ecstacylover
Bluelighter
Aw man, I don't even know where to start, but I'll do my best. First off, I'll say I really underestimated this stuff. Last night made extremely high dose 3-MeO-PCP+cannabis seem like child's play in comparison. I've never done 5-MeO-DMT/DPT for similiar experiences that may be as jarring. but I'm just going to assume ephenidinine takes the cake when it comes to that kind of utter nuclear destruction in the realm of disssociatives. When I finally sobered up enough this morning to realize I hadn't slept in days and my body was involuntarily dropping to the floor (idk if it was for lack of energy, or some kind of seizure, but scary nonetheless) I popped 3mg etizolam and finally got the few hours of sleep I needed to write this. I'm still shaking throughout my whole body, like cold chills. Woah.
The soundtrack for the parts I remember was provided by Lupe Fiasco's The Cool and it provided a very chilling, daunting and realistic backdrop to my trip. I probably experienced the equivalent of a dose higher than 525mg considering I had already been building it up in my system for the day and a half prior. And I licked my measuring spoon and probably put more in my system by whatever means at various points throughtout the night. Once I realied how strong the experience was getting, it was too late. Utter realism. Such extreme dissociation to the point where it begins to behave the opposite way and I was more in the moment than I have ever been in my life. The CEV's were incredibly complex, blowing away most serotonergic psychedelics. But once I gained the ability to manipulate energy I was changed forever. Think Star Wars, "Use the force Luke," I just pointed my hands towards things and they would behave as I pleased. My fingers were glowing with a blue aura. It was all so positive, and then it just totally switched up.
My fingernails crumbled before my eyes and fell off, my skin darkened and was rotting - I was dying. I think this was a metaphor for the damage I am doing to my physical body with the amount of dissociative drugs I put through my system, You know those moments you get sometimes on dissociatives (I got it on DXM a lot) where you feel like all the energy in the world is headed towards a breaking point and you are standing right at the middle of it? For about an hour (time-dilation made it seem like much more) I was stuck in this frantic state of impending doom. It was basically a NDE, everything I had ever known ceased to exist and I the only way forward was the source. However, this source was not natural, it was blue and green lights that I will probably never be able to erase the memory of from my mind - it was like the the most vulnerable and helpless I've ever felt in my enitre life, basically I thought I was about to die and go to hell (which even if you're not religous, eternity is scary as fuck). It was like MXE was God and my past life and ephendine was the future and the devil, and I thought the EPE had won the battle for my soul.
Flash-forward to coming down, at some point I got in the shower as I began to regain some resemblance of myself. Eerie music filled my ears and frightening thoughts crossed my mind even though I was in total silence. I probably sound like a stupid rambling maniac, it's just difficult to put my experience into words. I swore off dissociatives forever (for the millionth time) last night when I came to last night and realized I had been given my life back. And yet what a paradox, I'm already yearning to go back. Go back where? Is it home? I guess we won't know for sure till we know nothing at all.
The soundtrack for the parts I remember was provided by Lupe Fiasco's The Cool and it provided a very chilling, daunting and realistic backdrop to my trip. I probably experienced the equivalent of a dose higher than 525mg considering I had already been building it up in my system for the day and a half prior. And I licked my measuring spoon and probably put more in my system by whatever means at various points throughtout the night. Once I realied how strong the experience was getting, it was too late. Utter realism. Such extreme dissociation to the point where it begins to behave the opposite way and I was more in the moment than I have ever been in my life. The CEV's were incredibly complex, blowing away most serotonergic psychedelics. But once I gained the ability to manipulate energy I was changed forever. Think Star Wars, "Use the force Luke," I just pointed my hands towards things and they would behave as I pleased. My fingers were glowing with a blue aura. It was all so positive, and then it just totally switched up.
My fingernails crumbled before my eyes and fell off, my skin darkened and was rotting - I was dying. I think this was a metaphor for the damage I am doing to my physical body with the amount of dissociative drugs I put through my system, You know those moments you get sometimes on dissociatives (I got it on DXM a lot) where you feel like all the energy in the world is headed towards a breaking point and you are standing right at the middle of it? For about an hour (time-dilation made it seem like much more) I was stuck in this frantic state of impending doom. It was basically a NDE, everything I had ever known ceased to exist and I the only way forward was the source. However, this source was not natural, it was blue and green lights that I will probably never be able to erase the memory of from my mind - it was like the the most vulnerable and helpless I've ever felt in my enitre life, basically I thought I was about to die and go to hell (which even if you're not religous, eternity is scary as fuck). It was like MXE was God and my past life and ephendine was the future and the devil, and I thought the EPE had won the battle for my soul.
Flash-forward to coming down, at some point I got in the shower as I began to regain some resemblance of myself. Eerie music filled my ears and frightening thoughts crossed my mind even though I was in total silence. I probably sound like a stupid rambling maniac, it's just difficult to put my experience into words. I swore off dissociatives forever (for the millionth time) last night when I came to last night and realized I had been given my life back. And yet what a paradox, I'm already yearning to go back. Go back where? Is it home? I guess we won't know for sure till we know nothing at all.
Apart from the problems you talked about, have you noticed any physical side affects? Stomach cramping etc?
Got a bit concerned about my teeth's ename:such caustic juice can't be any good for it. After 15g consumed in such a way, my dentist didn't notice anything, but i won't risk it again.
I award you the Cast Iron Nostrils Trophy. IME 50mgs of this stuff already feels like it's piercing through my eye socket and wedgemelting the front half of my brain.
