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Recovery The 2022 alcohol support thread

Negentropic said:
benzos + alcohol together.
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Crazy combo lol. Before my detox I was prescribed them and was drinking on top of them. I just always blacked out and woke up injured a lot.

Edit:
Also may as well just add while I'm here... I'm struggling today and have been for a while find myself looking for excuses to relapse and being mad at myself for caring (cause it stops me from being able to have it) especially the last week or so. Yesterday was pretty rough and today is just as bad. I have a plan b but could murder a drink and it's so easy to do, even inviting. I didn't go to my SMART recovery one-to-one today which hasn't helped. I feel like it's only a matter of time... Hoping this will get better though. Not giving up yet, but it's a funny argument to constantly have with myself/s - the self who wants to believe the futures bright and I can do it and deserve it and the other self who just wants to say fuck this, fuck everybody and everything I wanna drown my sorrows and dont think about the consequences

Edit: sober hans! And it's 12am
 
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Anyone ever try l-theanine regarding alcohol cessation?

Mainly just want to get a little better sleep

I guess it can help regulate glutamate and to a lesser extent gaba
 
I turned to it a bit this last week because of anxiety and jeez, it's such a wild card of a drug.

The best effect I had was the psychological effect I mentioned (coming off meth, crazy anxiety, calmed right down cos *had* alcohol there, but realised I'd only taken a few sips).

When I actually drink the stuff it's unpredictable. I don't like that.


I always notice people coming out of the bottle shop and there were a couple of guys today with bottles of spirits. Mum was telling me she watched a show on Monday night on Bon Scott, who died from alcohol poisoning at 33yo.

 
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"please stop drinking, you don't give me attention or play with me when you drink"
 
Negentropic said:
please stop drinking, you don't give me attention or play with me when you drink
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This brought tears cause it is true that we are not the only ones who are destroyed by our "habits".
I adore yer cat, bro.
Mine were a part of my coming to life: I got soooo tired of looking at them looking to me for a healthy life. I caved. We are now inseparable... I would rather die.
Please take care of our little friend?
:In love:
 
6am-64-14m said:
This brought tears cause it is true that we are not the only ones who are destroyed by our "habits".
I adore yer cat, bro.
Mine were a part of my coming to life: I got soooo tired of looking at them looking to me for a healthy life. I caved. We are now inseparable... I would rather die.
Please take care of our little friend?
:In love:
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yes, it bothers me a lot

I usually wake up at 6am, but when I'm hungover I don't... but my cat notices, he usually is doing zoomies and wants to play at 6am, when I wake up, that's our designated play time...

but when I drink I just lay in bed for awhile, and he knows it and seems to be depressed on the drunk days, when I don't play with him in the morning

He will meow and paw my face at 6:15am, and all I can do is brush him off and feel horrible

it breaks my heart every time

the darkness of alcohol, it's incontinent attitude....
 
Negentropic said:
seems to be depressed on the drunk days
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We need healthy stimuli to grow big. :) All of us.
Little man is very fortunate to have you and you him. I feel the both of you are at a great advantage having each other and sadly this may not be obvious for some time. In the here and now? We can all see that you give each other comfort and a taste of what life may really be about.
As long as you stay alive and are around to play zoomies occasionally I think he is fine with that just try not to take it away yeah?
Sorry man I do not know why I am trying to express his perspective I just feel that nature is not that disconnected to where we cannot see from the others eyes.
Maybe I need a visit to the cuckoos nest.... :unsure:
 
6am-64-14m said:
Maybe I need a visit to the cuckoos nest.... :unsure:
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I feel like going to detox or impatient again for some reason. I'm not physically dependent on anything, but I miss that structure in my life.

idk it seems to get me on track you know

I've had a lifetime of that AA 12 step bullshit, I know it like the back of my hand now... but I still want to go... idk... always seems like a lighthouse in the chaos at this point

have I been institutionalized?
 
