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TDS Social~EveryOne Look at Your Neighbor With Love

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I wish I could buy some happiness, because buying life's simple pleasures doesn't seem to cut it. :(
 
we all keep these lives
we all only inhabit our life until we accept all living -
as love: the sweetest bitter oil:
the scent we follow only until -
it becomes the air;
the beauty we wish to hold tightly -
but seldom dared .
 
I think I'm broken or something. At least not myself.
My eating habits are messed up, so is my sleep schedule.
My attention span is nowhere near what is used to be.
And today I missed my final, as I wrote the time down incorrect in three different places. That's not me, I check my alarm every night twice, I make lists of everything. Its not probable that I would screw something that monumental up.

Life's weird right now, guys.
 
Hey pretty lady, it's nice to see you in here <3 Although not so nice considering the circumstances :(
Has anything changed in your life recently that might be causing you distraction? Have you ever been depressed before?
 
My community is getting ready for a 500 year flood. Its a weird thing with having to release water from dams one and two states away. I'm a good two miles away from the Mighty Mo and very high so I won't be effected. Something that made me feel good there was a call for volunteers to fill sandbags and make make shift extra levys. The volunteer response was so high they pretty quickly had to put out notice through many media outlets that no more volunteers were needed at this time. I'm fairly confident that many of those folkks showing up didn't have property in jeopardy. I think most people really want to do even more good stuff than they are already doing but don't know where to start or aren't sure how they could really be helpful.

That leads me to my PollyAnna story. Really a PollyAnna story. It was a title of a Disney movie that became an almost derisive term for optimism. At some point in the movie the die hard optimist PollyAnna is asked about her inspiration for her optimism and shows a doom & gloom preacher who was asking a locket. The Locket has in it a quote said to be from Abraham Lincoln. "If you look for the worst in man you shall surely find it."

I honestly don't recommend seeing PollyAnna. It was a pretty dreadful movie.
 
Enki-- good luck with the flood; it sounds like it's a controlled release, so you at least are able to get a good bit of warning.

AEP-- That was my worst nightmare when I was in school. You're able to write a deferred exam, I hope? Regarding the weirdness: it's disconcerting when life goes a bit strange on you, but when it happens I try to remember that nothing, good or bad, is permanent. This too shall pass. It can be cold comfort at times, but it has helped me through some tough times, and has kept my feet on the ground during some good ones. Feel free to PM any time if you need an ear. :)
 
Enki, as Dave said, good luck with the flood! I've never heard of a controlled dam release, how often do they do it, and under what circumstances? Like, is it a regular thing, or just when it's been raining a lot?
 
neo and Dave,It is a bizarre thing regarding the flood. They relied on forecasts and thought things would require much less release at this point than they are needing to do now. We are going to be flooding a lot along the Missouri weather we get any rain or not. June 15th is going to be release upstream several times greater than the most ever released before. Levys have already broken in nearby communities we have warning but we know its going to be like nothing ever experienced to date.

How we got to this point? Politicians are questioning the Corps of Engineers about that. I expect that other than mountain snow that is still melting I wouldn't understand the answers.
 
n3ophy7e said:
Hey pretty lady, it's nice to see you in here <3 Although not so nice considering the circumstances :(
Has anything changed in your life recently that might be causing you distraction? Have you ever been depressed before?
Click to expand...

Nothing comes to mind except a year long relationship that ended abruptly and without reason a few weeks ago. I'm hesitant to call it depression and even more wary to blame this funk on the break up, I feel like it shouldn't be a big deal. This feeling's completely new, I've never been depressed in the past as I'm normally a really optimistic and positive person.

Its weird and not fun.

Dave said:
Enki-- good luck with the flood; it sounds like it's a controlled release, so you at least are able to get a good bit of warning.

AEP-- That was my worst nightmare when I was in school. You're able to write a deferred exam, I hope? Regarding the weirdness: it's disconcerting when life goes a bit strange on you, but when it happens I try to remember that nothing, good or bad, is permanent. This too shall pass. It can be cold comfort at times, but it has helped me through some tough times, and has kept my feet on the ground during some good ones. Feel free to PM any time if you need an ear. :)
Click to expand...

