Did anyone else struggle with finding pregnancy less wonderful than you expected?
I've had an uncomplicated pregnancy so far, nausea most of the time but no actual vomiting, and a supportive partner and boss, and I've looked forward my whole life to having a baby and becoming a mum. But there are days where I think things like, "If I miscarried, I wouldn't really mind" or where I'm sad to be leaving behind the days of it being just the two of us. As I get up to pee for the 4th time at night I think "Really? Is this what it's going to be like?"
It's not all day every day, and so I don't think it's prenatal depression. It's just this... ambivalence.
Can anyone relate or give me some advice?
BTW hi to all the other Aussies on this thread, there are heaps of us here!
Actually hun, I'm really glad you've brought this up. I was discussing this with my sister just the other day (she's just had her first baby boy, he's nearly 4 months old
). She sat me down to specifically tell me that no-one ever told her that at times it would be hard. She wants to make sure she passes on the correct account of her experience with the hard parts of pregnancy and the postnatal period, so that other women don't feel like they're totally alone in what they're going through!
I think that society STILL in this day and age doesn't fully acknowledge that sometimes pregnancy and new motherhood can be just
really fucking hard. No-one ever talks about that huh! Everyone still expects that just because we're female, we're going to automatically slip in to motherhood perfectly and everything will come naturally to us. And it's still, like, taboo if a mother has any kind of problems whatsoever, they are likely to see themselves as a failure, if not worse: society will see them as a failure! My sister was saying that she feels maybe perhaps if someone had at least warned her about the hard times, it might not have been such a shock and such a drastic change to her and her husband when their son arrived.
Don't get me wrong, they are doing an absolutely brilliant job and they are both wonderful parents, AND more to the point they are absolutely
loving life now. But the first couple of months were a real struggle for both of them. And I have a feeling that their experience is not uncommon.
Conscious, I think the concerns you're having are completely normal and natural feelings to have. AND I don't think they are uncommon feelings for pregnant women to have either, it's just that no-one talks about it. Pregnancy and birth and becoming a mum is all such a big change in anyone's life, but that doesn't mean that it's too much of a change for you and your partner to handle. You're both going to be absolutely fine.
Do not be afraid to tell someone how you're feeling. Talk to your partner or your mum or a close friend, tell them the thoughts and concerns you're having, don't bottle it in. Seek help whenever you need it, because the people around you really do want to help. And if you're particularly worried about losing the special relationship time you have with your partner,
MAKE TIME to specifically spend quality time together every single week!! Even if it's only a half-hour walk to the park while a neighbour or friend watches over your bub, or sitting down and watching a movie together at home when bub is asleep, make sure you make a point of spending time alone together
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
I'm not sexist regarding my distaste with referring people to animal associations.