Negentropic said:
always seems like a lighthouse in the chaos at this point
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I treated christianity this way. It was what I knew and/or what I was taught coming up and it was very popular. It was the "light" and those in doubt or darkness were to seek it. After several failed attempts and more years lost tonthis cause I gave up from that self-disappointment we were on about earlier. I do not disrespect anyones beliefs but this path was not sustainable for me.
Negentropic said:
have I been institutionalized?
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Maybe...? I was. Every time I felt like life was being mean to me I would run to the cross. It helped me feel better about myself either through self righteousness or beliving that all would be well cause that is what the savior is for. IDK, brother. Lots of mind stuff going on there that I cannot waste a lot of time on.
I will say that there was no majic bullet that saved me. I still do not feel safe as my track record keeps me in doubt. Will mever say I will not fuck up royally or veer off my current path. I can only say that I am confident that if I fall back a step I will leap ahead two. There is a factor that can set me back to prehistory but until that happens I really do not know what will happen.
A coctail of many years of despair/misery, one unconditional love, a hell of a support group and a few furry babies has seemed to at least provided a general direction to go in that I may (and have) find some comfort. Maybe just staying alive through it all is good enough...? Maybe just doing what I do best (procrastinate) has finally paid off? Maybe my non commital ass has found something I feel worth my time/energy to commit to? There are more Qs than As as always. ;)
I have no doubt you can do whatever the fuck it is you must and attain more than you can expect. Time, patience and tolerance.
Best
 
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Negentropic said:
I feel like going to detox or impatient again for some reason. I'm not physically dependent on anything, but I miss that structure in my life.

idk it seems to get me on track you know

I've had a lifetime of that AA 12 step bullshit, I know it like the back of my hand now... but I still want to go... idk... always seems like a lighthouse in the chaos at this point

have I been institutionalized?
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I totally empathise with this man. Whenever I've gone off the rails big time and can't find my way back, I've felt the need to go back in to inpatient detox. It's a little safe haven in which you can get your shit together and reset, ya know? So yeah, I totally get it.
Maybe you should, if that's what you feel you need right now?
 
n3ophy7e said:
I totally empathise with this man. Whenever I've gone off the rails big time and can't find my way back, I've felt the need to go back in to inpatient detox. It's a little safe haven in which you can get your shit together and reset, ya know? So yeah, I totally get it.
Maybe you should, if that's what you feel you need right now?
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I've never been to detox/rehab. It seems hard to get into unless you're loaded?
 
AbbeyLee said:
I've never been to detox/rehab. It seems hard to get into unless you're loaded?
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Not in Australia honey. Yes, a lot of them are private and you either have to pay $1,000s or have top cover private health insurance, but there are detoxes and rehabs funded by Medicare. You just have to find them.
Hospitals will also do 5-day medicated alcohol detoxes covered by Medicare, due to the high risk nature of the detox process i.e. seizure risk etc. For that you literally just have to present at the ER and you will be admitted at the discretion of the doctors.
 
n3ophy7e said:
Not in Australia honey. Yes, a lot of them are private and you either have to pay $1,000s or have top cover private health insurance, but there are detoxes and rehabs funded by Medicare. You just have to find them.
Hospitals will also do 5-day medicated alcohol detoxes covered by Medicare, due to the high risk nature of the detox process i.e. seizure risk etc. For that you literally just have to present at the ER and you will be admitted at the discretion of the doctors.
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My dad and I were looking pretty desperately last year and I ended up having to detox myself (the only reassurance being I'd withdrawn from booze and benzos before without seizures).

I've got a feeling it depends where you are and I'm 1.5 hours south of Melb. Every place we tried referred us back to the drug and alcohol people based at the hospital down here..
 
And the dumbest thing is.. We've got money 😐 Not "loaded" but more than a lot of people.

It did coincide with the pandemic and lockdowns (Melb being the most locked-down city in the world), but social/medical services here have been absolutely shot to hell while the population has exploded.

That's why I voted in the best possible way to get rid of this piece of shit government 🤬
 
AbbeyLee said:
It did coincide with the pandemic and lockdowns
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Ohhhh okay, yeah, one of my best mates was trying to get in to a detox to get clean off H in 2020 and everywhere that was publicly funded was either temporarily closed or permanently shut down due to the pandemic. And that was in the middle of Sydney.
 
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