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the bluelight preconception, pregnancy and parenting l337ness thread
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Samadhi
Bluelight Crew
UNH - a mum friend of mine recommended this blog - GirlsGoneChild. It's not your typical mum blog, Rebecca Woolf is amazing - so inspirational! You may have already come across the blog - but it's well worth a look - she touches on some really meaty subjects with a tenderness and humour that i just love.
I'd be hugely interested to read your blog 
User Name Here
Bluelight Crew
Bad, it has been a pretty crazy ride so far. It seems like the moment you start planning everything out to a "T," Life throws you a curve ball.
Bag, we haven't met with a lawyer yet. It has honestly fallen down the list of things to do with the impending wedding ceremony, the baby, and the fallout from the car wreck. It was most definitely discussed at great length though and will probably be taken care of within the next year.
As far as my family's view on it? I haven't gotten my dad's but my mom was vehemently against it. No wonder, she made off like a bandit after the divorce from my dad
On a serious note though, she just comes from a different time where people pretended divorce couldn't happen to them. I think I probably mentioned that already though. I do know I've said that it just seems like a good thing to do because, well, shit happens. We have a great relationship but people change and preparing for that possibility seems wise.
N3, thanks for the recommendation! I had not seen it yet. So far I've been reading Snarky Mommy at Wordpress and have enjoyed her a lot so far.
Bag, we haven't met with a lawyer yet. It has honestly fallen down the list of things to do with the impending wedding ceremony, the baby, and the fallout from the car wreck. It was most definitely discussed at great length though and will probably be taken care of within the next year.
As far as my family's view on it? I haven't gotten my dad's but my mom was vehemently against it. No wonder, she made off like a bandit after the divorce from my dad
On a serious note though, she just comes from a different time where people pretended divorce couldn't happen to them. I think I probably mentioned that already though. I do know I've said that it just seems like a good thing to do because, well, shit happens. We have a great relationship but people change and preparing for that possibility seems wise. N3, thanks for the recommendation! I had not seen it yet. So far I've been reading Snarky Mommy at Wordpress and have enjoyed her a lot so far.
User Name Here
Bluelight Crew
You know it's bad when you start eating foods based on how easy they are to throw up Same thing with drinks...
Same thing with drinks...
Perpetual Indulgence
Bluelighter
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- Jun 13, 2004
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^^who has the assets in your marriage that need protecting in case of divorce?
Now that you are married, is it still called a pre-nup?
Now that you are married, is it still called a pre-nup?
StarOceanHouse
Bluelight Crew
Hun this is like the complete opposite of every baby shower I've ever been to!! I don't want to scare Tink off the idea of going to her friend's baby shower because you never know, it could be exactly like what you've described LA.
But all of the baby showers I've ever been to have been so fucking painful to endure!! Completely self-indulgent and boring. No boys allowed, no alcohol, having to play all these stupid little games and shit. At the last one I went to (for my boyfriend's sister, I love her don't get me wrong) she invited about 60 women so she received so many presents it was sickening. Literally MOUNTAINS of gifts, and the gift I bought her (one of those cool playmat things) she received FOUR OTHERS just like it. Seriously, what the fuck?! The whole time at the party I hid in the corner with my boyfriend's mum and aunty and we just chatted amongst ourselves, then left early.
My sisters never had baby showers like that because it's not their thing (they're like me, of course). One sister didn't have a baby shower at all, and for my other sister we all (my sisters and my mum and a few friends) went to High Tea one afternoon. Plain and simple
LOL you aussies need to learn how to make baby showers fun! I've been to 3 baby showers that I had a blast in. It basically a party where you bring gifts for the baby. Lots of food and alcohol. At the last one I went to they had jello shots. The only thing that I hate about baby showers is when they open presents. It takes so long cause people give so many gifts.
User Name Here
Bluelight Crew
PI, we both do. He has been saving money since he was 18 and has a lucrative career whereas I stand to inherit a lot of property and money [much] later in life.
The main thing we're concerned about now is just providing for our baby so everything else has kind of fallen to the wayside for the moment. Who knows, maybe a year from now we'll just say "screw it" but the logical part of me wants to keep everything safe.
The only problems I've encountered with this whole prenup business is what other people think of it, like my mom. I truly don't equate it to not trusting in your partner because I trust him more than anyone in this world.
