I expected, in all the right ways.
 
I hadn't mentioned my experience with SIDS in this thread because it's such a frightening thing for expectant parents to think about, and pregnancy is already full of so many questions and fears. It was such a pivotal event, though, and shapes so much of who I am now, especially as a mom, that it was bound to come up. I'd put the babies down more if I didn't have that constant regret for the moments that I could have spent holding and loving my baby girl, but didn't.

Mariposa, what a beautiful connection you have with your little dudes! You will be a terrific mom, if you decide to have children!
 
vox, when i read how you sleep with your little one, the first thing i felt was concern for SIDS risks. over here, there's extensive SIDS education for prospective parents. i would LOVE to share the bed with our little man, but it's one of the no-no's according to SIDS info.
 
I've read that, too, L2R. As you may imagine, I've read EVERYTHING about SIDS. Thing is, there is research to support co-sleeping as well, with a sober, attentive, breastfeeding mother. As with so many things, you can read whichever studies you agree with. In the end, I'm following my intuition. Babies cry so much less! That's gotta be right, right? And toddlers don't have nightmares, or fear the dark.....I know it's not for everyone, or maybe even most people, but it feels right to us.

Just curious....who provides the education about SIDS to prospective parents? There's gotta be a reason they only present one side of the issue.
 
vox, when i read how you sleep with your little one, the first thing i felt was concern for SIDS risks. over here, there's extensive SIDS education for prospective parents. i would LOVE to share the bed with our little man, but it's one of the no-no's according to SIDS info.

+1. Then again so is sleeping on their stomach but you sure has hell can't make them if they prefer to sleep like that.
 
^my understanding is the threat of SIDS (or "cot death" when i was young, man that name used to freak me the hell out) is greatest for the first few months, so by the time they can turn over, the risk is reduced.

Just curious....who provides the education about SIDS to prospective parents? There's gotta be a reason they only present one side of the issue.

In my case, the New South Wales Department of Health. They give the side of the story which results in the smallest chance of liability be thrown their way, so we're following it to a tee.
 
Thank you, everyone, for givin' up the luv to my baby boy! <3

Okay, I have been VERY good for a VERY long time, and have been rewarded with a beautiful, healthy child. BUT my birthday is coming up soon, and I'm at least taking a day off breastfeeding to do some celebratory drinking. My friend sent me some powdered kratom leaf, and I'd like to try some of that, too. It shouldn't take much, as I've never tried it before, and, although I've checked out a variety of opiates, it's always been very sporadic. No habit, no tolerance. I want to know how long a single threshold dose would take to clear my system so that it is safe to resume breastfeeding. I haven't been able to find this info online anywhere, but maybe I'm not looking in the right places. If any of you have clues, I'd be grateful if you'd pass them along.
 
voxy, is there any need to rush? why not wait until you're completely over breastfeeding?

my boy was 3 months old yesterday, and he got eaten by a lion
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just kidding
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on a sadder note, he won't be here for my first fathers day. :(
 
What a beautiful, bright smile!! He's the cat's meow, alright!

No urgent rush to try the kratom, just that it's my birthday, and I will have a very trusted babysitter (my oldest daughter, 21) then. I don't forsee that happening again very soon, so it would be my only opportunity to throw in a bit of a break in what will be a nearly 2-year hiatus. I can't find the pertinent info anywhere though, so, in all likelihood, I'm just gonna have to skip it. Wasn't gonna do it if it was going to take more than 3 or 4 days to clear my system, anyway. Oh, well. Still plan on knocking back some tequila, though.
 
ohmygosh l2r, that's wayyy too cute! you and ff need to make more bebes so you can create a jungle!! =D
 
L2R that's the cutest thing I've seen since Kate's daughter on Masterchef last night. Love it.
 
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