Recovery Started methadone :(

So years ago I was going to a clinic everyday to dose. I had made it up to 200mg, and after several months my life had been just me laying around the house not wanting to work or do anything, so I came clean to my parents that I was on methadone and they literally disowned me, they literally told me that they don't want shit to do with me.
So me feeling some type of way & miserable as fuck, I ended up checking myself into a psychward to detox, and .it was a pretty rough experience because they didn't ween me off. Instead they just pumped me full of phenobarbital, like a lot of phenobarbital. & I detoxed there in the hospital.
I ended up making it, luckily I ended up fully detoxed off the methadone.
I was first taking the methadone to get high on it rather than dope, and i kept bumping my dose up again and again, and looking back, i wish that i had staid at a comfortable dose, like maybe 50mg.
 
Hey @tibberous maybe try to continue to give methadone a try & let it develop a little in your system.I t takes it a little while before you start to feel normal, especially if you have been using opiates before using the methadone.
I've tried the methadone route, but I ended up doing the Suboxone maintenance. I take 3 8mg/2mg(buprenorphine & naloxone) film/strips a day, and there are sometimes where I'll play with my dose some now that I've been on it for a while. I might take 1 strip in the morning & 1 in the evening, or i might take 2 strips at once and save the other one for another day.
I feel like I can manage my own treatment by doing that, because ultimately I want to get off of the stuff, and tapering won't really be a problem, I've got so many of these strips left each month because there are times where I won't take anything because I take other psych meds that sometimes help with the cravings too.
Maybe you can see a doctor about starting on some psych meds or something to help along with the methadone.
Anyways, take care and let us know how you've been doing.
Curious about the other psych meds that’s help you and the timing/doses in regards to other meds you take. As much info if any that your willing to share
 
Curious about the other psych meds that’s help you and the timing/doses in regards to other meds you take. As much info if any that your willing to share
Sure,
I'm currently on 20mg Lexapro, 30mg busebar 2x day, Hydroxyzine x3 a day, 25mg Seroquel x2 a day(as needed), Lisinopril x1 day(for blood pressure), 200mg Seroquel 1x at bedtime, 50mg Trazadone @ beetime, 150mg metropolil(blood pressure) @ bedtime. & Today I will be starting 100mg gabapentin 2-3x a day.
I also am prescribed 8mg suboxone 3x a day, but I'll usually feel good by just taking 8mg in the morning and 8mg in the evening (around 5pm).
It's a lot of medication, though i feel pretty normal now after taking this medicine for awhile now.
I had checked myself in an inpatient program on 11/1/24 and been on a majority of the medicine since then.
 
Thank you for sharing, means more than you know
Sure,
I'm currently on 20mg Lexapro, 30mg busebar 2x day, Hydroxyzine x3 a day, 25mg Seroquel x2 a day(as needed), Lisinopril x1 day(for blood pressure), 200mg Seroquel 1x at bedtime, 50mg Trazadone @ beetime, 150mg metropolil(blood pressure) @ bedtime. & Today I will be starting 100mg gabapentin 2-3x a day.
I also am prescribed 8mg suboxone 3x a day, but I'll usually feel good by just taking 8mg in the morning and 8mg in the evening (around 5pm).
It's a lot of medication, though i feel pretty normal now after taking this medicine for awhile now.
I had checked myself in an inpatient program on 11/1/24 and been on a majority of the medicine since then.
 
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how much hydroxazine?
Sure,
I'm currently on 20mg Lexapro, 30mg busebar 2x day, Hydroxyzine x3 a day, 25mg Seroquel x2 a day(as needed), Lisinopril x1 day(for blood pressure), 200mg Seroquel 1x at bedtime, 50mg Trazadone @ beetime, 150mg metropolil(blood pressure) @ bedtime. & Today I will be starting 100mg gabapentin 2-3x a day.
I also am prescribed 8mg suboxone 3x a day, but I'll usually feel good by just taking 8mg in the morning and 8mg in the evening (around 5pm).
It's a lot of medication, though i feel pretty normal now after taking this medicine for awhile now.
I had checked myself in an inpatient program on 11/1/24 and been on a majority of the medicine since then.
 
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I was first taking the methadone to get high on it rather than dope, and i kept bumping my dose up again and again, and looking back, i wish that i had staid at a comfortable dose, like maybe 50mg.

I don't know if you have read the William S. Burroughs novel/autobiography/extended journalism work 'Junkie'.

He really did learn a lot about opioids. He noted that there were occasional users who took a 'joybang' and it seems another class of people who limited themselves to taking the stuff every other day, the prevailing view being that if used on alternate days or less, dependence doesn't appear to form, or at least he never dealt with any of them since those with a habit sort of looked down on people who actually ENJOYED the stuff.
 
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I don't know if you have read the William S. Burroughs novel/autobiography/extended journalism work 'Junkie'.

He really did learn a lot about opioids. He noted that there were occasional users who took a 'joybang' and it seems another class of people who limited themselves to taking the stuff every other day, the prevailing view being that if used on alternate days or less, dependence doesn't appear to form, or at least he never dealt with any of them since those with a habit sort of looked down on people who actually ENJOYED the stuff.
Man I'd like to check that out. Im always reading something about opiates & the dangers of the stuff. Back in 2005-2006 I had my first real experience with hydrocodone & went from that to Oxycodone 80mgs, then Dilaudid & finally heroin & ended up trying Suboxone somewhere in there, and I remember how sick it made me. (I didn't know what it was so i would use it ontop of Oxys).
Was sent to my first rehab around that time, and me only being 16-18 years old. I had joined BL somewhere in that time too.
Anyways, i guess what i was getting at is that experience was like an omen to what I had to come, because it really wasn't pot, or benzos or even drinking, it was opiates.

Like today, I took my 8mg strip this morning and I'm just surprised how quick it works. It doesn't get me high or anything, just helps me feel normal.

I eventually want to switch to the monthly shot called Sublucade and go from there.
 
I'm on 210mg of methadone rn, down from 380mg. I couldn't break through the sick which is why I got so high with the dosage in the first place.

I saved up a bunch of bottles from my carries for a "big quit" but failed miserably. I drank something like 3200mg of methadone (26 bottles i had saved up over time) and was still fucking sick so I completely relapsed. It was a lost cause.

I'm glad that I'm back on methadone though because it softens relapses. I've fucked up here or there but it doesn't take me completely off the rails. Stick with it but temper your expectations.
Who the hell prescribed 380 mg of methadone , thats insane
 
I've just spent a frustrating half hour trying to find a digital version of the book for you. But in fact, WSB was actually recorded narrating his tome and it's a rare case in which THAT version of the audiobook is actually better than the book. But not the more recent audiobook read by someone else.



I'm afraid this is the best I was able to do. It seems like the WSB recording is being suppressed, Until last year a few sites had the audiobook as a downloadable .MP3.

Enjoy!
 
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