loved your report Akbar.
I've been doing some trials with some 3-meo-pcp and MXP myself last month or so. Have had 4 experiences with the 3-meo-pcp and 3 with the MXP so far. Ideally I'd be taking more time between doses given all the warnings I've heard, but I've been starting low and working up. So roughly 3-4 days between trials starting with 5 mg 3-meo-pcp and 50mg MXP and have gone as high as 33 mg 3-meo-pcp and 200 mg MXP (that was today). Gonna stop the dosage ramp-up and try to space these out more. I think a week is the minimum I need between doses, probably more. Want it to stay clear like it is now. 3-meo-pcp is the winner, but the MXP kind of takes off where the other left off, so I'm not so clear about what unique to the drug. I definitely feel with 3-meo-pcp I can go into the experience more — with the MXP there is less experiential inter-penetration; the glow is offset so you don't feel it like you're in it. I'm just making things up to try and express myself, these things'll take some practice to put into words.
I feel it working on my consciousness, doing what, not sure, but it feels benign for now. Been carrying it around with me like an "other" this whole time; even on the days I haven't used it, it is still in my system affecting me somewhat. I have mixed feelings about this, but it's not unpleasant, just a more fluffy and non-linear way of being. Probably time to let it get out of my system some and see if there is anything lasting to these changes I've been feeling so I don't delude myself too much. I love the insights I get about myself. I see my flaws pretty magnified — like how I have this habit of confusing myself unnecessarily with things that don't matter. The people around me get confused too. Its really contagious so there's an extra responsibility to keep the vibe clean and relatable otherwise communication breakdown.
The experiences are amazing and otherworldly. Especially when you breakthrough to what I'll call the "vibronic" headspace. Think people who've tried this will know what I'm talking about with that description. Words become concepts that float slowly through some viscous fluid in a state of animated suspension. You can sit there and observe it like some curiosity but mostly theres no need for that. Experience is more direct. Not all that self-referential relating to oneself. Awareness takes textures like wood, polystyrene foams, etc, etc. I swear I can see my neurons at different points, like thin tissue cross-sections. I use coconut-based products on my skin, and those have worked their way into these experiences as well. It's hard to explain, like this feminine ovular, cellular anatomy thing — don't know enough about coconut biology to say really, but whatever, I get to experience the coconut in my skin products at the cellular level is my point.
I've been following this thread and it has helped me stay more disciplined learning from you all. I've been enjoying the flow of it all. Been exercising 5 days a week and always when I dose; it's really helping me not drift too far away into floaty land. Learning to pay more attention to my mind in action as it processes different things. You get a kind of space to see things happen, like they're slowed down for you. Have to remind myself to care more and take joy in being an observer of my own processes and those of others. More humility too. There so much autopilot to contend with and some days the contrast between my flaws and the in-tune version of me is really obnoxious cause I can see it so clearly.
