Social Tell a Joke

[darvocet21]

"if I was a girl I would take off all my clothes and look at myself in the mirror all day long"
— Teen boy at boarding school, The World According to Garp

 

[ions]

I ran out of quik joe, now it’s just icy joe.

 

[DeucerPro]

(I was searching for a place to put drug jokes specifically but i don’t see anything.)

Okay so this crackhead walks into a bank …

(Da dum dum Tish!!)

 

[DeucerPro]

There are these two crackheads that die And that show up at the pearly gates before Saint Peter. They ask if they can come in and Saint Peter says that he needs need to go talk with God so hold on a moment.

Saint Peter goes and explains to God that there are 2 Crackheads waiting at the pearly gates and he wants to know if God wants him to let them in…

God asks Peter to go back to check on them. He does but finds that they are gone!!

Saint Peter returns To God to explain how they had vanished. God ask him what he even means… So Saint Peter tells God again that they are simply gone. The crackheads stole the pearly gates and took off.

 

[FixXxer]

I finally made it..
I've got a man chin

 

[darvocet21]

There are these two crackheads that die And that show up at the pearly gates before Saint Peter. They ask if they can come in and Saint Peter says that he needs need to go talk with God so hold on a moment.

Saint Peter goes and explains to God that there are 2 Crackheads waiting at the pearly gates and he wants to know if God wants him to let them in…

God asks Peter to go back to check on them. He does but finds that they are gone!!

Saint Peter returns To God to explain how they had vanished. God ask him what he even means… So Saint Peter tells God again that they are simply gone. The crackheads stole the pearly gates and took off.

Funnier

 

[jasperkent]

Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time, too.

That is a relatively good joke.

 

[DeucerPro]

I just saw

Come smell how good I look.

the white cat… thought maybe ‘twas meant for me until I saw IDGAF. Then, I knew it was made for me.

 

[DeucerPro]

I love cats as much as the next guy..
but those neighbors keep talking about purr cassettes
how many different recordings can there be?
i'd get it if they made it on cd

HEY!!!!!!!!!

 

[darvocet21]

HEY!!!!!!!!!

Funny but not as good as the cat that goes whoa! Can anybody find that video again

 

[FixXxer]

i complimented her gravy
to which she replied. "au jus"
i think she likes me

 

[Robi]

what did the banana say to the vibrator? why you shaking? It me shes going to eat

 

[jasperkent]

Freudian Slip: When you say one thing but you mean your mother

 

[darvocet21]

Freudian Slip: When you say one thing but you mean your mother

Freud was the great genius of the Industrial Age, even Carl Jung continued to pay homage to Freud's singular Insight that the conscious world cannot possibly be the extent of reality, things just can't be that lame

 

[ions]

He got up. Bonerific.

 

[darvocet21]

He got up. Bonerific.

Morning wood

 

[hylite]

My grandma is 80% Irish

People call her Iris

 

[Jabberwocky]

My penis was in the Guinness Book of World Records.

Until the librarian told me to take it out.

 

[hylite]

I'm writing a book about all the thins I should be doing in my life.

It's an oughtobiography.

 

[darvocet21]

I'm writing a book about all the thins I should be doing in my life.

It's an oughtobiography.

I can't wait to read the coulda' woulda' shouylda' chapter , let's just say I'm not holding my breath