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Lysergamides The Big & Dandy AL-LAD Thread - Part 3

All that stuff to replenish my endorphins started happening after my trip as well. I feel like the trip started it because it went on for so long and for a huge part of it after the peak I was walking around outside (something I hadn't done in like... 2 weeks at least, seriously). And I got really hungry from that and started eating again and kept everything going.
Before then I was having trouble walking around the gardens out back or even getting a glass of juice. I am cooking again. I'm still struggling a bit with appetite but I got right to the cycling and long walking and now yoga. Keeping hydrated too and managing to sleep well. I just got groceries the other day too so I have valerian for sleep, whey protein powder, lots and lots of fruit and veggies. Pretty much my whole life is centred around recovery right now and that isn't going to change because why ruin my life with dope, I'd rather have back pain (which might actually go away in time if I am less sedentary about it).
Thanks man, I'm curious to see how long this goes on for. I was feeling like complete shit and I have no complaints now at all, maybe a little nausea but I'll have some ginger for that. A few days ago I was in a hopeless hell. If I get cravings in some days time, I'll smoke DMT again. Wiped me out much less than this stuff but I needed to trip heavily and for long.
 
Xorkoth said:
I think this is because lysergamides have very short half-lives, you're still tripping after it's eliminated from your body (if I recall correctly, please correct me if I'm wrong). This is contrast to some other drugs. In general isn't it true that duration will be mediated by half-life? So that if you take a lot more of something, then after one half-life it will still be present in sufficient quantities to still feel the drug, hence lasting longer than if you took less. I know with the DOXs, people who take a lot more will trip a lot longer. hence the stories of people tripping for days on DOM back in the 60s... they produced 15mg tabs (or was it 20mg)? And people would take several and not come down for days.
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This is mostly true. For most drugs the half-life is going to be greater than the duration of effects- so you stop feeling it well before ~1/2 of your dose is eliminated. For LSD though, this is the opposite: the half life is about 3.6h, but the drug effects can last for almost 3x that duration! A study was just published in Cell this year that shows that LSD has very slow dissociation kinetics from the 5-HT2A/2B receptors, which could explain it's extremely duration.
 
Has anyone noticed a pattern with headaches after Al-Lad?
I note that I get a headache 2 out of 3 times after Al-Lad at any dose, high or low, mixed or not mixed with other lysergamides.
I cannot completely rule out the after effect of wine and/or raki (alcoholic grape distillate),.
I usually drink something to cover for my being mentally unusual or "fluffy" in a group.

Last night I had a bit of 1p (-30mics @ 5pm) mixed with Al (- 50mics @6pm) some raki (2oz) at 5:15pm and some white wine at 5:30PM (4 oz)
This produced a very social and euphoric relief with family members after a very hard week of computer software architecture consulting.
I had about a liter of coconut water through the evening.

Later @9:30 I had some hashish (2 tokes from vape pen) but the headache had already started - and it carried through until 7:am. even with tylenol and advil.

Most relief was felt this morning after using OPTREX brand eye wash (witchhazel in water), and a big coffee.

Next time I will avoid alcohol when putting Al-Lad into my system (at least 3 next times, so I can eliminate the effect of alcohol)
 
pupnik said:
Has anyone noticed a pattern with headaches after Al-Lad?
I note that I get a headache 2 out of 3 times after Al-Lad at any dose, high or low, mixed or not mixed with other lysergamides.
I cannot completely rule out the after effect of wine and/or raki (alcoholic grape distillate),.
I usually drink something to cover for my being mentally unusual or "fluffy" in a group.

Last night I had a bit of 1p (-30mics @ 5pm) mixed with Al (- 50mics @6pm) some raki (2oz) at 5:15pm and some white wine at 5:30PM (4 oz)
This produced a very social and euphoric relief with family members after a very hard week of computer software architecture consulting.
I had about a liter of coconut water through the evening.

Later @9:30 I had some hashish (2 tokes from vape pen) but the headache had already started - and it carried through until 7:am. even with tylenol and advil.

Most relief was felt this morning after using OPTREX brand eye wash (witchhazel in water), and a big coffee.

Next time I will avoid alcohol when putting Al-Lad into my system (at least 3 next times, so I can eliminate the effect of alcohol)
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^^^ I've noticed it happens to me often when I drink and use cannabis with certain psychedelics, especially on a mixtures of tryptamines or lysergamides with phenethylamines. I think the headache has something to do with blood pressure inside the head or at least that's my gut feel for it.
So with the known combos (that includes AL-LAD) I simply avoid using too much cannabis and avoid alcohol.

