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And i know one extremely violent and racist one. Like even past my limits. I've only ever whispered it in people's ears. Which on second thought probably makes it even weirder.
 
streaM Freak said:
And i know one extremely violent and racist one. Like even past my limits. I've only ever whispered it in people's ears. Which on second thought probably makes it even weirder.
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The best joke I heard was so close to the edge that the guy telling it was struggling to get the punch line out ,he kept laughing before he got to the end
 
i went to the doctor,

i told him...hey doc you gave six months to live and look i am still here,

the doc said...i am giving you six months more, you owe me money.
 
talk slow...i'm blonde

~~

Hahaaa

~~

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.

After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.

She says, What's the story?

He replies, Just crap in the carburetor

She asks, How often do I have to do that?
 
A burglar breaks into a house and is tiptoeing around when he hears a voice say " Jesus is watching you".
Startled, he looks all around but sees nobody so he starts disconnecting the TV. Suddenly he hears the voice again, louder this time, "Jesus is watching you". He jumps behind the couch and looks all around but again sees nobody, so he scratches his head and gets back to work.
Finally a third time he hears the voice, louder than ever but this time he notices it's coming from a big green parrot in a cage.
He laughs and goes over to the bird and says " Is your name Jesus?"
The parrot replies " No, my name is Moses"
The burglar says " Moses? What kind of a dipshit names his parrot Moses?"
The parrot replies " The same kind of dipshit who names his Rottweiler Jesus"
 
chippermonk said:
A burglar breaks into a house and is tiptoeing around when he hears a voice say " Jesus is watching you".
Startled, he looks all around but sees nobody so he starts disconnecting the TV. Suddenly he hears the voice again, louder this time, "Jesus is watching you". He jumps behind the couch and looks all around but again sees nobody, so he scratches his head and gets back to work.
Finally a third time he hears the voice, louder than ever but this time he notices it's coming from a big green parrot in a cage.
He laughs and goes over to the bird and says " Is your name Jesus?"
The parrot replies " No, my name is Moses"
The burglar says " Moses? What kind of a dipshit names his parrot Moses?"
The parrot replies " The same kind of dipshit who names his Rottweiler Jesus"
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One of my Favorites ever !! Yes, the Bird is the Word. <3🦜<3


;);)
 
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