I tried 300ug of this last night and it was one of the most tremendous psychedelic experiences of my life, lots of previous experience with the wild psychedelics you can find growing in fields during Autumn, have used that famous naturally occurring smokeable tryptamine a fair few times and have tried the close relation of this substance twice before, once at a moderate dose, another time much heavier. I previously tried 150ug of this substance a week ago and found it to be pleasant, it had a very slow onset which built & built upon itself which i liked a lot but overall i couldn't help but feel that perhaps it was lacking a bit of depth
Leading up to this trip i fasted until dosing mid afternoon, at half an hour in it was already feeling very deep and genuine, i saw the usual OEV breathing effects on text and became aware of the underlying geometry behind this visual effect, it was flowing in, out, all around, back in, a force of encompassment, i became aware of how this same principle integrates all the things we become aware of in our lifetime, a nice insight into the most common visual i have on psychedelics
Creeping up to an hour it was showing a profound holiness, i felt like it knew i had been having my doubts about it and it was resolving those doubts, but how could it know? The molecule must be a key to a knowledge/force that exists independent of the molecule
Past the hour mark it was showing me deep places within myself that other psychedelics have revealed, hands folded spontaniously in prayer style, deep gratitude, but i still wanted to see what sets this substance apart and felt i had enough of it in my system for it to show me... "all one can do is remain conscious and see how things shift" i wrote in my trip log... feeling so great i wanted to redose but decided to let this one roll...
Over 2 hours in i became aware of how deeply therapeutic and healing this substance is, so loving, with the looming ban i feel a massive urge to get behind it but i don't have the funds or even if i did the network to realize the dreams of such vast distribution, i feel that it needs to be out there for the sake of humanity, the love i felt for humanity was so strong, i was thinking about the truth in Hofmanns (?) statement about Lucy being the antidote for the A-Bomb, and how relevant this particular version of that substance is to todays societal issues
At 3 hours in i decided to vaporize some herb and on reflection this was a big mistake, i always find herb mixes best at the tail end of a heavy trip not at the peak as it can quickly color/darken the trip. The combination of having fasted, with 2 blotters in my stomach, mixing in herbs that stimulate digestion, and my earlier intention of 'show me what sets you apart' led to me seeing how high this stuff can really take one, vibing with music became so orgasmic, inner visions were fully immersive, strands of DNA and unidentifiable prima materia explode all over my visual field, 150ug was mostly mental, this was more full on, breathwork coming into play...body movement to channel the energies flow, it made me wonder at what the ceiling dose with this stuff is, sheets were looking edible! Saner heads prevailed... for a while at least
With eyes closed but very aware of my bodies position sitting upright in a chair i saw my flesh disintegrate in moments leaving bones which just as swiftly crumbled to dust leaving in their wake visions of cosmic proportions, oblong shaped galactic discs whose centre was a white hole that took up 90% of the discs diameter, on the fringes of these ‘white holes’ was a surrounding band of purple light with specs of light embedded within it, as I looked closer i came to see that the specs of light were web like superclusters of galaxies themselves, as this vision broke apart and dissipated i saw the 'essence of eyes' beyond the light, symbols of cosmic awareness, this repeated a couple times, as soon as I opened my eyes I was back to the room, but if I closed my eyes I was in that same contemplation again watching my body decompose
Shortly after this i suddenly felt a surge of mental purge and felt 'this is the cleansing side of it', those concepts didn't form but that was the assured feeling, it didn't feel scary at first but actually interesting, the CEV's started to go haywire, i was having so many thoughts at the same time and each thought brought up another image so images were stacking upon one another, very incoherent, chaotic and unenjoyable
This is where shit gets serious, the nature of this psych can be very repetitive, so one doubt, one thought, 'this is weird' can repeat on itself over until things actually get weirder and weirder, so then the thought 'this is going somewhere dark' repeats on itself so it gets darker and darker more sinister and fearful, then the thought 'im losing it' which repeats on itself until that old psychedelic mindstate many of us know comes ' this is it, i'm going to lose it forever' repeats on itself, ad infinitum (or so it feels), this repetition propelled itself into a 'negative spiral' that filled my entire body and all i could do was watch it savagely tear my mind/thoughts/feelings apart, the first time it happened it reduced me to nothing, all i could do was See, it was a process of deeply refining perception, this 'negative' spiral happened a few times but each time after this i was either able to pull myself out of it by thinking positively or let it burn with hands folded and just watch it, this was really pushing me right to my very limits
It soon went back to the usual joy of the experience and at times i consciously called forth the fear again so i could face it and deal with it, just one thought of negativity (that something can even be negative) would repeat on itself until it started to take over, i could locate the fear as a knot below my navel that i could bring upwards and it would fill my whole being with negativity and i could only integrate it with total Love/Seeing
Deep lessons were learned through this, some of the deepest i have ever learned, what you fear is what you'll find, what you feed you will find, so don't feed the view that anything is negative or can be against you in any way, find the love within, let that be your feedlot, allow the mind to subside on this love alone, it showed me i have to love so equally and unequivocally or it isn't the full scope of the true love that exists, to not allow divisiveness to proliferate within the mind, and that ultimately there is no malevolence, life just keeps itself honest
I felt at moments i had to lose everything, all my trust, belief, doubts, faith, everything, it tore all ideas of myself apart, it showed me how much fear is within us all, and showed me how to integrate it as it arises, how to allow myself to 'break openly into it all', to break open those boundaries we build up around ourselves limiting the love that manifests in our world, i saw that a fundamental fear in the human mind is the fear that something can go 'wrong' at all and how to not entertain those fears
I learned how thoughts and feelings can stir up so many images but it is really best to remain imageless and unbound, to not associate my deepest self with thoughts and images, an example of thoughts bringing up images was when i thought of the word 'Ferrari' i saw morphing silhouettes all all the shapes i knew associated with that concept, flicking from old school F40's through to modern F1 racers, it was like i was seeing into the filing cabinet of the mind
The way the trip unfolded it was like it showed me the latent potential within humanity and then showed me what holds us back from realizing that potential
So, please disregard all previous reports including my own that put forward the notion that this is potentially a 'recreational psychedelic', it is not!!! It is a serious entheogen and as heavenly as it is it can also show you the other side of the coin and force you to integrate it all. Now this being said i still don't think there is unnecessary reason to fear as that can certainly feed on itself, i wouldn't want to perpetuate that mindset in anyone, this is still a very loving sacred substance, i feel we each get shown what we have to see, it can push each of us to our own limits, it's not the 'safe' or 'friendly' option when it comes to psychedelics, when it comes down to it it's just like any other proper entheogen, so yeah, this is a serious psychedelic after all, certainly not just for kicks and giggles!
glad you enjoyed the write up, i've read so many trip reports in these threads i felt i had to record it and then come back and share my findings with everyone, especially as this is such an amazing yet little known substance, i very much agree that it can be generally less forceful, both times i've tried it i felt that i could've been anywhere in the first few hours, the versatility of it felt so exciting, i even described it as recreational myself but both times towards the end i started to see that it can get intense and is quite a serious thing (to be fair could have been weeds influence both those times) it can seem so benign as some have said, i was even dreaming of eating a ten strip in the height of the trip as it felt so clean loving and gentle, but like any psychedelic it can decide it's time for you to purge!