the bluelight preconception, pregnancy and parenting l337ness thread

[Conscious21]

Aww UNH the nausea sucks, I hope it gets better for you soon! I had in my head that by "morning sickness" they meant I would vomit once in the morning and then feel fine all day, but that's sooooo far from reality!

Just a little anecdote I read that relieved my anxiety a bit about not eating what I thought I should: apparently when you're pregnant your digestion slows down. That's why women often get constipated, but the good part of it is that your body also becomes more efficient at extracting nutrients from food. So you will actually absorb more vitamins from the same quantity of food. You are SO not a bad mother!

Do you have a 12 week scan coming up or not one until 18-20? That might be reassuring for you because they will measure the baby and most likely tell you that it's growing just fine and is where it should be for dates. Thinking of you in the mean time, and I hope you start to feel better soon!

 

[Jabberwocky]

Here I am with my honey at 31.5 weeks! I have loved every minute of being pregnant. I have not been nauseas once, or tired. Zero heartburn. Altogether a very blessed 1st pregnancy. We do not know the sex of our child and can't wait to be surprised. I have no feelings on whether its a boy or girl.

Due date May 28, I do have a feeling that I will go past my due date- call it a hunch. I've gained 35 lbs so far- major craving: PIZZA, vodka (weird huh?), and now sweet bakery stuff like milkshakes and cookies I consumed one glass of champagne on NYE and one glass of red wine at a wedding 3 days ago. No cigarettes. I take Benadryl every night to help sleep, occasional Tylenol for aches and pains. Went to week 22 with NO caffeiene, but finally caved. Currently drinking 2 cups coffee per day.

I'd like to stick to my birth plan if possible, but I realize that it's called a plan for a reason and things could change. I'm giving birth at a hospital, I have a great OB Dr. My bf by my side coaching me along the way. I'd like to avoid C section if possible. Bring on the drugs: I'm all for an epidural and anything else they offer if I need it! Would love to breastfeed, but I'm not sure my uber-sensitive nipples will allow me. Got a great breast pump so I can try that too.

I currently work 30 hours a week and would love to take 2 months off for maternity leave. That's about all I can afford- no paid leave at this job. Unfortunately I am unsure if I will have a job when I get back- They may replace me. I'm OK with that b/c I don't really like where I work anyway and I'm confident I can find something that offers more hours, more pay and less distance traveled after baby is born.

Visit our baby blog for updates! It's been fun journaling this pregnancy. Can't believe I only have 8 weeks left!!

ourbabyegan.sosblog.com

 

[User Name Here]

Four, upon reading through your blog I decided I too was craving pizza and ordered myself one for dinner. I have always loved pizza and I usually keep the little personal serving sizes made by California Kitchen in the freezer. They're affordable and made in under five minutes, not to mention they're really good!

I'm glad to hear your pregnancy is going well! Like I said before, I wouldn't wish my experience on my worst enemy (see below for a full-on rant).

Here's a snippet from my latest weblog entry (yes, this is somewhat of a post that includes shameless self-promotion):

This whole weight thing is becoming a common theme from post to post. Surprise, surprise: I haven’t gained any weight. I could talk about this more but I would sound like a broken record so all I’m going to say is that I’m still scared. I feel like a bad mom because I can’t keep anything down. This is the one time in my life I NEED to eat a lot and I simply can’t.

God, I hope this ends soon. Doctors say it should and if it doesn’t we’ll confront it in a few weeks. Until then all I can do is hope this passes because I am going freaking insane. Sometimes I feel like breaking down and crying because it has been over two MONTHS since I’ve felt good.

Unfortunately I haven’t gained that cute little bump that most 12-weekers start to don. I mean there’s a tiny little bump there but it’s not noticeable to anyone but myself and my husband. I know it’s a “bump” though because it doesn’t go away when I suck in (whereas before that extra padding in front of my abs could be easily concealed by sucking in, heh).

I want the cute bump, the adorable maternity clothes, the ability to say “I love being pregnant!”… Is that too much to ask? I want to hop on this train of bliss that I keep hearing pregnant women go on and on about. “Oh, I love being pregnant! I have so much more energy now that I’m through my first trimester! I threw up maybe twice early on but other than that it has been wonderful! I would do this again in a heartbeat!”

