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Spiritual/Religious Experiences on Amps/Stims

motiv311

motiv311

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 25, 2005
Messages
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Location
San Diego
I'm prescribed adderall. And I use it along with cannabis, klonopin, and occasionally suboxone.

I also take 5-htp, SAM-E, Taurine, dl-phenylethylalanie, Piracetam, and Ammino's everyday.


ANWAYS:


Sometimes when I am a bit sleep deprived/starved.. I have the most incredible experiences. Almost like i'm communicating with some more spiritual side of myself; an overwhelming joy that lets me know that I am never alone and not to fear death.

It brings me to tears sometimes.

It happens usually when I am either meditating or praying; or humbling myself (if that makes sense) before the creator.

It goes even deeper, but i'll leave it there for now.


Has anyone experienced this sort of thing; Have I just "jumped the shark" a little to much, or is this to be welcomed?
 
Stimulant use can bring you directly into the here and now, and can involve facing issues such as aloneness, loss and death. *Certainly* they can be spiritual, IMO/IME, and genuinely so. Finding the light very often involves confronting and coming to terms with darkness.
 
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Please try to minimize any self harm. Many people have talked about numinous or transcendental experiences from fasting but I'd even ask for to avoid self harm with drugless fating.

We won't be able to tell you if your loosing it, having an authentic experience or both. Both seems most likely to be the case to some extent. Spiritual components no doubt exist with stimulant but it might be one of those candles burning at both ends kinds of thing.

First Fig

My candle burns at both ends;
It will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends--
It gives a lovely light.~Edna St. Vincent Millay
Click to expand...
 
i always thaught the sleep dep from meth was more deluded/insane than anything else...hate the hallucinations.seems quite dangerous compared to psychs dont you think?
 
From my experiences it seems one can have a mystical experience (++++ on Shulgin scale) on any chemical or none at all via meditation. I personally don't think amphetamine could ever give me one.. but everyones brain is wired differently.

Something like LSD or ayahuasca or really any of the psychedelics would be more likely.
 
I did Adderal once. My old roommate had a 30mg and he crushed up all the little balls. I said fuck man that's a lot of dust and he said shit that's only half of it. So I blew the whole thing and was instantly lifted. I fucking cleaned the whole house, and then spent the rest of 48hrs writing one verse of a song, but that one verse that I wrote was some really spiritual shit. Here it is if you care to read it. p.s. the next day he told me that he lied and I actually blew the whole thing.

mysterious catacombs
hidden worlds beyond the pupil
delirious sick circle
revolving doors trapping you within

welcome gentleman lets begin.

Involving intricate floors
switchin dimensions
sittin with distorted perception of Escher position
ascension through planes of existence by way of astral projection
dark thoughts phantom nous, introspection divine
my mind finds truth in reflection, manifestations of salvation
observed in constellations contemplating information that made us
larger than life, ramifications of indulging temptations
sensations of being cut down to size
finally I've received answers to questions which I had once pondered why
scaling the rugged edge of sanity with peace of mind
letting go of misconceptions which were once contrived
stepping through the shadow finding divinity on the other side
still ego continues battling, but in time it too must die.
 
it seems you understand what these drugs do, and how they work...
it also sounds like you are breaking down barriers, maybe, one way or another.

but, why keep wondering as to the foundation of your faith because of drugs?
i, hehe, was looking for a thread to say -- personally not having
opioids in my body and brain, my soul feels much more free.

im not suggesting you dont take the meds you need, but dont let them be your medium...
amphetamines are especially tricky, heh, especially considering continuing circumstances.
find yourself in yourself, and your faith, please do, learn, but it is near redundant to do so -
and question under the influence like that, and is further diverting from oneself.
practices such as this are common through out history, especially for spiritual enlightenment,
but strictly for, not needed, and not every-time.

