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The Big & Dandy Methoxetamine Thread-10th Dose-Addiction? But I'm only on it 24/7...

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Weird all this talk is happening today when I decided to post my kidney stone experience due to MXE.

My use really spiked in May where I loved starting my day with it and then at the end of the day. Basically all summer I struggled trying to keep a few days in between dosing. If I decided to dose on one day I would usually redose. I only took a week off like 3 times in between May and Memorial Day.

The dose I enjoy is 35mg with no tolerance...getting to the point where I don't get too messed up. The day before I went to the ER I got my tolerance up to 90mg to feel what I would with 35mg...which is the highest my tolerance had ever been. The duration was basically cut in half too. Effects were inconsistent with this frequency of use...a few times I would feel almost no effect from dosing.

There was a definite relationship between use and kidney pain. I had never had kidney pain in my life before until late june or so. A couple days before the ER I combined a couple beers with MXE and had mild pain again. Then a couple days later I had two beers about 4 hours after MXE's effects wore off. The next afternoon I was crippled with constant pain in my right kidney. I thought it would pass like before and I would sleep it off but it didn't and I finally went to the ER. I had a kidney stone. Took me a couple days to pass it and I feel extremely lucky there was minimal pain.

I'm happy to have emerged smarter after having experienced only mild health issues compared to what could have happened with an unresearched drug. I don't know the extent of the damage. Hopefully nothing long term. I feel my bladder capacity has lessened and every once in a while I'll have some mild kidney pain for a couple minutes or a quick and sharp bladder pain. I took MXE a week after my stone passed for what reason I don't know, I guess to test the waters. I was fine. It's been another week since then and I haven't dosed. I probably will in another week's time when I get a new package in. I'm wondering if I keep a minimum of a week in between dosing now if I'll be okay. It would suck to have to drop this stuff forever but I may be forced to do so.

I hope that anyone who reads this will take note and not do as I did. I know it's not easy to at all. I was forced to. You can still enjoy MXE but I tried to pack all my experiences into a short time span and I payed for that. It would have been so much better if I spread them out so I'd be able to enjoy them fully while not putting my mind and body at such a risk.
 
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Hit the nail on the head lorem. Especially that first paragraph.
When mxe first started emerging everyone celebrated its low potential for addiction or health concerns. Now as time goes on you hear a lot of the opposite. At first you deny it's doing anything bad. Then you start to realize but the fun still outweighs the bad. Then you're forced to stop. Best to quit while you're ahead.
 
loremipsum said:
Hey JW. The problem with the "moreish" is the illusion that it will get you, where you used to be when you started off. Those magical island, this safehouse of wellbeing and bliss, this cotton-cocoon of lucid dreamlike flights through inner and outer space. I know that feeling, but here MXE is the deceiver once you hit a high tolerance. The "bliss" exists in your mind, and MXE tricks you into a state of denial. Most likely because you don't associate bad comedowns or harsh times with it from your first memories. It's the perfect "everyday" drug, but it turns you into a wreck over time. MXE is a slow killer and a pretty and decisive one too. It's almost like a psyop against your prolonged wellbeing. First it pushes all your reward buttons at once and then slowly but steady takes em all away until the magic is lost and you find yourself left with a serious drug problem. Of course it does not feel like a real drug problem for a long time, so even when you start having physical issues you're still in denial, because you don't know otherwise. Like i started to get spasms and cramps all the time from prolonged MXE abuse, because it burns your magnesium, but i never suspected MXE as being the reason for my physical issues.

A friend of mine went through 3 heroin WDs and tried MXE only a couple of times and immediately kicked it again. He said to me "Holy shit i will never touch that stuff again, addiction wise what heroin is to the body, MXE is to the mind. I like it far too much and i already know that i will go out of control." And i think he hit the nail there. It's definitely not to be taken lightly and one must be very honest to oneself.