Yeah, instead I’m stuck here puking my brains out to the point of popping vessels in my eyes and bruising my thighs from grabbing onto them while retching. Instead of that supposed “glow” that women adopt while pregnant I am experiencing a second round of teenage-force acne. Instead of feeling refreshed and alert now that I’m at Trimester Two’s door I feel exhausted and want nothing more than to sleep all day, every day.

How romantic.

 

[User Name Here]

So I've gotta rant once more (damn these pregnancy hormones!). I won't be offended if people read a few lines and ignore the rest. This is me venting to feel better if anything...

Background info:

Tricare is military insurance for military personnel and their families. I had it through my step-dad who is an Admiral but it expired when I turned 23 and now I am on my husband's Tricare plan. Unfortunately he's just a "lowly" Sergeant and won't be moving up to Lieutenant until August. Anyway, back when I had it through my step-dad everything was perfect. I could choose any doctor I wanted, got great customer service, etc. and now it's COMPLETELY different. It has been a fight just to get me on his insurance and everyone I've spoken with has been a freaking idiot so far. Now, whether or not my sponsor's ranks have anything to do with this, I don't know. I hate to say it but I think it did.

Regardless of whether or not that's the case, the "care" I am receiving is totally unacceptable. I was put on his insurance at the beginning of March and told that before I could have any prenatal care, they would have to make sure I was indeed pregnant. Okay, this is stupid because I already know I'm pregnant but I guess I get it. I wait the week for the appointment, piss in their cup, and then wait another WEEK for the results. Umm, since when does it take a WEEK to get results for a pregnancy test? Correct me if I'm wrong but most doctors perform them immediately and you have the results the same day.

So obviously the results were positive and they called me on my cell phone to tell me that they would set up an appointment with a GP on the Air Force base here so he could decide who to send me to (yet another unnecessary step...). They said this would happen in seven to 10 days and what do you know? It has been over three weeks and I haven't heard a thing.

I have left three messages with this doctor's nurse in addition to calling about a dozen times. I have heard nothing from anyone. I have called three different numbers total to no avail.

How the fuck are the going to completely ignore a pregnant woman? Is it just me or is this totally unacceptable? Someone needs to get fired for this and I'm not even joking. This is past an innocent mistake on someone's part.

I don't want to pull the daddy card and get him involved but I can't think of anything else at this point. My husband wants me to call the Inspector General but I know no one will listen to some Sergeant's wife.

I've heard lots of other women complain about Tricare as well. I have a good friend from high school who wasn't even able to choose her own OBGYN. I was already told I can't choose mine either but when they found out I have epilepsy they said I could get a referral to someone who has more experience with pregnancy and seizures (by the way, hearing this REALLY pissed me off because finding an OBGYN you like is so damn important and the last thing I want is for someone to tell me who is going to deliver MY baby without asking my opinion).

Of course, I also know what it's like without health care so I'm thankful... to an extent. This is such bullshit though.

Ok, I'm done. I swear.

 

[Mariposa]

The pregnancy tests are allegedly accurate. They detect the human gonadotropic (sp?) hormone, which is present in pregnant women and not present in non-pregnant women. The dollar store has them in stock. I got a totally false reading off one (false positive, confirmed by my NP) years ago.

UNH, I'd pull the card at this point. There is no reason why you should be anything other than a happy pregnant woman. Rank or commission status should not be an issue. If it were, you'd probably be able to pay your child's college education with the proceeds from a lawsuit (not that I advocate such things). Prenatal care should be of the highest standard.

Four, you're looking great, and your partner is quite handsome!

Still not pregnant myself (no partner and I have an IUD). I have a premonition I will get pregnant at 33. It will be a boy. Let's see what happens

 

[voxmystic]

four, you look beautiful! Wish I could say the same. I've had clear skin for about 2 wks out of the last 30.....and I hate cameras right now.

Geez UNH, the insurance runaround sounds evil! Pregnant woman got by without OBs for millinia, though. In some cases (mine), we're MUCH better off without the stuck-up, scalpel-happy bastards. I'd as soon be in Hitler's care. 'Bout the same difference. But I'm sure epilepsy complicates things a bit.... Hope you get it straightened out soon.