:: absorb and love yourself and surroundings ::
 
Shamans use sleep deprivation to shift to enter altered states of consciousness. It could be that your particular combination of medications and lack of sleep are somehow breaking down thought-patterns and helping you to access a different level of consciousness.

I have used/abused amphetamines sometimes thinking that I had "solved it all", but at that time my experiences were more on the delusional side. I do feel that some of my experiences with MDMA, however, have been genuinely "spiritual" or however you want to call it.

After going to several Ayahuasca ceremonies and spending lots of time with one of the members there who is a very special friend to me, I will never doubt that some people are able to use altered states as part of a genuine spiritual path. But this idea can also be a way of justifying certain behaviors, which I admittedly do at times (occasionally? often? ;))
 
panic in paradise said:
it seems you understand what these drugs do, and how they work...
it also sounds like you are breaking down barriers, maybe, one way or another.

but, why keep wondering as to the foundation of your faith because of drugs?
i, hehe, was looking for a thread to say -- personally not having
opioids in my body and brain, my soul feels much more free.

im not suggesting you dont take the meds you need, but dont let them be your medium...
amphetamines are especially tricky, heh, especially considering continuing circumstances.
find yourself in yourself, and your faith, please do, learn, but it is near redundant to do so -
and question under the influence like that, and is further diverting from oneself.
practices such as this are common through out history, especially for spiritual enlightenment,
but strictly for, not needed, and not every-time.

:: absorb and love yourself and surroundings ::
Click to expand...


Yeah, Its hard to "retain" the truths or barriers you break through on drugs. WIth adderall, I don't get euphoric anymore, unless I use external stimuli in combination with adderall. So I got to be doing something, or socializing, playing music, reading. Then I might get inspired.

Also I've been attempting/aspiring to meditate daily for just seven minutes, and do yoga for twenty minutes. Its like my spiritual-inner-monologue is thanking me.... (I.E. "thats good! you're body needs this healing") ---- Sometimes I will hear almost like telepathically. .. "don't think, just breath" .... or things like "just be.... "


I have to put myself in a very detached, worry-free state to receive this "divine" lol inspirations.

With psychedelics it comes naturally... with the adderall it takes discipline, moderation, strict regimented planning, and a quiet noise-free zone.... Also a sunny day helps!
 
practice, self and outer respect.
keep listening.