My remedy is usually a mixture of kratom and mate teas, Palmitoylethanolamide, Magnesium Citrate and Agmatine. Ibuprofen goes next if nothing helps.

Also theoretically preloading with some blood thinners like Aspirin or garlic extracts would help with this issue I think. I've tried garlic so far and it seems to help ease off the load on blood vessels.

But even eliminating alcohol might already be enough and definitely worth trying! :)
 
Xorkoth said:
Wow, really? That sucks! For me AL-LAD is definitely more present in the body than LSD, but I find it very pleasurable. LSD also has virtually no bodyload for me, it feels primarily transparent, like there isn't a chemical affecting my body. AL-LAD produces an obvious body effect, for fortunately, for me it's really pretty wonderful-feeling.
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Yeah, it does. :\ You should definitely feel lucky about that. If it wasn't for the body load I honestly think AL-LAD would be one of my very top favorite psychedelics, it was fantastic in every other way and I want to say aside from that actually possibly the most euphoric drug I've ever taken. Hopefully I can figure out a way around it with future trials, as I did just a get bit more of it to stock up on....
 
Well I ate a quarter of mushrooms last night and it destroyed me. I think I experienced ego death (something like that, maybe not all the way... it was just a quarter but it rocked me). My trip was a blank slate of conscious experience. Then my logic came back and I couldn't figure anything out. Straight up confusion. I got in a thought loop like, I just can't fucking figure it out and it's right in front of my face, I just don't understand, I am using my fucking physics logic like what the fuck?? I couldn't have told you my name, or anything at all about myself, only speak or write using logic. I don't get it, I was kinda starting to freak out and then my hot new friend who I am completely falling in love with helped me remember that I was 'Shroomy'. She's just like... did you eat all those mushrooms you had? I'm like OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH and then I kept forgetting for a while but everything started coming back - oh right, language. I speak english. I've been using it this whole time. I felt like I was creating my own reality. Eventually I remembered everything about who I was again and then I had a cute chat with my cute new friend who is just so fucking amazing. I am glad I got off opiates because I never would have met her if I hadn't.

Ten hits of al-lad was really intense too but in a different way, far more visual and far less mindfuck. The shroomies are always the little fuckers that get me. I couldn't even speak, and I was having trouble moving. It was actually kind of hard on my body and I'm sleeping today off. No more psychedelics for a while haha. I've been clean a good while and I've had these high dose trips. And I'm kinda preoccupied with this whole romance thing she has been AMAZING so far : )
 
Hell yeah man, talk about a boost to helping you be happy with your life apart from opiates! A new romance you feel awesome about is one of the most sublime things in the world. :)

I'm gonna take 300ug of this tonight, gonna jam with my band and hang out and finish mixing our last EP. I've been coming off phenibut, it's been 16 days, and to help deal with it I've been drinking more often than usual. I'm pretty sure it's making it worse, but band days are the biggest trigger for me because everyone else is drinking. I'm hoping AL-LAD will not only provide a fun state of mind conducive to music that isn't alcohol, but that I will get something from it. Honestly half the reason is because I love AL-LAD and I just got my order in yesterday, I really just want to taste it again, it's been years. :)
 
We both can't stop thinking about each other : ) it's really really nice. She's visiting family but I will get to see her again soon and it's like, still progressing in my opinion. Even just thinking about her and we talk every day too and I just can't wait to see her again. She helped me realize I was on shrooms yesterday haha. Cutest chick I have connected with on this level by far and we are both in our prime, 30, so it's just sweet and she's totally giving me a bit of a break for the next couple weeks because I have been completely honest with what is going on with me good and bad.

These trips are helping too but like when the right girl comes along all randomly when I'm a recovering junkie and she's actually chill and right for me I wasn't even looking haha I met her on a ten strip of this stuff (the al-lad) when I was coming off that journey. We have had to talk a lot about stuff. I just was blown away not expecting that to happen at all I wasn't looking and she has been amazing. It's like it really couldn't be better right now and it's like she came like magic into my life at just the right time and if I fuck this up doing dope again I will be the biggest fool who ever lived because she is special this one and she's being patient with me as I continue to withdraw. She just wants to hang out and chill anyway so it's not like she's pushing me too hard yet, apart from when we get at each other hehe but even then cause of Low-T levels I'm like fuck. She is being so good to me I really appreciate her.