Today I am babysitting 2 small kids, ages 2 and 3. All I can say is, having kids this close together seems INSANE!! The mess! Can't clean up after one without the other going right behind and making another mess! How their dad ever gets this place halfway clean is an utter mystery!

And, as a mom (without brothers) of only girls, I gotta say it: I think baby penises are kinda weird.

 

[User Name Here]

Thanks, Mariposa and voxy!

Mariposa, it sounds like you've got quite a bit of intuition. Now that you've put this in text you can look back on it when you really are pregnant at 33 with a boy and say, "See! I told you so!"

Voxy, the insurance stuff IS evil! I am damn near the point of breaking down and sobbing. I know part of this is hormones but the other part is undeniable: I'm getting screwed and it's making me mad. Yeah, rank should NOT matter whatsoever but I'm thinking it might have something to do with why they're no longer paying attention to me. Before it was as if I got catered to and now it's like I don't even exist. If this is really the case then I am placing a call to the Inspector General at the AFB. If no one listens to me then I will just have to have my step-dad call someone up and fortunately that seems to get things done

Just imagine if I didn't have "daddy" around though... I got a brief glimpse of life without health care and it was fucking awful. I've mentioned it several times before but my meds are well over $1,000 a month without insurance and I need them to function. Without them the chances of me dying are pretty high. I don't understand living in a first world country where people are dying because they lack health care. It seriously doesn't make sense to me. People cry "that's socialism!" but they don't seem to realize that public schools and the like are technically socialist institutions as well. I'm all for the government staying out of your business but with that being said I think health care should be available to anyone who wants it. I could go on and on about it but I'll spare BL!

Anyway, voxy, have you found anything that helped your skin? I am trying to use some acne creams/body washes/etc. to no avail and it's starting to frustrate the hell out of me. It literally makes me want to avoid going out in public... My husband says it isn't noticeable (it's mostly on my back) but I feel as if every pimple has a sign that reads "LOOK AT ME, I'M GROSS!"

Meh.

 

[Samadhi]

Four - you look amazing and it sounds like your pregnancy has been an absolute delight! You're very fortunate :D

UNH - honey i'd definitely get your dad involved - if you believe he can lend weight to your situation and you have that influence available - go for it! PS: Feel free to rant away - in my opinion, this thread is about all things pregnancy - including issues like the one you're facing.

My husband and I changed out insurance to cover obstetrics over a year ago, in preparation for us trying for a baby - so we know we're covered for certain pre-natal services, a private hospital if we choose (not sure i'll go down this alley when the time comes - but it's definitely nice to know), and good post-natal care at home (midwife visits, etc).

 

[voxmystic]

Anyway, voxy, have you found anything that helped your skin? I am trying to use some acne creams/body washes/etc. to no avail and it's starting to frustrate the hell out of me. It literally makes me want to avoid going out in public... My husband says it isn't noticeable (it's mostly on my back) but I feel as if every pimple has a sign that reads "LOOK AT ME, I'M GROSS!"

Meh.

The thing that helps most with the acne is a clay masque. Unfortunately, about the time I got the acne beat, I started having issues with iron-deficient anemia. I'm prone to it anyway, but it's really bad now. I'm ghostly pale (yeah, I'm glowing....glowing in the dark!) except for a sickly yellow ring around my mouth. Soooo gross! Like I said, cameras are not my friend right now!

And I gotta add my 2 cents about that elitist insurance crap -- go ahead and get your pops to rip 'em a new one!

Oh, and I didn't gain any in the 1st trimester, either. But I made up for it 18lbs at 30 wks. Even on a smoothie diet. I also didn't show at all (except for the mammoth tits) until the 5th month. So, I'd say, just be patient. It'll all happen.

Kinda off topic -- I LOVE BLUELIGHT!! because even though I'm not using drugs now, the community forums still have lots of places to go and connect with REAL people. So....thanks

 

[LoveAlways]

Due date May 28, I do have a feeling that I will go past my due date- call it a hunch

oooooh!! My bday is May 30th!!! I have a couple friends whose babies share my bday its so cool!!!

