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The guy who invented ritalin actually named it after his wife Rita who took it on a regular basis for low blood pressure...
Which leads me to wonder what drug did he name after his mistress? And what excuse did she need to get hooked?
"You'll have to wait your turn, I'm cooking up a new batch for my wife!"
 
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WARNING:
This is a bad joke. Very bad. If you don't like puns, skip it. Also, "getting" this joke requires some knowledge of British&American pop culture in the 1960s/1970s.
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Sometime in the late 70s the Rolling Stones attended a party at the Playboy Mansion. There were all kinds of celebrities there: musicians, stars of film and TV, etc. At one point Mick Jagger decided to take a look around the place. He was wandering the hallways, looking into the many rooms. He opened one door and was shocked by what he saw happening inside: there was Hugh Hefner sodomizing Dennis Weaver. Utterly appalled, Mick shouted:

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Hey! Hugh! Get off of McCloud!
 
darvocet21 said:
Fuck the government they can suck my balls, no joke
Click to expand...
you would give them that honor?
No Way Wow GIF
 
Another very bad joke. And before y'all accuse me of being anti-LGBTQ+, it was first told to me by a gay friend....

A lesbian and a gay guy are roommates. They suddenly have to move to a different place and they need to be quick about it.
Who is ready to move out the fastest?

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It's a tie.
The lesbian is lickety-split but the gay guy already has his shit packed.
 
Have you met Bruce Lee's vegetarian Brother . . .
Broco Lee

And his Brother who can't take a joke,
Serious Lee

And the one throwing shades all the time, Sarcastic Lee


And the one who is always last minute, Sudden Lee


And the one who is always so sure of himself,
Definitely Lee

Let's not forget about the one whom everyone can predict,
Usual Lee

Aa
 
I just thought I would respectfully mention that taking a deep breath
of freezing Arctic air would be, well, would be considered a cold day inhale.
 
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