That's awesome man have fun! Sounds like a fun night, and a solid dose. I play a lot of post-hardcore guitar. I've been having really high dose trips lately because I'm just not getting it. And it's right in front of my eyes, I just need to be a better person. I feel reborn in a way. I need to hammer the message into my head and AL-LAD, mushrooms and DMT have all helped. But then that cutie came along and like it's pretty serious so I have to get a little more real for a while. She smokes chron and is overall very relaxing to spend time with so that will totally help out my recovery too. It's also good to be getting laid in opiate recovery because my testosterone levels are so low. I've blown my mind with psychs enough for a couple weeks so it's time to chill. Maybe write some music, start doing stuff again but that quarter of mushrooms laid me out man and then built be back up. Chilling out today, I need a rest after those mushrooms as I was having an identity crisis but I feel like I need a rest in general right now. I'm being too hard on myself.

I just got some Norflurazepam yesterday and I'm liking it so far. My head is scrambled from the shrooms man they take more out of me than any psychedelic. Fucking tough trip.
 
Dude, it sounds a lot like my situation. I got off opiates and got out of my abusive marriage, and like 5 months after opiates/7 months after my ex left, I met this super cute girl and we just clicked. It's been almost 3 years and we're still really into each other. I was really honest with her on our first date about what I had gone through, and everything else, it really allowed us to form a connection quickly. Even though we kept it casual on the surface for a while, it was intense. Still is. :) I unexpectedly started crying while I was driving away when she went to California for 2 months, only 2 and a half weeks after we met. Turns out she thought about me the whole time and vice versa. :) We've never even gotten in a fight ever this whole time, it's crazy.

Watch out with the benzos. I've been off opiates for almost 3.5 years, but after a while the GABA drugs crept up on me. Shit's also really bad to get dependent on and benzos are tricky bastards.
 
Man I can relate to everything you are saying. It's happening so fast but it's like the more we get to know each other the more we are inseparable. She's out visiting her family for a few days and honestly I miss her. She wants to come home a day early so we have a few days to spend together. It has been wonderful. I know when I like a girl. She's about to give me a call. Like I can't even wait to hear her voice... it's crazy. Oh man I can't see us fighting. Just straight up honesty and we're both chill people.

She is really book smart like she's that cutie who has been hiding out in the library and wants a relationship now and I want a serious one too. I really appreciate that she is even giving me a chance considering the heroin and all that shit. I fucked up so bad. She's like the opposite of hardcore heroin withdrawal lol.

I was also in a toxic relationship around 6 months ago that went on for 5 years so like I know what I want now and I learned a lot. She's pretty much in the same situation. I'm trying to keep it casual, but we can't pretend.

Oh ya man I have a real nasty panic disorder and the benzos are creeping up on me a bit. It's the next logical thing to address when I've been clean from opiates for a while. I use long acting ones and should be able to do a really slow taper.

Man you gave us hope. It feels odd you know? Like... isn't it supposed to take a while? I'm becoming more and more confident about this and well, she is totally into me so that's nice too : ) I honestly couldn't be happier I'm sitting here hungover from a quarter of shrooms and still kicking from a recent oxycodone slip... and it's totally cool because we're about to talk and it's gonna be sweet! She's really smart. I straight up just completely respect her. How could I ever get mad at her after giving me a chance like this... I'm not the only guy here. I've just been straight up about everything and then she is doing the same and it is wonderful. I can't wait to see her tomorrow.

I was talking to her on AL-LAD (my 1500ug trip) and she wants to try it. She thinks it sounds like a good substance for finding answers. I've never had a girl who smoked chron let alone tripped out so that is sweet too! Thanks man you actually gave me hope. I've been questioning this so much because it's like I KNOW what's going on here but it's almost too incredible to be true. That's kinda why I took the quarter of mushrooms last night and we bonded a lot talking on the phone since she's visiting her parents. I can't wait until she's back but I don't think I'd give her a 10 strip to start. I personally am finding high dose trips easier to handle than low or medium dose ones these days, it's weird. Oh, but I got my ass handed to me by that quarter of mushrooms ahaha.

I'm gonna get out of this fucking swamp one step at a time. Dude and you made me realize this is totally possible. If it happened to you right and it really seems similar, especially the previous abusive relationship when I was abusing heroin myself and like it was just so fucking bad back then.
 
