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Suicide thread, for assitance and support for all things related to suicide

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yes 8 25, a magical day -hah.!

:-/

well we are all going to die, some people run in circles out of fear of this, ignoring what can be done in life. so they never find out...
doing what you are -
i can not imagine how you wont have a new sense about you..!

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id say fuck it and do it myself, but diving underwater would be my ' bag '.
 
zombiesarepeaceful said:
August 25th?

I said fuck it and booked a tandem skydiving thing this weekend. I figure if I want to die anyway, why not do some crazy ass shit. I've always wanted to know what its like to fly.
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Oooh that sounds like a lot of fun!!!

Free-falling is such a euphoric sensation, I don't know how to describe it. If you haven't done anything like this before you'll love it! :D
 
I'm hoping I'll get the "I wanna die" outta my system from skydiving, coming that close to the exhilaration of possibly dying (even though I know its highly unlikely with an instructor on my back). It's not at all like me to do this. But I guess if I'd never been suicidal, I would've never even considered this. Once you let go fear of death, its easier to do crazy shit that makes you feel alive.
 
Captain.Heroin said:
Oooh that sounds like a lot of fun!!!

Free-falling is such a euphoric sensation, I don't know how to describe it. If you haven't done anything like this before you'll love it! :D
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Only thing I've done that included freefalling was jumping off a 30 ft cliff into a lake, when I had no idea if I could swim. I could, obviously. I'm scared to death of swimming where I can't touch bottom, but I made myself do it to prove a point. It was a great feeling, and I can only imagine that times 60 seconds..60 seconds of freefall before the chute opens and I glide to earth for 7 minutes...I can't fucking wait. I'd do it sooner if I could get a sooner date.
 
^^ that sounds awesome. :]

i'm doing a little better, i have a job interview at staples ha. i dont really give a crap if its a bad job, i just hope i get it. if i dont, then i can see things starting to take a turn for the worse again.
 
zombiesarepeaceful said:
I'm hoping I'll get the "I wanna die" outta my system from skydiving, coming that close to the exhilaration of possibly dying (even though I know its highly unlikely with an instructor on my back). It's not at all like me to do this. But I guess if I'd never been suicidal, I would've never even considered this. Once you let go fear of death, its easier to do crazy shit that makes you feel alive.
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zombiesarepeaceful said:
Only thing I've done that included freefalling was jumping off a 30 ft cliff into a lake, when I had no idea if I could swim. I could, obviously. I'm scared to death of swimming where I can't touch bottom, but I made myself do it to prove a point. It was a great feeling, and I can only imagine that times 60 seconds..60 seconds of freefall before the chute opens and I glide to earth for 7 minutes...I can't fucking wait. I'd do it sooner if I could get a sooner date.
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Wow that's awesome! :) It sounds like it could quite possibly do that. That's pretty amazing sounding, and the closest I've done to this would be free falling harnessed about 305 feet in the air (amusement park). That was pretty awesome nonetheless.

A whole minute of free falling and 7 minutes of gliding back down to the earth? Wow, that's a really long time and it sounds great. :)

DexysMidnightRuner said:
i'm doing a little better, i have a job interview at staples ha. i dont really give a crap if its a bad job, i just hope i get it. if i dont, then i can see things starting to take a turn for the worse again.
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I hope you get the job too! :)
 
I'm lost in life. no where to run, no where to hide. when I reach out for help I am only greeted by emptiness and pain. I dunno what to do anymore. I've never had real friends my entire life, girls always abuse and use me, parents don't understand and made it clear they won't try. what's the point anymore? I have lost anything with meaning in life, so has my life lost it's meaning? I already have my note written, and what's sad is the only thing keeping me going are just stupid material possessions. I think today is going to be that day that I finally do something right for once
 
needles420 said:
I'm lost in life. no where to run, no where to hide. when I reach out for help I am only greeted by emptiness and pain. I dunno what to do anymore. I've never had real friends my entire life, girls always abuse and use me, parents don't understand and made it clear they won't try. what's the point anymore? I have lost anything with meaning in life, so has my life lost it's meaning? I already have my note written, and what's sad is the only thing keeping me going are just stupid material possessions. I think today is going to be that day that I finally do something right for once
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I have known people who have had to do their entire lives without the help of their parents. Your life is still worth living.

Why don't you go outside for a walk, and just think things over? Sometimes some fresh air can really help me feel better. :)
 
but hearing the words "you are not my son" from my mom last nite really hit hard. I went for a walk after that, lost track of time but was gone from probably 2am-5am. I've been looking for worth somewhere in life but it's not there. I've done what I can and am tired of crying everyday with the pain. if I went for a walk now it would just be in front of traffic
 
needles420 said:
but hearing the words "you are not my son" from my mom last nite really hit hard. I went for a walk after that, lost track of time but was gone from probably 2am-5am. I've been looking for worth somewhere in life but it's not there. I've done what I can and am tired of crying everyday with the pain. if I went for a walk now it would just be in front of traffic
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Sometimes people's parents, can say horrible things. Sometimes they are even horrible people. But that doesn't mean that you aren't a good person, who can still live a very fulfilling and enjoyable life. :)

It doesn't matter what your parents have said to you man. I have seen people I love who have had parents who say equally horrible things to their children - it's better that we exclude these people from our family members that we see on an every day basis, i.e. your real family. :)

Just find other people who actually appreciate you, there are plenty of loving people in the world.
 