with psychedelics, thats the point, to have an extraordinary un-real experience.
i cant assume of any of this -lol- but id guess sometimes such barriers could be broken, but...
was it that? or the hallucinogen; abruptly discredited with me( even as my own in past )
no, ive had 1, one, a single part of a DMT experience out of countless psychedelic experiences that seemed relative, more instances of my dreams and waking realizations have.

~~~
i get elaborate hard to decipher CEV's eventually, after a while, that snake comes calmly crawling near then bares up and shows fang, but, fear doesnt exist there( long common theme )
last night, i definitely cant retain any of it now, but my eyes were shaking like mad, my eye lids wanted to open, and as you a deep voice from with in it seems, echoing out to "keep going" in so many words.
what was occurring while my eyes were bouncing was what seemed like 1000's of words, words pertaining to each other descriptive, and the further i was able to fallow and decipher them with out thinking, the further i went; for i guess 20 minutes.


IDK, a positive experience is positive, but was there in you and of you &
there is a lot more, but trying to find a trap-door,...
nay nay -- who do you ask to find your way out?
and how can you trust they'll know/show the way for sure...?
 
^^It's true that a psychedelic experience comes from within, but sometimes we can use a little bit of "help" accessing what is there. People speak of contacting entities, elves, aliens, etc. To me these are just external representations of our unconscious. It may be helpful to have such a representation of something that we are not always conscious of. Or it may not be. Who knows? Worshiping a deity, for example, to me is just acknowledging the love or wisdom that is within, being represented by an external figure. Ultimately everything is from inside of us, isn't it? Perception perception perception...

Maybe the biggest lesson is that the psychedelic experience is as unreal as our dream state which is as unreal as our waking state?

What the experience becomes depends on the individual. Some may find insight, others end up with psychosis. I prefer to walk the line in between ;)
 
It could have been genuine mysticism, and then again it could just be hypomania, which is well documented effect of using amphetamine to stave off sleep.

But even if getting into this state does put you in touch with a genuine spiritual state, surely there are healthier ways to achieve that state.
 
Sometimes when I am a bit sleep deprived/starved.. I have the most incredible experiences. Almost like i'm communicating with some more spiritual side of myself; an overwhelming joy that lets me know that I am never alone and not to fear death.
Click to expand...
this is why A) drugs have been an integral part of religion, and B) fasting has been an integral part as well.

religion relies on a particular state of mind (which translates to a particular physical neurochemical state of the brain)... once humans find a way to reach that state, it becomes a part of our culture.

so btw... the god you speak with during these experiences... it is you. if our brains are powerful enough to make us feel all that we feel, and construct our entire world, they are powerful enough to give us these experiences with seemingly outside influence (and make them feel real)
But even if getting into this state does put you in touch with a genuine spiritual state, surely there are healthier ways to achieve that state.
Click to expand...
do you say this to people who fast?

though i agree... both fasting and binging on stims are horrible means to attain a mystical state of mind.
 
^

hi,
im going to have to request you as a friend now...

ohhh where do we lie.
ohhh where do we lay.

Lecture of nectarines taking precedence
Over the vast emptiness of my name and quickly depleting body
Collapsed in holy withdrawal and a shivering wound left unhealed by time or paranoia
Hopeless hope of nothing to come but lonesome nights in the thick of nowhere
Juniper daze and hold me over the barrel of your gun
Ancient aneurysm of dysfunctional maladies, bitter taste lingers on a tongue of misfortunate choice
There, beneath hideous green/blue liquids await truths yet untold
And by token of my own relinquished desire, fire of uncommon velocity
burn the palate in star/space speed
and brooding collapse...
Flat on my back, eyes turned towards heaven, black after that all else fades and in this haze
of unequaled delirium, I become the father who in life has evaded me
For all to see, my religious frenzy
played out in turbulent half-acts at rosary pinwheels
Blood drips wearily from the wounds of childhood affliction, claws ripping inwardly
Forget all I've previously tried to raze
And instead gaze upon the altar now assembled
to erase that which gave birth to this
unfortunate man/child. With a slightly crooked smile,
replace torn, umbilical rip cord in defense
of my premeditated crime. Unworthy bastard they call I
And I alone shall stand in judgement of the mirror held before me
Cracked down the middle like quicksilver oozing down your golden throat
A blood-letting jab through the arteries of stasis, and chaos floods the body like a broken dream...
Holding on in bold-faced desperation,
Holding on to one last fatal glimpse
Hands meet, touch, retract
Burned to ember
Weakness has sunken in and taken its place
at the head of this dark parade
Stormtroopers attack, bringing up the backwash of bile
A vile agenda agenda lived out in monotonous pain
Forming shit soaked lived, denied by those
who fake at life
Denied, maligned, redefined circles of shit
Costumed as shit
Cherishing shit as though we are indebted to it
May we live to regret or forget?
This nightmare is in overdrive,
A fire of uncommon velocity.
Click to expand...

r. williams
 
cat in a box R.A.W.?
~;-)
on the Golden Submarine??
haha

no,
rozz williams.
so perfect, but his diversion of 'drugs', was enough to have him take his life.
not the way, not the Light....
he spoke of this often in his music, never really got it until recently.
honestly.
 
For me its about transcendence. Almost like an eastern/buddhist sense. I never go longer than 40 hours awake anymore. And I do eat a little bit.

I'm sure it would be more rewarding to do it "o natural" --- but I just don't think I'd be able to. I've been on adderall and anti-depressants since I was 12.
 
i don't know rozz. bob wilson was very influential in my philosophy. he got me into drugs and thus bluelight ;)
 
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