I wish I had better news for you...
Actually I do. Sort of. Everybody is different and reacts differently to such things. No foregone conclusions invovled. Sounds like we come from pretty similar (at least in some aspects) family backgrounds and - fwiw - in our case the level of fucked-upness varies from sibling to sibling. All are pretty fucked-up though
Believe me I understand the situation. Even when we all got put in a home for battered women my mother still fucked it off and took us back to live with him. Wish there was an easy answer. And there is: get the cunt locked up. I just wish life worked as easily as that cos then we wouldn't have half as many fucked up folk around and about the place
Am sorry I have nothing positive to say. But men like that are dangerous parasites. They need to be excised for the good of the whole. Mine is currently in prison - thank fuck - but he managed to screw up an entirely new family even worse than he screwed up his first one (that's my one) before anyone had the balls to do what needed to be done. In total that's over a dozen lives ruined as a direct result of one "man".
I'd call the police on him in a heartbeat in your situation... if only it wouldn't make things worse. Such actions need some co-ordination. In the case of my mother - when she finally got the message
and had a definite way out to look forward to - involved secret phone calls with codewords, police intervention, choreographed escape routes and death all round if it went wrong. Nasty bizniz are families sometimes. I feel your pain