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Yup, Quasimodo retired ... and today
is left with a lump sum and 30 years back pay !!!
 
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Cheshire_Kat said:
A long time ago a sailor was shipwrecked and washed up on the shores of a small island. As he explored his new home he found out that a group of scientists had been stranded there for years before his arrival. They had found plenty of food and fresh water and were happily living there without much of a problem. They had even started to develop their own customs because they had decided that they were better off there than they had been when living in the civilized world.

Since there was very little entertainment available they had made it a custom that they all would gather at sunset and tell jokes about their predicament. Because they were scientists and were also interested in saving time and being organized, they had decided that it was much better to number all the jokes and simply call out the number. The sailor, not being a scientist, scoffed at the idea, but they all tried to convince him that this way was better.

One scientist yelled out 100, and the rest started laughing, some falling to the ground and others slapping others on their back exclaiming "that's a good one" !'
Another yelled 63, and there was laughter everywhere, some even breaking out in tears.

Then the leader of the scientists went up to the sailor and says to him, "go ahead and give it a try!".

So the sailor shouts out 11 ...

Absolute silence. So he shouts out 37.

Still silence amongst the scientists.

So the sailor asks the leader, why aren't they laughing.

The leader looks at him sadly and says "Just practice a bit, it's all in the delivery"
Click to expand...

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Three elderly grandmas were sitting on a bench outside the nursing home, when an elderly grandpa walked by. One of the grandmas called out:
Hey! We bet we can tell exactly how old you are !

The Old Dude says :
There’s no way you can guess my age ! Another grandma laughed and said:

Sure we can! Just drop your pants and undershorts— and we’ll tell your exact age !
Embarrassed, but eager to prove them wrong… he dropped his drawers. The grandmas asked him:

Turn around a couple of times… now jump up and down a few times ! Determined, he did exactly that.
Then, all the three grandmas shouted:

You’re eighty-nine years old ! The older grandpa dude, standing there with his pants around his ankles, gasped:

How in the world did you guess my age ? The three old ladies slapped their knees, high-fived, and grinned from ear to ear.
They very happily shouted :

We were at your birthday party yesterday ! 🎉🎊🎉

😁
 
An elderly lady was sitting on a bench crying. Someone asked what was wrong.
I have a hunky 22year-old husband at home. He rubs my back every morning, makes me breakfast, freshly ground coffee.

Confused, about this she got asked again about Why she was crying ?
She just said, He makes my favorite lunch with soup and brownies and then watches TV with me for the rest of the afternoon.

Finally, again she was asked "Then why in the world are you crying ?

She finally sniffles with tears and still crying says, There's just one PROBLEM.
I don't remember where I live !!!

😭
 
:ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:

A man comes home late one night drunker than skunk.
His wife asks him where he's been !
Her husband says In the Golden Bar.

They have golden chairs, golden glasses, golden beer, and a golden urinal !
This sounds awfully suspicious to the Wife, who calls the Golden Bar.

She asks if they have golden chairs ? it's Yes
She asks if they have golden glasses ? it's Yes
Then Do you have golden beer ? it's Yes again
She asks if they have a golden urinal too ?

She was told to Hold on.

On the other end she hears yelling across the Bar .... ....
I think we have a line on the guy who pissed in your Saxophone !
 
Now on sale at IKEA - LESBIAN beds, no nuts or screwing involved, it's all tongue and groove...


Someone got sacked at their job as a bingo caller the other day. Apparently,'A meal for two with a hairy view' isn't the best way to announce number 69.


🤪
 
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