I have compulsion to trip on psychedelics and I am not functional while tripping. I easily tripped 2-3 times per week before this. I've had little trouble keeping my opiate use under control even after it became every day, but tripping I couldn't control. I would sometimes take rediculous doses or redose many times, often eyeballed. It was not uncommon for me to trip for 30+ hours at a time.
With opiates, I take just enough to help me deal with my social anxiety and depression(which seems to have gone away with depakote). I rarely use them to get really high, just using daily at the low end and occasionally tapering down to lower/eliminate tolerance during periods of low depression and anxiety provoking stimuli. I have no trouble keeping my use at what I consider a sane level.
My mother controls the safe. Yes, I'm 26 and still living at home, but that is because my parents are seperated, mom in poor health needs help with both everday tasks and finances, I go to college full time, and I have a 10 hour/week job along with several times each year getting big loads of obsolete computers(sometimes free sometimes for $200 orless) to dismantle and recycle ($1,500-$4,000 profit each time varying with amount and commodity prices), I make around $150/month on ebay, but it varies wildly with over $700 last time. I could leave home if I wanted and am not a freeloader. I pay my mom well for rent.
Some may see this as a showing of weakness and perhaps it is. I still say there is no need to change things when they are working so well. My mom knows I use drugs and accepts it. Now she has more peace of mind that nothings going to happen until she gets a request for use, then she knows what I am using and doesn't find me high as a kite conversing with beings in an unknown language unexpectedly. The thing with the safe is good for both our mental well beings and for my physical and academic well being.
I think there are others on this board who would benefit from a similar system and I feel no shame or weakness from implementing this plan. I think it was an intelligent decision to make.
My mother would usually figure out I was tripping before this anyway, so it makes her worry less, not more.
I don't know why it is psychedelics that I needed help with. I just love tripping more than anything else. It may be impossible to become physically addicted to them, but they have been extremely psychologically addictive to me. Good thing is that I don't spend too much time thinking about tripping when there is no way I can actually trip. I haven't craved the experience too much since they were locked away and I used up the small stash I kept out of the safe.
Having to ask my mom further reduces the likelihood of asking as I don't want her to think I'm a hopeless case. There are several sleeping meds with varying degrees of usefulness and fun and she gives me one of those before bed. I've got phenazepam the last two nights. Tomorrow the less enjoyable but effective amitriptyline. Then cyclobenzaprine. Then it will be carisoprodol. I'll cycle through a mix of fun and unenjoyable meds to prevent addiction and keep me from staying awake too much. Seroquell the antipsychotic is in there somewhere.