Heh, no, don't give her a 10 strip. My advice is to let her decide when to trip with no pressure, and give her a low dose to start because you don't know how she'll react. My girl has tripped with me a couple of times now, when she took acid for the first time (with me :)) she knew I had some, and she just came over one day and was like, let's eat acid this weekend. We did, I gave her 125ug, and she loved it but it was almost too strong at the beginning. She handled it well and went on to have a good trip, but just saying. Just because you/I can take a lot of psychedelics doesn't mean she can. I'd give her 1 tab to start if she's like, "let's do AL-LAD this weekend" or whatever.

My suggestion is to be excited, but also just chill and let it happen. Don't try to define anything forcibly. My girl and I never even had the define the relationship talk, eventually after like a year I realized I'd be wanting to tell her I loved her for months, so finally I did and she returned the sentiment. Gradually we started talking about marriage (or in our case, not getting married) and kids and stuff. But it all happened slowly and organically, and in the meantime we just enjoyed each others' company. We both knew how each other felt because it was clear as day through the way we were/are with each other.

By the way I met my girl when I was 31, so about your age... she was 28. It's cool meeting people when you're not so young anymore because you've both already worked through (hopefully) a lot of that ego stuff. :)
 
Dude that is amazing advice and it's what is going on. It's just happening like an acid trip man and flowing organically it really is and that is honestly so rare for me with this. I was just on the phone with her for around an hour and it was wonderful. I think we just both understand that we want the same things. I'm 29 and she is 30. We are really enjoying ourselves at the moment in fact she is leaving a day early to come chill with me and I'm like no no stay and have fun but I think she knows what she wants. We'll have a couple more days together and we are still figuring out all the hobbies and stuff we are going to get up to... other than a lot of sex which again is just flowing organically. I'm not even really meaning for it to happen. It's amazing.

Oh and I'd never do that hehe. Good hard reduction advice. I don't really give people psychedelics; over the past 3 or 4 years I have only tripped by myself. If she brought it up I'd do the same thing, and make sure to have a benzo just in case. I don't even necessarily want her to trip out with me but I love smoking weed with her cause I've never had a girl who liked chron. She has better pot than all my stoner buddies and that's... sexy lol. And yeah man I have to be excited and she's the type that like I totally need to let her know and take control a bit but also, I'm sure as fuck not scaring her away. I didn't bring out the whole drug issue at once, for example. We're slowly getting to know each other, and really enjoying it so much. I don't think the word relationship has been mentioned, but we both know what we want or we wouldn't have made it this far.

Yeah man fuck that ego youngin stuff. I would finally say that I am a humble man. After chronic pain leading to a heroin habit I have been very humbled. I really hope I never ever go back because I still have cravings. I would have said that I was humble before too, but I just wasn't at all. I had a total ego in my early 20's. I haven't lost it completely but if I can get off a 5 year heroin habit, get my career going again and have a beautiful chick in the meantime then I must be doing something right. I think I'm going to keep smoking DMT... little easier on the body than these repetitive high dose acid and mushroom trips in withdrawal haha.

You are giving me hope!!! And it was really cute I thought how it just came out I told her I miss her which is so weird. She's only gone a few days and she's like I miss you too I think about you way too much. But it wasn't like it was weird or anything even though... you know? Like it's kind of fast but we just click so well it is hard to believe. It's just like I totally get that she misses me too and then she confirms it and it's so sweet to me. I also think that we both have really important life lessons to offer each other and I feel like she is full of cute little surprises. It doesn't hurt that she is kinky as fuck as well. I feel like she's been in the library the past 5 years lol, she is a total bookworm but I find she is really smart in ways that I'm not. And then I got that technical shit covered. Last night I could do fucking quantum physics calculations but I wouldn't have been able to tell you my name, or that I was a human on planet earth or where I was. It was sooooo frustrating.

Mushrooms kick my ass more than anything else. I'd totally take 10 AL-LAD blotters over a quarter of that stuff again hehehe. And I totally feel like I can tell the difference between shrooms, 4-ho-met, and 4-aco-dmt pretty damn easily.
 
Goodwalt said:
That's great news :) congratulations!!
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Hey I somehow missed this, thanks! I've been doing great so far.