Today I am babysitting 2 small kids, ages 2 and 3. All I can say is, having kids this close together seems INSANE!! The mess! Can't clean up after one without the other going right behind and making another mess! How their dad ever gets this place halfway clean is an utter mystery!

LMAO!!! This is my house! My oldest is about to turn 2, and being developmentally disabled she is basically a twin to her 9month old brother. Can u imagine that my husband and I are trying to open a business right now?!?! Just now, on the phone getting quotes I had both babies crawling all over me ripping the pen out my hand, tearing my paper, trying to eat everything, etc...ugh lucky they so cute!!!! The secret is to only ever expect the house to be halfway clean, it only stays fully clean for an hour or two while they sleep lol. I gotta say though it is absolutely precious. I wouldn't change a thing, they are best friends!! They follow each other around, play with everything together. And the look on each other's faces when they see each other for the first time in the morning makes it all worth while!

 

[LoveAlways]

Kinda off topic -- I LOVE BLUELIGHT!! because even though I'm not using drugs now, the community forums still have lots of places to go and connect with REAL people. So....thanks

WORD

oh and my vote says UNH is having a girl!!!! guaranteeee!! I used to work at an OB office, I would see 15-20 pregnant women a day, i feel like i have a really good knack for knowing these things

 

[User Name Here]

Love, I think I'm having a girl too, mostly because I want a boy Like I said earlier though, I don't care as long as the baby is healthy!

Voxy, I too love BL even though I no longer use drugs. I've really enjoyed the last year here. I've met tons of awesome people and I've never found a forum with so many caring individuals. Come to think of it, it's pretty hard to find ANY place on the internet where there is so much compassion, understanding, and support. It's a great thing and I really do think that BL does touch a lot of people. This pregnancy thread, for example, allows me to vent as well as share excitement without feeling like I'm droning on and on about being pregnant It has been a god-send for me!

 

[ocean]

UNH- when do you find out what you're having?

 

[kytnism]

20-21 weeks is standard when being scanned/for determination of sex of your offspring.

i too am betting that unh and hubby give birth to a bebbe girl.

the lack of show and overhaul of emotions/illness says it all.

knowing that youd prefer a little man; id be happy to be proven wrong.



...kytnism...

 

[voxmystic]

I gotta say though it is absolutely precious. I wouldn't change a thing, they are best friends!! They follow each other around, play with everything together. And the look on each other's faces when they see each other for the first time in the morning makes it all worth while!

You're right -- this part is heart-meltingly precious! Good luck with your business -- you have your hands full! You must be an expert juggler!

Adding my "Yaaaay!!" for the BL pregnancy, etc. thread! I checked out another couple of pregnancy forums, but I was a little creeped out by the syrupy goodie-two-shoes-ness. I mean, DTD is an abbreviation for Doing the Dance, which is a euphemism for sex.....come on! It's a PREGNANCY site! Must we really skate around the idea of fucking?!

 

[LoveAlways]

You must be an expert juggler!

lol well you know they say the 3 most stressfull things a person goes through is giving birth, getting married, and moving--i did all three in the same month!! What can i say i like to keep myself busy, and i think i work best under stress.

 

[User Name Here]

Adding my "Yaaaay!!" for the BL pregnancy, etc. thread! I checked out another couple of pregnancy forums, but I was a little creeped out by the syrupy goodie-two-shoes-ness. I mean, DTD is an abbreviation for Doing the Dance, which is a euphemism for sex.....come on! It's a PREGNANCY site! Must we really skate around the idea of fucking?!

I know! I'm a member at www.baby-gaga.com and it's a great site because it keeps track of what week you are and links you to other women who have similar due dates so you can all chat about what you're going through and reaching milestones. All of that's awesome but the posts in the forums seem so... fake. I don't know how to put it. It's like a lot of women just make posts so that others can respond to theirs and give them attention versus seeking a genuine conversation. That's not to say all of them are like that but there's definitely a fake vibe there and everyone is TOO sweet.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Four, upon reading through your blog I decided I too was craving pizza and ordered myself one for dinner. I have always loved pizza and I usually keep the little personal serving sizes made by California Kitchen in the freezer. They're affordable and made in under five minutes, not to mention they're really good!