It took all my iron will to kick this sweet temptation, but i knew it had to be done. And if you're honest with yourself, you know it too. If you go through 5 grams in 9 days there is no rational for not admitting an addiction. I've been through the same and in the end i didnt kick MXE. I kicked my addition and made a break for good 6 months.

Now i use MXE again but this time it's a whole different usage. Always with the decisive undertone MXE brings in mind i dont do it more than once every 2 weeks. No more happysniffs. No more "oooh just a therapy dose". No more "just one more hole". No more "but i dont feel any addiction yet". No more stupid excuses with obvious abuse.

I wish you the best, that you can also kick the addiction, which in case of MXE its a psychological. My body never demanded it. My mind cried for it. You're already honest to yourself and know that your habits are out of control. You already know the direction. Now "just" walk the way. I know its hard. But its for your own good.

And hey, on the bright side always have the perspective in mind that once you kicked it for a long time, the magic returns and you will actually enjoy your rides again, and will eventually change your usage patterns completely, because you already know the road where it ends.

Keep strong, mate. You can do it!
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great post
 
A helpful diet?

Celery, Cranberry Juice, Apples, Peppers, B vitamins, Magnesium, Beans, Oatmeal, Yogurt, Broccoli, Cabbage, Olive Oil, and lots of water. Exercise is a must.
 
DriveThru said:
A helpful diet?

Celery, Cranberry Juice, Apples, Peppers, B vitamins, Magnesium, Beans, Oatmeal, Yogurt, Broccoli, Cabbage, Olive Oil, and lots of water. Exercise is a must.
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Yes this is an important component to anyone using MXE regularly. As we are finding it does burn a lot of 'stuff' which is what makes us feel the way we do on it, but so far I haven't had any negative physical symptoms after almost daily use this year, and I attribute a lot of that to proper diet and supplements, much of which you just listed. Be safe!
 
I was was using most of those on that list and working out heavily. Please don't take it as that's what you need. It's certainly not a prevention but it helps. Moderation is key.
 
I absolutely love how it's allowed me to be a completely more positive and open minded person. The problem is, like you said, I keep searching for as good of an experience as the first times I tried it. Not even kidding, I can snort 250mg and still function properly. I'll feel fucked up, and usually like I'm going to die, but I can still function. I can easily do this on a daily basis.

I really want to quit for a while to get my tolerance back down low because I realize this drug is best used at moderate doses, within the 35 to 75mg range. It's anti-depressant effects are a miracle, along with it's long half life which allows it to work for a few days at a time. The problem is it's moreish effect. Doing it daily is not necessarily a good thing, unless being used in the 35mg range doses. Doing it too often just takes away it's magic, especially when trying to achieve higher level effects such as a beautiful M-hole.

The worst I've experienced from my excessive usage, is a strong feeling of HPPD similar to the results of my strong acid usage. I just 'feel' like I'm permatripping, life feels liquidy and strange all the time. I'd really like to lower my tolerance and stay sober for a few weeks just to see if these effects subside, because as of right now I can easily go through a gram in two to three days. For those of you who keep track of my usage as I post, I've easily gone through 18 or more grams since March of this year.
 
I switched to cannabis. It helped me to quit. Now I will use the MXE ONLY as an antidepressant (if needed). Very addictive drug...
 
I don't think it ever comes back to as good as the first ride through space.
Probably no reason to keep searching for that.

I only got it once, no matter how many times I tried to take a tolerance break for 3 weeks after only one hole etc etc.
It was never fully like it was the very first time I went allll the way in.

Out of all those holes I only went all the way to meet our creator and become one with him all the way once.

ZOMG that was unexplainable too. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
<<<changed man

The one time I Went all the way..
I was up doing it the first night, didn't sleep much and din't do enough to hole but was extremely intrigued. Next night I hadn't slept and I did a bunch and kept stacking it on every 10-20 mins and I was goooooooooooooooooooneeeeeee forever. Stopped time, split into three and evaporated into space.