Captain.Heroin said:
I have known people who have had to do their entire lives without the help of their parents. Your life is still worth living.
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I never knew my father, and my mother is a schizophrenic abusive cunt. My gma was the only stable mother figure in my life, and she died when I was 17. I'm still here. I think its makes you better off in the end, when you're forced to fend for yourself. Even if nobody gives a shit about you now, or it feels like it, then learn to stand on your own....eventually, someone will come along. Or not. Point is, you get stronger from all this bullshit.
 
my feelings of suicidal ideation are becoming unbearable. honestly the only reason i didn't try anything today is because i'm away from home. there i have a 'suicide kit' which is basically my version of a comfort blanket. i know to do it i need benzos, anti-emetics and something to actually kill me. i know i can't do this to my family and boyfriend. i'm going to try to sleep now but i need these thoughts to go away. i've tried so hard to fight but i feel like i'm losing. how can i reconcile this with the people i love? willl they ever understand? i have already ruined my direct famiily and boyfriend's lives through mental illness. i can't do this to them but i'm starting to hate them for tying me to this earth.
 
needles420 said:
that is what I am trying to find. seems impossible to find anyone who actually gives a shit
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They may be far and few between but they exist! :)

You can always PM me if you'd like.

zombiesarepeaceful said:
I never knew my father, and my mother is a schizophrenic abusive cunt. My gma was the only stable mother figure in my life, and she died when I was 17. I'm still here. I think its makes you better off in the end, when you're forced to fend for yourself. Even if nobody gives a shit about you now, or it feels like it, then learn to stand on your own....eventually, someone will come along. Or not. Point is, you get stronger from all this bullshit.
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I would have to agree with your point ZAP, we are stronger because we have had to deal with these sort of things.

chinup said:
my feelings of suicidal ideation are becoming unbearable. honestly the only reason i didn't try anything today is because i'm away from home. there i have a 'suicide kit' which is basically my version of a comfort blanket. i know to do it i need benzos, anti-emetics and something to actually kill me. i know i can't do this to my family and boyfriend. i'm going to try to sleep now but i need these thoughts to go away. i've tried so hard to fight but i feel like i'm losing. how can i reconcile this with the people i love? willl they ever understand? i have already ruined my direct famiily and boyfriend's lives through mental illness. i can't do this to them but i'm starting to hate them for tying me to this earth.
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What do you consider to be your mental illness? I hope that you can realize things can change for the better.

I have always notice life can get more challenging before it gets better. Hang in there. :) If you want to - go ahead and PM me if you don't want to talk about something in the thread here. It's up to you and I hope you are feeling better soon.
23.gif
 
i don't know any more, i have had the following diagnoses: anorexia, depression, amounting to repeated suicide attempts, generalised anxiety, bulimia, possible bipolar. in addition, dependencies to weed and benzos, i know thats not much for TDS but worth a mention to fully answer your question. thats too much for one person to cope with. i've been like this for more than a decade and i have tried so hard.

now i just want to make everyone hate me so they'll be glad when i die but tomorrow it may be a differerent story. i have been experiencing suicidal ideation for about 6 months. i have survived thus ffar by exacerbating drug dependencies and behaving abominably to those who love me. i'm startng to think it wouldn't just be me i'd be doing a favour.
 
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I think theres a person that still cares about you a lot and that is you. Why do the worst thing you can do for yourself.

I have generalized anxiety and panic attacks although they are now a less concern. I am bipolar and need to take dugs for it that cause undesirable side-effects. I have back problems such as slipped and herniated discs which give a quite pain and I am addicted to OxyContin.

But still I want to live as I do care about myself.
 
chinup said:
my feelings of suicidal ideation are becoming unbearable. honestly the only reason i didn't try anything today is because i'm away from home. there i have a 'suicide kit' which is basically my version of a comfort blanket. i know to do it i need benzos, anti-emetics and something to actually kill me. i know i can't do this to my family and boyfriend. i'm going to try to sleep now but i need these thoughts to go away. i've tried so hard to fight but i feel like i'm losing. how can i reconcile this with the people i love? willl they ever understand? i have already ruined my direct famiily and boyfriend's lives through mental illness. i can't do this to them but i'm starting to hate them for tying me to this earth.
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Benzodiazepines can be making you feel worse once you're dependent on them - have you considered tapering off of them?

A benzo habit can be really serious like a heroin habit can so I don't look down on you for mentioning it; at least you know what your problems are and you have worked on them. :)

Increasing a medication's dosage versus suicide attempts, obviously increasing the dosage is more pertinent, your life is always worth living.

So I don't blame you for getting on them - maybe now's the time to get off of them?

Everyone in your life who cares for you will still love you no matter how you act at them, so please realize they will want to reach out even more and figure out why you are feeling down <3
 
Well, thanks to getting fucked out of 3 days of work for bullshit reasons, I won't be going skydiving afterall this weekend. Cause although its their bullshit that's costing me 3 days work and I'm being punished for testing positive for shit that's fucking prescribed to me, they're still not gonna pay me when the GC/MS comes back that it is indeed what I'm prescribed.

And I'm pretty sure I'm asexual now, cause I finally took the plunge and..I won't go into detail so its not triggering, but sex made me feel suicidal. Great.
 
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