The main thing we're concerned about now is just providing for our baby so everything else has kind of fallen to the wayside for the moment. Who knows, maybe a year from now we'll just say "screw it" but the logical part of me wants to keep everything safe.
The only problems I've encountered with this whole prenup business is what other people think of it, like my mom. I truly don't equate it to not trusting in your partner because I trust him more than anyone in this world.
User Name Here
Bluelight Crew
^ I didn't catch N3's post the first time around but I've honestly known many baby showers to be kind of froo-frooy and boring.
When did you guys have your baby showers?
When did you guys have your baby showers?
LoveAlways
Bluelighter
Hell yeah!!! I should definately start journaling again. You're right, its an awesome way to learn about yourself!!
I started a blog right before I gave birth to my daughter. I use it only to post photos for friends and family since most of them live on the mainland and have only met my kids once or twice (or not at all) Its a really great way to stay in touch!!! Plus I love getting trapped looking at old pics =) My daughter is about to turn 2 and i've been going through the pics from when she was first born
Its amazing to watch the progression, and hard not to cry sometimes! Some tips to combat nausea: (I refuse to call it "morning sickness" a term coined by a male dr who obviously knew nothing about it)
-keep crackers (saltines) by your bed and eat a few before getting out of bed.
-eat whatever you can/want to, dont worry too much about what you think you need or should have. I.e "I want potato chips, but since thats not healthy i should force myself to eat that turkey sandwhich instead" Something is better than nothing (a bag of chips is better than a few bits of turkey sandwich) and this early in the pregnancy the baby is getting its main source of nutrients from the pre-natal vitamins. Most likely your body is telling you what it needs, so even if its just potato chips thats ok
-if you're having trouble eating, but not drinking-try to drink stuff that has substance like v-8 or smoothies. likewise if you're having trouble drinking (especially water) try eating water-based foods like fruits, lettuce, and veggies
-GINGER GINGER GINGER!!!! I personally abhor the taste of ginger! If you don't then stock up on everything ginger. Ginger tea, ginger candy, etc.. Otherwise if you're like me they have ginger pills that help immensely!!!
-kind of controversial, but myself and ALL my mama friends smoked bud during pregnancy. I have yet to meet anyone that had any sort of complication during or after pregnancy and all the kids are thriving (the only exception being my daughter, but hers is a genetic disorder) obviously its a personal choice, but ganja was the only way i could get any food down during those 1st few months. i have a couple friends that stayed sick all the way up till the umbilical cord was cut, they have to be constantly smoking just to even get out of bed (and of course they are the ones with 5+ kids!!!!)
An eco-friendly idea for those pregnant and are yet to have a shower:
My friend requested that we buy used baby clothes from a thrift/consignment store. At first I thought that was strange because I pictured stained, heavily worn clothes. I found exactly the opposite and realized why: kids grow so quickly, there are often clothes that never get worn! I went to a thrift store in a fancy neighborhood and got really cheap, nice clothes that often had designer labels. I think I got a big pile of really cute clothes for $20!
The same girl uses cloth diapers. As much as I'd want to use them, and they have improved greatly since I had them as a kid, I don't know if I could handle that much maintenance. Babies are enough work on their own!
My friend requested that we buy used baby clothes from a thrift/consignment store. At first I thought that was strange because I pictured stained, heavily worn clothes. I found exactly the opposite and realized why: kids grow so quickly, there are often clothes that never get worn! I went to a thrift store in a fancy neighborhood and got really cheap, nice clothes that often had designer labels. I think I got a big pile of really cute clothes for $20!
The same girl uses cloth diapers. As much as I'd want to use them, and they have improved greatly since I had them as a kid, I don't know if I could handle that much maintenance. Babies are enough work on their own!
PS - I have no babies but I'm often around my two nieces (younger sister's daughters). They make good photo subjects :D
I love awkward kid photos. My sister only goes for the typical CHEEESE pics.
Grace:
Gianna:
I love awkward kid photos. My sister only goes for the typical CHEEESE pics.
Grace:
NSFW:
Gianna:
NSFW:
User Name Here
Bluelight Crew
Love, I really appreciate you taking the time to write that response! I have heard that ginger works really, really well so I will have to try it. So far I've been sticking to saltines and soda just to keep the prenatal vitamins down because I figure if I can't keep any food down, I at least need to try and get those down!
