fullycaffeinated
Bluelighter
I'm so frustrated with myself... I got down to 4 mg for a few days and then somehow talked myself back into going up to 8 mg, been taking 8 mg for the past three days but life sucks. Everything sucks. I feel extremely empty, have felt so for so long it's unreal.... but I went to 4 mg suboxone and then convinced myself that taken it was much better; music wasn't so intense, I was more confident with people etc.... What the hell have I gone and done? Will I always feel so empty or will this leave me once I'm off this.... I don't know what to think or feel anymore about this drug; I feel like there's two people battling inside me.... one for suboxone the other against it and there's no way of winning. I really don't know what to do anymore...
Evey
Evey, I can't recall, did you ever stabilize at 6 mg or are you trying to jump from 8 to 4. Something tells me that's the case, and if it is, I would recommend trying six before you go down to four. 8 to 4, at least for me, is way too big of a jump. Even if you were at six, I would recommend trying five before four.
Also, have you tried any counseling or meetings. I know some people aren't big into that kind of stuff, but for me, I got to a point where I realized I really couldn't go any further without some kind of counseling, and I am getting into that now. If you really don't think that's for you, I get it, but I know for a lot of people, there are some issues that really need to be worked out while they are on Suboxone.
Try not to get discouraged, the fact is, you're still on bupe, and you haven't relapsed, so as far as I'm concerned, any day that you don't relapse is a good day in my book. Eventually you will get down to four, and even further, but some people really need to take it slow and there's no harm in saying on Suboxone for as long as you need to.