Also Xorkoth thanks for the warning about the gaba drugs man. Like I didn't already subconsciously know. I'm already on a taper schedule now and I think I have enough long acting benzos to taper down a bit and then switch to my diazepam script. I get really bad panic attacks mainly since I had untreated chronic pain in my spine for over 2 years, then got fed up once those started, the doctors didn't do anything for me and became a junkie. I never really abuse benzos but it's sure not good to be on them so long. If I don't take them I feel like I am having a heart attack perpetually and even before I started on them so it's tough.
I do abuse them sometimes in post-acute heroin withdrawal, and in the end, when I was very sick. Which I am presently in PAWS symptoms, so it was also a wakeup call. I'm dealing with the anxiety and making sure it doesn't get too intense. I could use a nice hoppy beer, I haven't had one since I got on benzos several years ago. Not sure if they are good to mix or what my reaction to alcohol would be now. My little bro plays in a band and I want to form my own sorta post-hardcore one someday. I'm already teaching my cute new friend piano (I don't play it myself haha so I am learning along the way, but I play electric guitar and know enough music theory to transfer it) and she is teaching me a second language.
I was so worked up about H that I forgot I have to taper off those too and like if not today then when? I kept telling myself on that quarter of shrooms the other day, like I'm just not getting it, I'm just not getting it. I think I am though... I am already having a panic attack but I am going to wait four hours to dose. Off topic man I know but I have a couple sheets of Al-lad to go through so I'm sure I'll be writing here again. =D Plus I must be heading in the right direction somehow if I have another date lined up quite soon, but I don't want to ruin my life with this shit.

I think I'll go with 300 mics of this next time, but if one has not tried it I'd start with 150 mics to be on the safe side trying a new psychedelic. Amazing psychedelic though.
 
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Well honestly if you're on a low dose to treat underlying anxiety, I would wait to taper until you're clear of opiates and PAWS. In fact either way I'd say wait, you're going to have a much harder time if you try to get off both at once. I thought maybe you were just getting into the habit of taking benzos to deal with opiate withdrawal and if that was the case and you weren't dependent yet or just a little I was gonna say to cut it off at the pass now... but if you're already physically dependent and have been for some time, I'd definitely take it one thing at a time. I'll say, definitely only take them when you need to, don't make it worse by increasing your usage.
 
Exactly man, I've always been okay with my benzos, but my dose has been creeping up this year because whenever I was really getting heroin sick I would take extras, I was just not thinking straight at all, and now my tolerance is a little higher. I'm not going to fuck up and take even more for opiate post-acute panic attacks when, if I can just wait long enough, I will stabilize and then I can taper off my benzos next. I gotta realize man like I'm actually going to get better, and I already am! I jammed my guitar for half an hour today, and did half an hour of yin yoga. I even held a downward dog for 5 minutes and physically I haven't been eating, I've lost a lot of weight. So mainly restorative yoga asanas. I cooked a veggie pasta, that is huge for me, to have an appetite these days. That is really an accomplishment for me at this point of my life. I took some Valerian phytocaps (highly recommended) that mellowed me out a little and now it's just an hour until the time I will take my benzo. I'm in a bit of a panic, but it's not so bad. I can hold off for sure, yoga really helped actually. I heard a cold wet towel on the forehead helps too, I should try that. I really like Valerian though, it's totally nature's valium.

I'm handling the most anxiety that I can right now, but I shouldn't be so hard on myself. It has been tough enough to be quitting a 5 year heroin habit. And yeah man like spot on, wait until I'm really anxious, then wait longer until I really am like fuck I need this right now so that I'm at least getting used to dealing with my panic. Not like... I'm dope sick so I'm taking a benzo. None of that. Nor, I'm tripping out super hard so I'm taking a benzo. There has been none of that either, I definitely think I'm on the right track. Main thing right now is no more heroin ever again so long as I live, and once that is said and done, I can taper off my anxiety meds. I also started off my opiate free journey with a taper plan, and a diary with a schedule listing time / dose / reason ... so I already have a little practice (I'm obviously going to have to taper the benzos, so it's good I get diazepam). Thanks by the way. I was actually just thinking that I'm being really a little too hard on myself. Things are going fast enough with my new cute lady friend like damn man where has my patience for some of these things. I'm going to get better and psychedelics are totally helping too... I'm thinking of trying Ibogaine next. I have Iboga total alkaloid extract, and a gram of pure ibogaine but I really want to research it, and microdosing too. I honestly think I can do it on my own from here on out though.
 