As far as ganja goes, I'm sure it works wonders and I've heard it's not harmful for unborn babies BUT it is illegal and I'm not about to get arrested Plus I have epilepsy which is the main reason I quit smoking years ago. It always messed with my head and made me feel even more prone to having seizures. It does sound wonderful though... Haha.
Speaking of, I got the go ahead to remain on Lamictal (my anti-seizure drug) while pregnant which is a HUGE relief. I didn't know if I would have to go off all my meds or not and if I did, would it be worth it (a whole other wall of text could be typed but I'll spare everyone since it's not something I have to debate anymore!). Anyway, my neurologist said it's a class C drug which means they're not sure if it causes problems and that if the risks outweigh the benefits, then by all means take it. However, he also mentioned that there have been studies done (mostly in Europe though) regarding Lamictal during pregnancy and the ONLY negative side effect they saw was during one study in Italy in which several babies ended up with cleft palettes. He also said that the doctors doing the study couldn't make an absolute link between the two so he seriously doubts it's anything to be concerned about, and even if it does happen somehow, it's easily correctable now. I also got the "go ahead" for my GP too regarding this drug so that's two doctors saying it's okay. Phew.
Now we're waiting to work out insurance before I go and get my second ultrasound. The first one didn't show anything because I was at about five weeks (this was after the accident, in the hospital). It was also pretty shoddy... The ER was full and they had me on a bed in the hallway and wheeled up this portable ultrasound machine so that doesn't really count. I can't wait to see my baby next week! I should have insurance by tomorrow afternoon. Dunno how people deal without it while pregnant =/ Everything is so expensive...
As far as ganja goes, I'm sure it works wonders and I've heard it's not harmful for unborn babies BUT it is illegal and I'm not about to get arrested
Plus I have epilepsy which is the main reason I quit smoking years ago. It always messed with my head and made me feel even more prone to having seizures. It does sound wonderful though... Haha. Speaking of, I got the go ahead to remain on Lamictal (my anti-seizure drug) while pregnant which is a HUGE relief. I didn't know if I would have to go off all my meds or not and if I did, would it be worth it (a whole other wall of text could be typed but I'll spare everyone since it's not something I have to debate anymore!). Anyway, my neurologist said it's a class C drug which means they're not sure if it causes problems and that if the risks outweigh the benefits, then by all means take it. However, he also mentioned that there have been studies done (mostly in Europe though) regarding Lamictal during pregnancy and the ONLY negative side effect they saw was during one study in Italy in which several babies ended up with cleft palettes. He also said that the doctors doing the study couldn't make an absolute link between the two so he seriously doubts it's anything to be concerned about, and even if it does happen somehow, it's easily correctable now. I also got the "go ahead" for my GP too regarding this drug so that's two doctors saying it's okay. Phew.
Now we're waiting to work out insurance before I go and get my second ultrasound. The first one didn't show anything because I was at about five weeks (this was after the accident, in the hospital). It was also pretty shoddy... The ER was full and they had me on a bed in the hallway and wheeled up this portable ultrasound machine so that doesn't really count. I can't wait to see my baby next week! I should have insurance by tomorrow afternoon. Dunno how people deal without it while pregnant =/ Everything is so expensive...
User Name Here
Bluelight Crew
Chrissie, one of my sisters in law sent me this link for cotton diapers: http://www.cottonbabies.com/sale.php
I'm with you on that though. Despite knowing how long it takes for diapers to disintegrate and feeling guilty about this, I can't imagine washing cloth diapers in my washing machine over and over again. No thank you, even if it saves tons of money
I'm with you on that though. Despite knowing how long it takes for diapers to disintegrate and feeling guilty about this, I can't imagine washing cloth diapers in my washing machine over and over again. No thank you, even if it saves tons of money
kytnism
Bluelight Crew
lacey i too got unbearably ill with my daughter while pregnant, and it lasted the entirety of the pregnancy. i recall people saying “hold off until the second trimester, and it will fade” and it NEVER did. i think i must have tried everything in the book to keep food down and feel normal throughout the day, but the slightest thing would trigger the nausea and id be back in the bathroom (eg. strong scents – garlic, cheese, cigarette smoke, perfume, food cooking; car trips, fast movement etc.)
