Just picked up 5 g of Memantine. I’m more interested in it’s ability to reduce tolerance buildup and neuroprotective properties. I also currently find myself in a state I swore I’d never return to.
Over the past couple of years I was able to use benzos twice a week but the last couple months my usage has spun out of control. I’m currently in college at the tail end of completing my BS in chemistry and the course load has become unbearable.
As such, I began to take adderall to increase my ability to study for longer hours. Amphetamines increase compulsivity thus I started taking more benzos to counteract the negative effects of stimulants. Furthermore, one needs a higher dose of benzos to mitigate these effects.
Now I feel like I’m on the brink of ruin. All that hard work I put towards school is in serious jeopardy. My memory retention is beginning to deteriorate and I don’t know how I can taper in the midst of taking these difficult courses.
I’ve also heard Memantine is effective for benzo withdrawals and reducing excitotoxicity. Ugh fucking benzos have been the bane of my existence. When your on them cognition is compromised, but conversely coming off of them turns your brain into scrambled eggs, literally fries you with excess glutumate.
Hopefully with the aid of NAC and Memantine I can reduce the oxidative stress that accompanies benzo withdrawal, so that I can still function at school. How the hell did I let this happen again. I’ve been through benzo tapers multiple times and the ineffable nightmare that ensues is soul crushing. Damn…