There once was guy who's wife went to the hospital to give birth and wow was he excited! The doctor called him and said "Well, I've got some good news and some bad news. The good news is your son was born healthy and handsome with blue eyes just like his father. The bad news is that he was born without legs, arms, or a torso."
The father was naturally upset but he vowed to raise his son well and on the boy's 18th birthday he tearfully told him he was proud of him and it was time for his first drink. He gathered him up in his basket, and carried him down to the local pub, and set him down on the bar for his first drink. The father ordered the biggest, strongest drink he could think of, complete with a straw, while the bartender looked on suspiciously.
The boy took his first sip and whoosh! Out popped a torso.
The pub was dead silent for a moment before the patrons erupted with cheers and the father nearly hit the ceiling with joy, shouting to his son "Take another sip! Take another sip!" but the bartender just shook his head with disapproval.
The boy took his second sip and whoosh! Out popped two legs.
Again the pub erupted in cheers, with the father leaping up with joy, shouting " Take another son!" and again the bartender just stood there shaking his head in disapproval.
The boy took the third sip and whoosh! Out popped two arms.
By now the pub was positively rocking and the father dancing a jig. "Another son, you're a man now!" The bartender just walked away.
By now the boy was starting to get pretty tipsy and he grabbed the glass with both new hands and swallowed the rest in one gulp.
He stood up on his two new legs and staggered first to the left, then to right and then out the front door, where he was promptly run over by a passing bus and killed.
The pub was silent and the father wailed in grief. The bartender just sighed and said "He should have quit while he was still ahead."
