• HEALTH & RECOVERY
    Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules Thread Directory 1 Thread Directory 2
    Mindfulness Links Addiction & Mind
    Sober Living Partner Program (SLiPP)
  • H&R Moderators: VerbalTruist

Recovery The 2023 Recovery Thread

somnilicious said:
Feeling blah.... I ran out of pot and I don't have anymore gabapentin(which is a good thing). I got my hopes up that a package would arrive today but it didn't so now I have a long day of absolutely nothing. Gotta admit that I have a problem. I just can't seem to be happy without drugs.

Oh....and today is exactly 3 calendar months off methadone
Woo hoo..... Fuck me.
Click to expand...
Green Tea w honey and lemon ? Poor you. I would be losing my !s##. ;);) 😯:rolleyes:
 
For some reason when I get good sleep with a lot of strong dreams there are 3 very specific spots on my brain that feel like they were getting electrocuted all night. It just feels raw and sore. Apon waking I can actually feel that the dream state was shocking those areas. It's hard to describe but a consequence of severe insomnia and years of methadone fucking up my sleep cycles and abolishing REM sleep. All these areas are located around the brain stem, Cerebellum, Pons and Medulla. 2 of the spots are a bit lower than the other and they are located on the left and the right of each side of the back of my head where my neck meets. The other is located a little bit higher in the center of the soft spot just below the skull but it feels a bit deeper. These aren't headaches. They are very localized to small specific areas and feel like a raw kinda burning sensation, which stays with me hours after waking.

and now coffee makes me immediately tired. Like extremely tired where I can barely resists laying down and closing my eyes but the strange thing is that I don't fall asleep because I get a little shot of what feels like cortisol just before I'm about to crossover and then my body is tense and restless so I have to get up.

Has anyone else ever experienced any of this?
 
Last edited:
no. just the zaps . . and gabap snaps.

but i don't think i have. i didn't even like the snaps from the zaps.

my brain anyway didn't like the gabapentin. unfortunately i use it. quite occasionally. and random. :alien:
 
he
endlessnameless said:
Do you find the red-strain Bali to be the best? I'm looking for whatever the best is for relief during opioid withdrawal and so far I've heard it's red-vein. Should I go for the extract? I'd imagaine that would be stronger so that was why I was considering it.

EDIT: It was actually this one that was recommended to me: https://www.nectarleaf.eu/product/maeng-da-powdered-leaf/
Click to expand...
yeah man, it helped me sleep a little at night. i use a white strain during the day. i’ve only had an extract shot once, and i didn’t feel it but i was also in active addiction so surely the fent covered it all up. i use powder so i don’t kill my tolerance. i have no idea how much i take a day but i’ll toss & wash a tablespoon every 4-6 hours or so. so maybe roughly 20g a day id assume. but if you choose red bali, be sure to take around 10g so you don’t get the speedy effect from it as you would with a low dose 💕

take care
 
n
somnilicious said:
For some reason when I get good sleep with a lot of strong dreams there are 3 very specific spots on my brain that feel like they were getting electrocuted all night. It just feels raw and sore. Apon waking I can actually feel that the dream state was shocking those areas. It's hard to describe but a consequence of severe insomnia and years of methadone fucking up my sleep cycles and abolishing REM sleep. All these areas are located around the brain stem, Cerebellum, Pons and Medulla. 2 of the spots are a bit lower than the other and they are located on the left and the right of each side of the back of my head where my neck meets. The other is located a little bit higher in the center of the soft spot just below the skull but it feels a bit deeper. These aren't headaches. They are very localized to small specific areas and feel like a raw kinda burning sensation, which stays with me hours after waking.

and now coffee makes me immediately tired. Like extremely tired where I can barely resists laying down and closing my eyes but the strange thing is that I don't fall asleep because I get a little shot of what feels like cortisol just before I'm about to crossover and then my body is tense and restless so I have to get up.

Has anyone else ever experienced any of this?
Click to expand...
never experienced any of that honestly :(

fuck that sounds rough. since i’m feeling normal again, i’m back on my coffee in the morning. sober me sucks down ciggies & coffee like fuck, lmao. maaaan i’d be so sad if caffeine did that to me :( is it just coffee or does a red bull etc do the same?

does sound cortisol or maybe adenosine related perhaps?
 
kiely said:
no. just the zaps . . and gabap snaps.

but i don't think i have. i didn't even like the snaps from the zaps.

my brain anyway didn't like the gabapentin. unfortunately i use it. quite occasionally. and random. :alien:
Click to expand...
oh man, i’d be so upset if morontin gave me brain zaps. it really helps keep my mood stable, especially post-detox.
 
somnilicious said:
I took a bunch of gabapentin yesterday as well. Then as soon as I drank a valerian and chamomile tea I was out like a light. I only slept 5hrs but it felt good and I was having some wild dreams.
Click to expand...
mate that’s 5 hours! better than the 30m a night you get(if that) in active addiction :)

that’s awesome.
 
a decent day… did some work outside and got some sunlight and wore myself out. mum got drunk, and started saying some pretty unproductive things in terms of my sobriety, which triggered me. she’s an abusive drunk when she drinks, so it’s sorta hard to deal with but i’ve dealt with it for 27 years now - as long as i’ve been on this space rock. have a crazy headache and my whole body aches after that little spat, i don’t have the energy to discuss things like what i did in active addiction, at least when it’s weaponized against me when i’m clean.

that really wore me out and took my spirit and slammed it on the ground. just laying in bed having a fag, && listening to lcd sound system, and just working on breathing right now.
 
tokayeahok said:
oh man, i’d be so upset if morontin gave me brain zaps. it really helps keep my mood stable, especially post-detox.
Click to expand...