Oh sorry I thought this was the MXE support group again.
"My name's EWO and I'm an addict"
 
Is there any way MXE can be a medium - longterm antidepressant? I abused it for 5 months and had no physical effects but mentally I became maniacal and fucked up my social life, lost my job, did worse in school etc. I've been completely clean for 3 months now but the depression I used to have came back, and now it's even worse because my use gradually separated me from my friends.

Do you think using 15-30mg a week just to achieve the afterglow could work? If the glow lasts about 3 days, maybe 15mg twice a week? I'm wondering how tolerance will build to this kind of regimen because these doses are low. At the same time i feel like i might just be grasping at straws. When I read "the "bliss" exists in your mind, and MXE tricks you into a state of denial." I could definitely relate. I remember loving how I felt because I had such a positive outlook on life and felt productive, at least until I started using 100mg+ daily. Anyway, will tolerance build to low doses every week, or twice a week, and eventually the afterglow will be gone? I'm confident I won't return to daily or even recreational use, I just want that feeling of optimism and positivity that I had for a while until it became mania from constant use.
 
mexr said:
Is there any way MXE can be a medium - longterm antidepressant? I abused it for 5 months and had no physical effects but mentally I became maniacal and fucked up my social life, lost my job, did worse in school etc. I've been completely clean for 3 months now but the depression I used to have came back, and now it's even worse because my use gradually separated me from my friends.

Do you think using 15-30mg a week just to achieve the afterglow could work? If the glow lasts about 3 days, maybe 15mg twice a week? I'm wondering how tolerance will build to this kind of regimen because these doses are low. At the same time i feel like i might just be grasping at straws. When I read "the "bliss" exists in your mind, and MXE tricks you into a state of denial." I could definitely relate. I remember loving how I felt because I had such a positive outlook on life and felt productive, at least until I started using 100mg+ daily. Anyway, will tolerance build to low doses every week, or twice a week, and eventually the afterglow will be gone? I'm confident I won't return to daily or even recreational use, I just want that feeling of optimism and positivity that I had for a while until it became mania from constant use.
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yeah it will "work" in a way to fight depression just the same as any DRI (or NDRI). which is to say: it can help you get out of a tight spot but medium-/long-term use is still going to lead to arrogance and impulsive behavior. That's been my experience anyway.

also... the lady MXE is a tricky mistress... i suspect that it would be more easy to fall back into daily dosing than you think.

oh, also, ime small doses still produce some negative side effects like disorientation and exacerbating my (undiagnosed) dyslexia
 
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medium-/long-term use is still going to lead to arrogance and impulsive behavior.
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I was just reading over my previous posts (I made this account right around when I got my first order of MXE) and I can somewhat remember how i was feeling when I was writing all that shit. I remember being REALLY hyped, feeling manic / coked out but I remember words and ideas just flowed which I absolutely loved. Of course the dark side really came out...I wrote "Stay hydrated and active-- MXE will be your best friend." and I guess that's what happened. I don't know if I'm deluding myself thinking I can find some good spot, as in making a gram last 2-3 months while getting enough AD effects to get those positive effects. I felt like it could help unlock my creative, intellectual, and physical potential and I just took it way too far.

Anyway, how long do you find the afterglow / AD effects to last? Could 10-15mg make me feel better for a whole week? Or at least half a week?
 
half a week probably. the afterglow used to make me feel good for quite a while after,that was once a week doseage of 40/50mg. but i started to feel quite burnt out towards the end of the glows, also they made me quite manic sometimes
 
Last Friday night I did way too much in a short span of time and ended up going completely mental, wasn't fun, I can't remember a thing about what actually happened but I alerted my flatmates with all the noise that I was making, and I pulled my blinds down from the ceiling too apparently. Also I fell over and knocked the cap off one of my front two teeth so now I have to find a dentist to get that fixed. I scared my flatmates so much that they called the police for my safety, and they said they were considering moving out because of it, so I'm going to move out instead. It was a big wake up call. I'm going to give the MXE a rest for a few months at least, but if and when I decide to use it again, I'm not going to push the doses ever again, am just going to do amounts that I know I'll be safe and not search for the m-hole as I don't want anything like this to happen ever again.
 
