Thanks for the link.
This. In the past I've had some bad "cycle of doom/death" episodes, but the experience the other day was extremely positive and I'm not sure why that trip was positive compared to the previous negative ones.
I felt warmth/empathy towards others in my mind, had positive thoughts about negative life experiences, et al. I had super "sped up" thoughts, too. It was the most energized I've felt almost in my entire life, even though recently I've grown highly (and scarily) fatigued and depressed recently.
I should note, though, that I took lamotrigine too (a high dose), which often makes me feel emotional/clearheaded thoughts. In my natural state I have severe social anxiety, deep despair, and depression that prevents me from having good motor skills, being able to think in a productive way, et al. But man, that was the most positive and productive drug experience (and sober, too) I've ever had.
Man I've been feeling this lately as well.
I've been so fricking tired & lifeless lately. I feel so dead inside. Nothing seems to be enjoyable anymore.
I had 130mg of hydrocodone I got to play with last week & it barely did anything. Wasn't very enjoyable at all.
So I went back to my subs & usually my subs are at least slightly enjoyable, but even that's gone. Weed just makes me feel more tired & lazy.
And for awhile there, I was taking klonopin at night & it was giving me a very mild euphoric, relaxed "buzz" that was pretty enjoyable. Now that's gone too.
I just tried going for a walk and it felt so difficult. My whole body is achy & sore now.
I'm super tempted to do a big DXM trip to free my mind & body from this rut it's in. I've had those DXM trips where I become almost rejuvenated & suddenly have motivation & energy again & my body feels good. But I'm also worried about having a shitty/neutral trip instead.
I use to get trips that made me feel like I was dying too. I hated those, ,although when they were over, I still felt pretty alive & clear headed again.
This fatigue lately though is just so damn depressing. I want to feel alive again & enjoy things, but I dunno wtf to do. Maybe an extended break from all my daily meds/drugs, but that's easier said than done.
Glad you had a good trip though!
I've heard of lamotrigine, but have never tried it. That's weird that it seems to do the opposite of what it was intended for (aka, stabilizing your emotions & generally making one feel more tired or foggy-brained, rather than clear headed). Wonder if it would be helpful for me at all or if it'd just make my issues worse.