Thanks dude, I may take you up on that <3
As far as the exam my professor has to speak with the department's undergrad adviser tomorrow, and she just happens to be my boss and is happy with my work so hopefully that will turn out well for me. We'll see.

And yes, I know this will pass. Its just so unsettling that focusing on that is a bit difficult. Blahhh, silly life.
 
I'm so glad I know someone with a pool this summer. I went to the beach only once last year, hence went swimming only once. I really hate the heat, so these next few months should be more bearable than in the past.

On a less happy note, I am sick of being unemployed, it makes me feel lazy and useless. On the same token, I've been out of a job for so long that I feel much anxiety getting a new one.
 
anterrabae said:
I'm so glad I know someone with a pool this summer. I went to the beach only once last year, hence went swimming only once. I really hate the heat, so these next few months should be more bearable than in the past.

On a less happy note, I am sick of being unemployed, it makes me feel lazy and useless. On the same token, I've been out of a job for so long that I feel much anxiety getting a new one.
Click to expand...


The actual applying for jobs process is more stressful than the interview process in my opinion. You feel like a fool asking for applications or dropping off resumes. Speaking of which I plan to do just that once I get off work today. Just do it and get it over with.

Update- I get to retake the final exam in September with the summer session class. This gives me two whole months to study for one exam. At least that turned out well. Now to try and get everything else taken care of.
 
Apparently I'm a missing person, and I didn't know it.
I woke up to a voicemail from the police saying that my mother had reported me missing.
Obviously, I'm not missing.
So I go down to sign off on it and read the police report, and my fucking blood is boiling.
My mother referred to me as certain things and said things that I swear to god, I better never see the fucking cunt again or I'll have to restrain the urge to kill her with my bare hands.
What the police report says about me is just twisted, fucked and wrong.
The fact that she reported me missing though, is funny. I haven't had contact with the bitch for months by choice.

After that ordeal I googled my name out of interest and found alot of shit that would give away my secrets and personal life if someone went to the trouble of googling me.

I think at this point, I'd rather be a missing person. Fuck this shit.
 
@aep: hooray! The other stuff will be fine, I'm sure (sorry to hear about the split :(). Keep in mind that it's okay to feel bad. Just don't let it take you over; a small risk, considering the sort of person that you at least appear to be. :)

@zap: what the flying fuck! There's got to be some sort of civil action that you could take against her. Libel at least, not to mention wasting your (and the police department's) time and resources. Talk to a lawyer, ferreal.
 
amanda_eats_pandas said:
Nothing comes to mind except a year long relationship that ended abruptly and without reason a few weeks ago.
Click to expand...
Ummm hun, that is actually a pretty major thing to happen. I'm sorry to hear about the break-up, that shit is never fun especially when you had no idea it was coming.
amanda_eats_pandas said:
I feel like it shouldn't be a big deal.
Click to expand...
Why?? I suspect that if you allow yourself to acknowledge how much the break-up has affected you, you can "grieve" the end of the relationship and move on. You don't have to admit it to anyone else if you're not comfortable doing so, but perhaps just admit it to yourself and allow yourself to process the emotions and everything. If you continue to ignore the way it's made you feel, you might feel worse, for longer.
<3 *hugs*
 
Enki said:
My community is getting ready for a 500 year flood. Its a weird thing with having to release water from dams one and two states away. I'm a good two miles away from the Mighty Mo and very high so I won't be effected. Something that made me feel good there was a call for volunteers to fill sandbags and make make shift extra levys. The volunteer response was so high they pretty quickly had to put out notice through many media outlets that no more volunteers were needed at this time. I'm fairly confident that many of those folkks showing up didn't have property in jeopardy. I think most people really want to do even more good stuff than they are already doing but don't know where to start or aren't sure how they could really be helpful.
Click to expand...

Crisis always brings out the best in people.
Hope you wont be effected like you said; there was a dam released here last year; that flooded the city, there was uproar as the electrical company released the damn without permission from the City Council- then there was water shortages for over 3/4's of the cities premises for about 2 month's thereafter,alot of water damage to premises/infrastructure but no one was hurt. Really hard on some people though but consideringsome of last years flood globally,was ok.:|
Anyway, hope you/friends/family will remain okay Enki and that it isn't severe. Fingers crossed.
 
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