Social Tell a Joke

[chippermonk]

A father went with his 8 year old son to the drugstore to buy some some aspirin for his wife. While he was shopping, his son noticed the shelf of condoms.
He picked one up and asked in a shy little voice: " Gee, Daddy, what are these?"
His father answered " Oh, son, those are called condoms. High school boys wear one on their penises when they go out for a date on Saturday night."
"Oh, I see Daddy. But why do these other ones come in a package of 3?"
"Well you see, son, those are for the college boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday."
" Gosh Daddy, then why do these ones come in packs of 12?"
"Well, son, those are for the married men. One for January, one for February, one for March..."

 

[Robi]

I bought some shoes from drug dealer,I don't know what they were laced with but Ive been tripping all day.

 

[kiely]

If it smells like shit. You must'a quit !

 

[kiely]

when I was a child my parents told me to

reach for the stars. and when I was older I came to realize that were I to actually touch one I would be vaporized.

 

[ions]

I have so many jokes about unemployed people.
But none of them work.

 

[Kellsee]

There once was someone that wanted to tell a joke but they couldn’t because now it’s against the law.

 

[ions]

I think it's illegal for me to go to a Mets game. They're playing the phillies wednesday afternoon.

 

[ions]

Baldwin is a cool name. it is the opposite of hairloss

 

[ions]

My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing him.
Went out. Had a few drinks. Nice guy. He's a web designer.

 

[Cheshire_Kat]

I just got a new part time job at the watch factory.

It doesn't pay much but all I have to all day is make faces.

 

[kiely]

You're my favorite turd. I would never shit you.

 

[kiely]

The funniest joke I have ever heard ...
Politics.

 

[kiely]

What do bluelighters use for contraception ?

Their personality.

 

[kiely]

Ask a wise guy/gal IF they EVER figured out WHY the asylum NEVER reported them missing !

 

[kiely]

Arguing with toddlers :

Me: Fact
Them: You're stinky!

 

[kiely]

What did the buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?
One with everything.

 

[kiely]

glew is the past tense of glow

 

[kiely]

What do you call a bunch of whites running down a hill?
Avalanche.
What do you call a bunch of blacks running down a hill?
Mudslide.
What do you call a bunch of women running down a hill?
Nothing. They're too stupid to know how to run down a hill.
( it's supposed to be a bunch of blonds, but you know that's not true !!! or nice )

 

[kiely]

whats the difference between 3 dicks and a joke ?




your mom can't take a joke .

 

[kiely]

Why did the hooker go to church?

He had to pay his gas bill


( i don't know either but if you know the real punch line let me know )