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Sounds like you're definitely on the right track. :)

Ibogaine changed my life. The biggest thing it did for me regarding opiates was remove my cravings, I have never had another craving which is incredible, miraculous because I had quit up to 8 months before, got back to feeling A-okay, and then I had a craving, went with it.... and 4 more years of even worse misery.

I will say though, that you really really need to prepare, and you NEED to have supervision. Ibogaine is not like other trips, you will not be able to take care of yourself. Someone needs to be around to make sure things are okay, the whole time. For most people it lasts about a day but for me it lasted 3 full days, on the 3rd day I thought I was with it but I was actually dreaming while awake and I did some crazy stuff that could have resulted in bad things. If you decide to go that route, please PM me and we can talk, having been through an at-home ibogaine flood dose, I know a lot and I really feel it's very important to know as much as you can and really be prepared. It's a huge commitment, it goes far beyond a psychedelic trip. Microdosing is also an option. I will say, the flood changed my life in so many ways, it basically reset my brain (it felt like) so I was not imprinted in my bad habits, not just opiates but in every area of my life. That allowed me to choose to establish good habits instead. It was like I woke up from a long nightmare of insanity my life had become, and I was just ME again, the core me, the real me, the empowered me.

I would say that as time goes on, if you're struggling, think about a flood dose. Don't just do it now, it seems like you're on the right path. Ibogaine is a big decision.
 
Hey man, I was really struggling this morning. I woke up infuriated, freaking out, having a panic attack. I'm really nervous specifically about performance anxiety because I took a few percocet last time and like it was soooooooo good but I can't last for shit now I don't have any opiates and I don't have any fuckin testosterone.

So I smoked some DMT out of my dab rig... 50mg but the vapour was harsh this time because I didn't wait long enough for the nail to cool down and then carb cap it but yeah like I still got the majority of the smoke. This trip, it was like asking myself questions and being real with myself and it was just me giving the answers I would give myself. No entity contact or anything like that this time... not really anyway.

I've worn myself to the fcking ground and I think the only psychedelic I will use in the near future is DMT. Every time has been serene, wonderful, enlightening, consciousness shifting, tranquil... it's my kind of psychedelic for sure. The answer was simple - just have a morning chat with her before we chill later and it's totally fine. It's post acute symptoms fucking with me and it's like I want to perform like before but not take any fucking opiates ever again.

Man I would flood dose it because all my most enlightening trips have been heavy ones. I feel like what you were describing happened to you has already started with me, I am just not quite there yet. I could never handle ibogaine right now but I definitely want to try it in the future (not even really for addiction issues, I'm just really curious about how it kind of looks like 5-meo-dmt and the natural ones are the best I find).

Even microdosing made me realize I was abused as a kid... it's powerful shit that's for sure. I am so not ready for that flood dose man. I'm packing a bag of fun stuff for my little date, and the message I got from the DMT trip was just like if you are this fucking worried just talk to her about it, so I did for an hour and she was super understanding. I need to give myself some time! And communicate what is going on to people close to me.

Whenever I'm really freaking out, DMT calms me down in a way (I definitely get prepared for the trip first). I'm sticking with that for now because 15 minutes is just enough time in psychedelia to keep me sane. I just need to give it time thanks for the advice by the way. I know I can do this it's pretty tough to get off heroin after so many years of being numb and not even knowing it.
 
Thanks for the suggestions. I am honestly doing so much better : ) the joy of life was right in front of my eyes and I couldn't fucking see it. The girl I'm seeing just told me she can't believe how much better I'm doing since we met. I can't either - but I've been hiking for exercise, I've been extremely physically active for how weak I've been feeling, my diet is superb, I have really been fighting hard and straight up cold turkey, never again type of thing. I have to get off benzos next and it is terrifying me as I have horrific panic attacks sometimes where for hours on end I feel my heart being squeezed in a fucking vice like I'm having a heart attack and that was before I got on them. I'm horrified and if anyone has been through benzo withdrawal, and wouldn't mind talking a little about it with me please don't hesitate to pm me. I already have a few friends to talk to but this is serious. I'm really really scared about that and just went through heroin withdrawal. This scares me so much more and I need to do it right away before it gets any worse.

To get on topic (and I have a question, I don't mean to derail thread haha, I'm just a dumbass like that), does anyone know if the blotters are evenly laid? I heard that like 4 of them were tested and the microgram amount varied? I know there is or was a slight controversy over this...
 
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