For my age, barely about to break 30- i'm lucky to have tried
PENTObarbital, sodium thiopental, & for longer-use-duration: both (a
VERY unlucky exposure to, which resulted in a HUGE dependencies of) butalbital & phenobarbital (pheno is crap recreationally, but great for
non-GABA-B-agonist GABAergic withdrawal--which was what it was used for when i got off my 2000mg/day butalbital habit (40 pills a day. sick.), 1555.2mg pheno a day, 388.8mg 4x a day).
I prefer pentobarbital to all of them, including any benzodiazepine.. of which include i've sampled: (all taken orally unless otherwise noted) alprazolam, bromazepam, clonazepam, diazepam, diclazepam, midazolam (oral & IV), lorazepam (oral & IV), etizolam (oral, IV, IM, subcutaneous), temazepam, pyrazolam (would
*LOVE* to fucking try flubromazepam.. its coming soon or later!
). I prefer etizolam & clonazepam, alprazolam slightly--i have a feeling i'll greatly appreciate flubromazepam over all of them.
HOWEVER, I now prefer benzodiazepines as they allow for the same/similar anxiolytic/hypnotic and/or anticonvulsant effect one needs (in my case all 3) w/o the severe cognitive impairment that barbiturates have to offer. But, barbiturates do cause analgesia and can induce anesthesia (i basically went to sleep each night by putting myself in a barbitic coma!)--and cause doubly powerfully reinforcing affects there. But till this day, knowing how what i've been through (below), put in front of my face now (& conditional i couldn't "sell" any of it & only for my own personal use)? I'd still probably take a bottle of 180 50mg butalbital (hold the APAP
please, 40mg of caffeine i don't mind though) over a bottle of 180 1mg alprazolam
any fucking day.
TheTwighlight said:
I love benzos & barbs. I've only tried butalbital and phenobarbital. I don't much care for pheno. But butalbital is fucking awesome. I take it every day, actually. It's the best migraines medication I've ever taken. Keeps them completely at bay. I have scripts for whatever benzos I want - currently I have temazepam and alprazolam. I like temmies alot, but they are weak as fuck. Xanax is great, but I'm addicted to it, so I have to be very careful with it. Been hooked on it for like, almost 8 years. They're great.
TheTwighlight.. I hope you read this entire post.
Truth be told, GABAergic withdrawal is worse than a 3 to 5 a day 10 year dope habit (especially GABA-b PAMs, like GHB/baclofen) however, it took 10-15 days in the ICU (don't know for how long exactly, I believe it was 12 days, but this is b/c i was on a ventilator & was almost pronounced dead--I was in a barbitic coma--from just accidentally taking double my nightly dose; although my tolerance was high. But don't think YOURS wont get there if you keep fucking w/ butalbital) & two stays at a psychiatric hospital to finally kick barbiturates- totaling 45 days (13 the first; 32 days the 2nd stay following the incident in the ICU).
The First Hospital Stay: Self-admission into psychiatric hospital, 13 days, I was on pheno while there & felt completely stable, not "happy" per se b/c i didn't have my d.o.c.- but content enough considering the circumstance. I then tapered during my final 4-5 days rapidly (bad idea IMO: but was told for the gazzillionth time this wasn't enough weaning time--only to be proven CORRECT. last 2-3 days were kinda rough, but that's all), had 1 minor halfish "seizure event" b/c they fucking refused to call the hospital (so i could see a neurologist). I was given take home temazepam--psychiatrically I was still a mess, though. When the take-home temazepam ran out--despite taking & weaning as Rx'd OFF of THAT. SOO back on the butalbital/barbiturates. I would rather experience cold turkey heroin withdrawal again (on buprenorphine since Dec 2007 for that & have been clean since from full-agonist opiates/opioids) than deal w/ that now.
The Second/Final (i HOPE!) Stay: Prior to this psychiatric hospital admission, was in ICU 10-15 days (on 2mg IV lorazepam (Ativan) every 2 hrs to stop seizures); still had 1 while there during hospital stay. Afterwards was transported to psychiatric hospital for 32 days where I received no GABAergic rather than gabapentin, which is hardly GABAergic AND dropped from 3000mg//day to 2000mg/day--
ESPECIALLY WHEN I AM IN A FUCKING CONVULSANT-PRONE STATE!?!?... state hospital only way they got away w/ it. Needs independent, citizenry review boards in my opinion. Anyway, I was "alright" the first month afterwards; but when i couldn't find a PCP who'd take me for a referral to a neurologist (given my laundry list of back problems, anxiety, bi-polar, blah blah), & when my county nurse refused to Rx me my PRE-admission dose of gabapentin (3000mg, her bitch-ass kept me on 900mg)--NOR refused any sleeping medication or anything to even deal w/ occasional anxiety aside from hydroxyzine (better off taking a diphenhydramine! err, benadryl!).. Fuck it, went to etizolam; obviously she didn't care that I came in there w/ a BPM of 135, its usually 60-90; & a BP of 150/110, when my BP is usually low[/B].
My answer?
NEITHER. if you can't help yourself. And even if you can? Stay away from barbiturates; addiction, withdrawal, & dependency can occur in as little as 2 days. Whereas w/ benzodiazepines at least you have a few weeks. & if outta benzodiazepines for around 12-24 hours? at least I can throw back a few smith & forge hard ciders & feel fine. That would make me puke in barbiturate w/d at even the 3 hour point. & barbiturate w/d? Cant/doesnt compare, the delirium tremens are just darker... more endless.. longer.. more involving.. ::shudder:: glad the barbs were replaced by benzos. And i can't wait till their all available only in hospital settings. BUT, as an anti-prohibitionist, it should be made available to current addicts only (easily done w/ a UA or blood-test; which a barb addict will gladly submit to if he/she is about to lose their mind from barb w/d).
The reason I don't care for benzos is because I'm really high strung and when I take benzos I either take too much or not enough and its a fine line between those 2.
And unfortunately--acquisition of that one is beyond my RC skill & that of any of the holiest of holy RC'ers I know in such related forums i know. Although there are some RC quinazolinones I may try w/ some cash to blow. Etaqualone seems to be the only one around at the time at reasonable prices, but it--and others like methylmethaqualone--seem to not be worth it for the cost & from what I hear of their epileptic effects. 