this is not a legit statement, simply a personal opinion; but i believe that morning sickness is attributed to your hormones, and how your body reacts to the drastic hormonal changes that occur during pregnancy. i have always struggled with PMS and the female cycle, and have also had adrenal gland issues in the past that have thrown my hormones off course; and it was only after a course of steroids were administered for the health and development of both my baby and myself during the final trimester, that i was able to enjoy the remainder of the pregnancy as all mothers hope to.
i don’t want either myself or laceys experiences to sway any potential mothers desires to be pregnant; because if i had to do it all over again to have my daughter or another child, i’d do it in a heartbeat; and i know far too many people who have had no or very little morning sickness, and swear that pregnancy is a breeze and pleasure. there are no guarantees of what your body will do, until your doing it (sadly, lol!).
being a parent is an experience like no other on earth, it’s the most selfless and amazing thing youll ever do; and id highly recommend it to anyone wanting that experience out of life. best of wishes to all BL parents and those in the making.
...kytnism...
this is not a legit statement, simply a personal opinion; but i believe that morning sickness is attributed to your hormones, and how your body reacts to the drastic hormonal changes that occur during pregnancy. i have always struggled with PMS and the female cycle, and have also had adrenal gland issues in the past that have thrown my hormones off course; and it was only after a course of steroids were administered for the health and development of both my baby and myself during the final trimester, that i was able to enjoy the remainder of the pregnancy as all mothers hope to.
i don’t want either myself or laceys experiences to sway any potential mothers desires to be pregnant; because if i had to do it all over again to have my daughter or another child, i’d do it in a heartbeat; and i know far too many people who have had no or very little morning sickness, and swear that pregnancy is a breeze and pleasure. there are no guarantees of what your body will do, until your doing it (sadly, lol!).
being a parent is an experience like no other on earth, it’s the most selfless and amazing thing youll ever do; and id highly recommend it to anyone wanting that experience out of life. best of wishes to all BL parents and those in the making.
...kytnism...
LoveAlways
Bluelighter
Love, I really appreciate you taking the time to write that response! I have heard that ginger works really, really well so I will have to try it. So far I've been sticking to saltines and soda just to keep the prenatal vitamins down because I figure if I can't keep any food down, I at least need to try and get those down!
As far as ganja goes, I'm sure it works wonders and I've heard it's not harmful for unborn babies BUT it is illegal and I'm not about to get arrested
Speaking of, I got the go ahead to remain on Lamictal (my anti-seizure drug) while pregnant which is a HUGE relief. I didn't know if I would have to go off all my meds or not and if I did, would it be worth it (a whole other wall of text could be typed but I'll spare everyone since it's not something I have to debate anymore!). Anyway, my neurologist said it's a class C drug which means they're not sure if it causes problems and that if the risks outweigh the benefits, then by all means take it. However, he also mentioned that there have been studies done (mostly in Europe though) regarding Lamictal during pregnancy and the ONLY negative side effect they saw was during one study in Italy in which several babies ended up with cleft palettes. He also said that the doctors doing the study couldn't make an absolute link between the two so he seriously doubts it's anything to be concerned about, and even if it does happen somehow, it's easily correctable now. I also got the "go ahead" for my GP too regarding this drug so that's two doctors saying it's okay. Phew.
Now we're waiting to work out insurance before I go and get my second ultrasound. The first one didn't show anything because I was at about five weeks (this was after the accident, in the hospital). It was also pretty shoddy... The ER was full and they had me on a bed in the hallway and wheeled up this portable ultrasound machine so that doesn't really count. I can't wait to see my baby next week! I should have insurance by tomorrow afternoon. Dunno how people deal without it while pregnant =/ Everything is so expensive...
a good friend of mine is epileptic and has 2 children both "normal" ages 11 and 13months...if you have any questions or concerns i'd be happy to ask her
LoveAlways
Bluelighter
Hell yeah!! My friends and I take turns hosting "clothing swaps" which is THE BEST THING EVER!!!! Every other month or so we clean out our and our babies closets and take everything we no longer want/fit into to the hosting mama's house. We dump all the clothes in a pile and go at it!! Its like going to a thrift store except its free! The last one I offered to take home the left over clothes since I'm in charge of my church's rummage sale in a month--I came home with 6 large garbage bags plus 2 car seats, a stroller, and a walker! We each have our own charity we donate to.