I'm glad to hear your pregnancy is going well! Like I said before, I wouldn't wish my experience on my worst enemy (see below for a full-on rant).

Here's a snippet from my latest weblog entry (yes, this is somewhat of a post that includes shameless self-promotion):

This whole weight thing is becoming a common theme from post to post. Surprise, surprise: I haven’t gained any weight. I could talk about this more but I would sound like a broken record so all I’m going to say is that I’m still scared. I feel like a bad mom because I can’t keep anything down. This is the one time in my life I NEED to eat a lot and I simply can’t.

God, I hope this ends soon. Doctors say it should and if it doesn’t we’ll confront it in a few weeks. Until then all I can do is hope this passes because I am going freaking insane. Sometimes I feel like breaking down and crying because it has been over two MONTHS since I’ve felt good.

Unfortunately I haven’t gained that cute little bump that most 12-weekers start to don. I mean there’s a tiny little bump there but it’s not noticeable to anyone but myself and my husband. I know it’s a “bump” though because it doesn’t go away when I suck in (whereas before that extra padding in front of my abs could be easily concealed by sucking in, heh).

I want the cute bump, the adorable maternity clothes, the ability to say “I love being pregnant!”… Is that too much to ask? I want to hop on this train of bliss that I keep hearing pregnant women go on and on about. “Oh, I love being pregnant! I have so much more energy now that I’m through my first trimester! I threw up maybe twice early on but other than that it has been wonderful! I would do this again in a heartbeat!”

Yeah, instead I’m stuck here puking my brains out to the point of popping vessels in my eyes and bruising my thighs from grabbing onto them while retching. Instead of that supposed “glow” that women adopt while pregnant I am experiencing a second round of teenage-force acne. Instead of feeling refreshed and alert now that I’m at Trimester Two’s door I feel exhausted and want nothing more than to sleep all day, every day.

How romantic.

Concious21, love your blog. You will enjoy chronicling you and your baby's journey. Sorry to hear of the weight loss and constant nausea. I have a friend who lost 20 lbs in her first trimester, but then soon gained it all back + some and had a very happy and healthy baby girl

As for the libido, mine also took a nosedive in the 1st trimester. I felt super bad for my SO as well since I wanted no part of any kind of sexy time! Well, about week 16 or so it came back in full force. And it is been very strong since! Now, I still feel bad for my honey but just in the opposite way. I nearly attack the poor guy as soon as he gets home from work. Then, I look at the situation objectively and realize how silly it must look for an 8 mo prego to be chasing him around. LOL

PS: Congrats on the wedding! I, too, am getting crap for not being married. You may be right- a southern thing? I'm in FL so who the heck knows

 

[kytnism]

vitaminz and i received messages yesterday; informing us of our close friends scheduled birth tomorrow morning (4 days overdue). were so excited for them, and cant wait to meet the new addition to their family.

their first born is now 10 years old; so hand-me-downs and the basics are no longer available on hand. we wanted to help them cope with this when choosing a gift (as simply buying the basics can quickly add up).

rather than putting together a hamper for them, i spent last night making a "nappy/diaper cake" after a quick dash to the supermarket and LOVE how it turned out (a HUGE thankyou also to mariposa for the inspiration).

its such a fantastic and affordable gift idea (this one cost $51.40 to construct; and includes a baby blanket, 6 facewashers, 2 bibs, 2 dummies/pacifiers, 2 pairs of socks, a rattle, six feeding spoons, a bottle, a bottle of j&j baby shampoo with chamomile, a full pkt of huggies newborn nappies/diapers and a teddy bear).

the base tier:

the second tier:

the top/last tier:

the final product:

oh so sweet:

...kytnism...

 

[Samadhi]

That's a great gift - really thoughtful

So, just to explode everyones' heads with cuteness, here is a youtube clip of twin baby boys have a conversation - they obviously understand what the other one is saying, and during it, gesticulate wildly, laugh in response to the other ones... not only so so cute, but fascinating!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_JmA2ClUvUY&feature=player_embedded#at=18