Oh yes. I have to get used to it slowly. I need it. It helps. Pregabalin might be good for sleeping sometimes. I'm going to try it.
I wish there was an immune system suppression forum. I suffer too much.

It doesn't zap anymore though. I did get a headache from nasal spray yesterday.
 
Last edited:
kiely said:
Oh yes. I have to get used to it slowly. I need it. It helps. Pregabalin might be good for sleeping sometimes. I'm going to try it.
I wish there was an immune system suppression forum. I suffer too much.

It doesn't zap anymore though. I did get a headache from nasal spray yesterday.
Click to expand...
really cool in retrospect how a nerve pain medication can be so well for bipolar issues & mental health. that’s why i enjoy it. it’s sorta nice on occasion to stagger a higher dose, like 1800-2400mg but i only do that on occasion since tolerance builds so fast and the fluffy head feeling goes away with continued use. even when i don’t feel a ‘buzz’ from it, it keeps me really balanced and improves my quality of life. sad that it’s a scheduled substance in some states. thank the heavens it’s not here in south carolina!
 
tokayeahok said:
really cool in retrospect how a nerve pain medication can be so well for bipolar issues & mental health. that’s why i enjoy it. it’s sorta nice on occasion to stagger a higher dose, like 1800-2400mg but i only do that on occasion since tolerance builds so fast and the fluffy head feeling goes away with continued use. even when i don’t feel a ‘buzz’ from it, it keeps me really balanced and improves my quality of life. sad that it’s a scheduled substance in some states. thank the heavens it’s not here in south carolina!
Click to expand...

I know right. It's good half of the time for me but it's an acquired taste. It helped so much at times and other times I dose too much or not enough. But it sure does help at

times

so just knowing it is there if I need it is how I have to work with it now. Microdosing psychedelics of course will be the cure all for everything imho. And is probably too new to

be acceptable just yet. I don't have any opioids either right now. And see, I'm doing fine.
 
I got so much bad news today it's incredible. A guy is gonna pay me to put in 2 toilets for him. I've pretty much decided that I'm going to use the money to hotshot myself. I'm tired of pretending I'm OK. How Apropos that my last moments on life will be installing a toilet. Right before I flush it all down the drain.
 
w
somnilicious said:
I got so much bad news today it's incredible. A guy is gonna pay me to put in 2 toilets for him. I've pretty much decided that I'm going to use the money to hotshot myself. I'm tired of pretending I'm OK. How Apropos that my last moments on life will be installing a toilet. Right before I flush it all down the drain.
Click to expand...
whoa whoa whoa sommni, let’s take a few breaths bruv 🥺

you don’t have to be okay. it’s OKAY to not be okay. mate you’ve come so far since you’ve gotten off methadone. take that money and give it to someone close, and tell them to hold on to it for you. find some clothes you may want to buy, or an instrument, or go out to eat.

breathe bruv, just take a few breaths and sit with yourself. you don’t have to be okay. or pretend to feel okay. allow yourself to be okay with not being okay. it’s going to be alright man, i promise. so many of us care for you && want you around
 
DE6Rwss.png
 
tokayeahok said:
w

whoa whoa whoa sommni, let’s take a few breaths bruv 🥺

you don’t have to be okay. it’s OKAY to not be okay. mate you’ve come so far since you’ve gotten off methadone. take that money and give it to someone close, and tell them to hold on to it for you. find some clothes you may want to buy, or an instrument, or go out to eat.

breathe bruv, just take a few breaths and sit with yourself. you don’t have to be okay. or pretend to feel okay. allow yourself to be okay with not being okay. it’s going to be alright man, i promise. so many of us care for you && want you around
Click to expand...
Thanks for trying to help but I've pretty much made up my mind. This isn't a spur of the moment thing. I've been thinking about it a long time. I've been miserable for a very long time. I already told my dad who just looked at me and then went back to reading his book. I'm like 85% positive I'm going to do this. I just hope it will do the trick because I'd be crushed if it doesn't work.
 
somnilicious said:
Thanks for trying to help but I've pretty much made up my mind. This isn't a spur of the moment thing. I've been thinking about it a long time. I've been miserable for a very long time. I already told my dad who just looked at me and then went back to reading his book. I'm like 85% positive I'm going to do this. I just hope it will do the trick because I'd be crushed if it doesn't work.
Click to expand...
somni, man.

i know how you feel, mate. i do.
what can we do as a community to pull that 85% to 0%? we’re here for you man. you are loved, you are cared for.

you’ve come so far. you can do this man 🥺 can i give you my personal phone number via dm so we can talk or something?

just remember feelings are temporary. please wait this out & try to place it on impulsive thinking. it WILL go away.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top