I'm really beginning to have a love/hate relationship with this stuff.
Received 6 grams on the 10th of September. Gave 1 gram to a friend. That's 5 grams left. Gave away approximately 1 gram in various doses to friends. That leaves 4 grams. Now it's the 19th and all I have left is about .4 of a gram.
I feel exhausted. Every time I do this stuff, I feel my blood pressure go through the roof and I feel like I'm going to die. Not to mention, I feel like I have a minor lung infection from snorting so much over such a long period of time, my coughs have been very rough and harsh sounding, often bringing up a lot of mucus. Also, when I snort a dose it almost immediately slides out and runs down my nose, forcing me to tilt my head back to keep it inside, often causing it to drip right down my throat, leaving me to believe it's doing more damage to my nose than I thought.
Yet, I still desire to do it. Even right now, I'm telling myself "Skip today, just do none today to prove to yourself you can skip a day" but my desire to do it is so incredibly strong. My reasoning is "I have enough left to do just a tiny bump...I can make it last" but I know immediately I'll just want more and more.
No physical withdrawals, just...an extreme desire to do more and more. This stuff is killing me, I can feel it inside, yet all I want is one more bump.