As for the cloth diapers, it was definately easier when it was just my daughter! Now I have 2 in diapers, which is more work, but we're still able to maintain it. There are a lot out there that seem like they'd be really cool, but they're way more expensive AND end up being more work. I'm really happy with the ones I use, VERY SIMPLE. Its just that my baby sitter's hate using them lol
User Name Here
Bluelight Crew
Lacey, I'm sorry you went through so much pain. I honestly figured that a lot of women might have exaggerated how bad they felt in the first trimester (which makes me feel bad now!) only to have it served to me what seems like tenfold as a result of my previous opinions on it! I seriously throw up about five times a day at this point and I know EXACTLY what you mean about your morning routine. Thankfully I don't have to work and after this semester finishes in May, I am taking time off of school so I can waddle around all fat and pregnant without having to worry about anything too much. It kinda sucks because I am SO close to graduating after being in and out of school for what, five years now? Something like that... But at least I can put it off and take the time I need. I only wish I could've swapped my first and second trimesters somehow so I wouldn't be running to the bathroom between classes like I have been every day. I even went back to get my dress hemmed the other day and had to run and throw up during that! I literally carry plastic bags around with me now wherever I go
As far as the Lamictal goes, it does make me nervous but the alternative is this: Go off the meds and possibly DIE while having a seizure OR I can stay on them and my child might possibly have a cleft palette at the worst (from what two of my doctors have told me). I think I'll choose the latter because dying isn't exactly good for me or my baby What made me feel better about the whole thing was hearing them cite specific studies on the drug that showed there were no negative affects they could directly link to Lamictal. I've done plenty of google searches as well and all I can seem to find is along the following lines:
"It's a class C drug and we aren't sure if it affects unborn babies because so few studies have been done, however, the ones that have been done show few side effects if any at all."
So while I'm definitely nervous, the benefits outweigh the risks tenfold in my case. One more thing: my neurologist said it was probably the safest anti-seizure drug to use while pregnant when compared to others like Topamax, Lyrica, Klonopin, Neurontin, Depakote, etc. Not only this but we know Lamictal/Lamotrigine works for me whereas Lyrica and Neurontin never did. Switching to something else right now could be disastrous so we're gonna stay put. I also liked how my neurologist seemed so confident about it as well. I mean, he didn't even think twice about keeping me on it. Neither did my other doctor who I consulted for a second opinion.
LoveAlways, I would love to know more about your epileptic friend and how she and her doctor decided to control her seizures during her pregnancy! It's great both of her children are healthy! Hearing these sort of things make me feel better about it =)
As far as clothing swaps go, they sound like a great idea. It'll be nice to move to Qunatico/D.C. because there's a base there and they have all sorts of family networks and organizations that specifically work for mothers, families, etc. Marine wives seem to reproduce a lot too (is that bad? haha) so I have a feeling there will be no shortage of clothing swaps
As far as the Lamictal goes, it does make me nervous but the alternative is this: Go off the meds and possibly DIE while having a seizure OR I can stay on them and my child might possibly have a cleft palette at the worst (from what two of my doctors have told me). I think I'll choose the latter because dying isn't exactly good for me or my baby
What made me feel better about the whole thing was hearing them cite specific studies on the drug that showed there were no negative affects they could directly link to Lamictal. I've done plenty of google searches as well and all I can seem to find is along the following lines: "It's a class C drug and we aren't sure if it affects unborn babies because so few studies have been done, however, the ones that have been done show few side effects if any at all."
So while I'm definitely nervous, the benefits outweigh the risks tenfold in my case. One more thing: my neurologist said it was probably the safest anti-seizure drug to use while pregnant when compared to others like Topamax, Lyrica, Klonopin, Neurontin, Depakote, etc. Not only this but we know Lamictal/Lamotrigine works for me whereas Lyrica and Neurontin never did. Switching to something else right now could be disastrous so we're gonna stay put. I also liked how my neurologist seemed so confident about it as well. I mean, he didn't even think twice about keeping me on it. Neither did my other doctor who I consulted for a second opinion.
LoveAlways, I would love to know more about your epileptic friend and how she and her doctor decided to control her seizures during her pregnancy! It's great both of her children are healthy! Hearing these sort of things make me feel better about it =)
As far as clothing swaps go, they sound like a great idea. It'll be nice to move to Qunatico/D.C. because there's a base there and they have all sorts of family networks and organizations that specifically work for mothers, families, etc. Marine wives seem to reproduce a lot too (is that bad? haha) so I have a feeling there will be no shortage of clothing swaps
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