Sorry, Long post but I think it has some relevant info for those in this thread
Ok. Long post. No TL;DR because my thoughts and points are all interconnected, sorry. I also am tired now, so it may need an edit in the morning. Aplogies in advance if it's out of order or half written, or something.
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Thankfully I found Bluelight when I did because if I hadn't, I would have no doubt become another victim of the easily fallen into trap of benzo addiction. I used to think that if I had a script for (insert benzo here) that would solve all my problems. It actually caused a lot of problems on Bluelight here, but that's another story altogether. They are an absolutely necessary tool for some people, I consider myself one of them but I have never been dependant and have cut down my use considerably, especially after a recent binge made me re-evaluate how they were sometimes negatively affecting my life, both online and offline.
I need benzo's for certain things in my life, I won't go into particulars (Bluelight isn't one of them) but my body simply physically reacts extremely harshly to specific triggers and without benzo's I would either need to be drunk (which would not work most of the time for most situations), asleep (which would be even harder to make work in almost all situations) or simply avoid (which was always my preferred option, and still is sometimes when life is just too much).
However avoiding those things which I relied on benzo's to do only made the situations worse in the long run, and I'm still working on that, but I am getting better at confronting what used to be impossible to do without the help of anti-anxiety drugs. That's where I've found the most benefits from the short term use of benzo's, once your body (and mind) has been through those daunting tasks/places/actions/experiences, it becomes used to them and it becomes easier and easier to do each time. Eventually with the goal of having minimal or zero reliance on benzo's at all. When I know a trigger will happenm, I like to prepare by having some on hand to use as a last resort when things become too overwhelming for me, it can be comforting to know I have them but also empowering if I don't need to use them.
Benzo's are a very useful tool which IMO should be used as part of an overall anxiety management strategy, preferably with a counsellor or even friend of some kind which could incorporate things such as breathing techniques (more important than I used to think), meditation, counselling, mindfulness, chilling out, understanding your own body and mind and simply knowing what your triggers are and when you may need to take a breather, literally, in order to help yourself overcome a particularly difficult obstacle. Again IMO, benzo's should never be the first, and definitely not the only long-term aod for all of your anxiety, panic and stress disorders and if at all possible, they should not be used as a crutch for your mental life whenever you feel overwhelmed. It is easy to fall into addiction if you use them in that way.
I am not saying that there is nobody out there who doesn't need benzo's daily in order to live a normal, stable and fulfilling life, some people have gone through things I can't even fathom and I am not suggesting that this post is for them, nor am I attacking them or denying their existence. What I am trying to say is that if you suffer from anxiety, even moderate to severe anxiety, including panic attacks, you shouldn't be considering Valium, Xanax, Clonazepam or any equivalent as the first and/or only method of attacking the problem. That would be like attacking a deep splinter in your finger by cutting off your finger. You'd get rid of the splinter, but it would most likely be more detrimental in the long run than slowly prying out the splinter with time, antiseptic, needle, more time, and caution. Benzo's can cause a lot of harm when abused, especially if you end up addicted and they are very dangerous, potentially deadly to withdrawal from, which unfortunately some doctors don't even recognize which can make matters even worse when you find yourself addicted and with a doctor who doesn't understand the potential risks.
Some people may need to use benzodiazepines for longer periods than others and some may not need them at all. It's possible that finding a genuinely good counsellor that you can personally relate with will actually help you quicker than dropping a valium or 2, as that won't affect your mental ability and motor control.
In order to find out the why's and what's and learn to listen and understand why your body reacts to certain situations the way it does. They should not be used as the only treatment to a complex problem such as anxiety or panic attacks, but they are the best thing I've found to help tackle that initial indescribable fear that only those with anxiety can relate. You need to be able to confront those fears to overcome them, in my opinion, and without benzo's there is no way I could have.
I still use them on occasion, but if not for Bluelight, I'd think that they were going to be a magic bullet and I may have found myself dependant like many other unfortunate souls, which has the undesirable results of both dependance and the fact that they no longer work for their required purpose, they simply make you feel normal, and your anxiety is much worse when you don't have them in your system.
Instead of a witch-hunt on benzo's which seems to be happening in Australia, I would like to see other medicines researched for anxiety and related disorders such as LSD & MDMA for PTSD, marijuana for general anxiety (which doesn't work for me, in fact it has the opposite effect but it does work for a lot of people I understand) and countless other restricted drugs that are listed as having "no medical use" because they are either fun at certain dosages or analogues of those which may be fun, therefore making them unable to be studied due to the world's draconian drug laws and the war on people, I mean war on drugs.
I think the point I was trying to make was the drugs are good mmmkay, just don't overdo them, because they can be bad too. If you have a problem caused by anxiety that is preventing you from living your life you should talk to your doctor, but in general, GP's aren't trained in mental health so you'd probably want to see a psychologist or a psychiatrist (or both) which your GP should be able to refer you to.
I had abused Xanax heavily in the past for a couple of years, and wonder if this side effect may be because of my past use.
might have something to do with all the piss I drink as bennies n alcohol both work on your GABA receptors yeah?