Mugz said:
Last Friday night I did way too much in a short span of time and ended up going completely mental, wasn't fun, I can't remember a thing about what actually happened but I alerted my flatmates with all the noise that I was making, and I pulled my blinds down from the ceiling too apparently. Also I fell over and knocked the cap off one of my front two teeth so now I have to find a dentist to get that fixed. I scared my flatmates so much that they called the police for my safety, and they said they were considering moving out because of it, so I'm going to move out instead. It was a big wake up call. I'm going to give the MXE a rest for a few months at least, but if and when I decide to use it again, I'm not going to push the doses ever again, am just going to do amounts that I know I'll be safe and not search for the m-hole as I don't want anything like this to happen ever again.
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Funny.

I pulled a curtain once, threw my plants from windowsill twice. Even tried to break bathroom mirror with my forehead to get to another (normal, everyday) dimension. Shrooms where involved in the mix though. Also thought that SHROOMS poisoned me and I must break their spell to stay alive, otherwise I would die.

I do not know why, but I like the mania from MXE. Also I am going to the hospital to examine my health after EWO case (good luck to you and get better), because I have been (ab)using it for ~7 months now. I have been addicted to many other substances in the past, but I fell in love with MXE from 2nd time I tried it (after 1st time I thought it was a very dirty drug though). I do not feel the need to use other drugs, but I crave for Special M. However, if there are some physical damage to my bladder or kidneys I will stop using it (at least for a while).

This is the most interesting substance I have tried yet (and I tried almost all common psychedelics and drugs/RCs (except opiates)).
 
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I don't enjoy the mania, I enjoy hypomania on the way back though.

It's weird as even after the crazy Friday night on it and after I broke ribs on it too a few months back I still don't think I've touched it for the last time. There will be a time that I use it again. I just hope that I can stick to my plan to not push the doses anymore.
 
Do not get me wrong, I enjoy hypomania much more than the mania. But mania is also fun.

MXE has many wonderful aspects, until there is no tolerance issue..
 
I guess MXE was the best drug I ever abused. That's why I abused it.

Next to all the naturals of course. If I had them, I'd pick naturals over MXE... accept for DMT... that stuff kinda creeps me out for some unknown reason. Maybe it was the alien contact upon breakthrough time..
Maybe it was the black nothingness paranoia time.

MXE would be my drug of choice if I could still do drugs.
It appears I've done too many. Now I get a daily two-three hour death fit. lol wtf

Next in line would be Shroomies and LSD and Weed.

Shroom and MXE hole mixture was crazy fun. Did that twice. Holy freakin' cow.... visuals and head trips off the chart. Eyeballs were playing pingpong with a wall supply LED. Broke through my own ego death like a shattering glass window with block letters being thrown at me. Couldn't even see straight for more than fractions of a second without intense visual distortions. Body felt soo good.

Wasn't quite riding through the universe though. Was more like tripping in my own mind and through my own eyes. The shrooms held me to earth inside my head. The spirit of the earth was crying for help. I saw the earths spirit as if looking at earth's aura viewing earth from space. It was glowing and pulsing all different colors. It was begging for mercy, saying we are ruining earth.

MXE without shroomies and I go for a blast-off into space. More like DMT.
With MXE alone my world distorts and I rip through to the other side when the hole comes.
The MXE Black Hole dimension generator.

I think when I got through I called it something like a transcommunication device. lol
A two way transceiver with "it" or "them". 8(
I was so astonished I asked for proof! hahahahaha how funny.

"Break on through!"
 
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